the "things you wish you could say" thread

[FishProf]

It isn't a ground-up faculty initiative if the President said "We are doing this.  Figure it out".

Maybe a recipe: start with some ground-up faculty...

All our faculty here are ground-down.

[bento]

No (interim dean), faculty are not excited to spend a week in summer helping what you call "onboarding" of freshmen.

[Cheerful]

No (interim dean), faculty are not excited to spend a week in summer helping what you call "onboarding" of freshmen.

Hopefully, this summer fun is accompanied by some onboarding of supplemental salary into your paycheck.

[archaeo42]

Oh my god what the f*ck did you do?

[mamselle]

Please keep better track of your emails.

I'm getting really tired of sending things multiple times!!!

M.

[archaeo42]

Please keep better track of your emails.

I'm getting really tired of sending things multiple times!!!

M.

This is when I just forward the last email I sent requesting that file/information/etc to that person.

[mamselle]

Yeah, I do that. A lot.

Just wish it would get better...!

M.

[marshwiggle]

No (interim dean), faculty are not excited to spend a week in summer helping what you call "onboarding" of freshmen.

Whenever I hear "onboarding", my mind goes to "waterboarding". I'm not sure how Freudian that is....

[mamselle]

Yeah, I do that. A lot.

Just wish it would get better...!

M.

And working for (the same) also-conflict-averse person who wants to side-step everything, when the real need is to resolve an issue so we can move along, is also exhausting.

Do your job!!!

(and don't make me set things up so it "just happens"....you're supposed to be in charge, not me!)

M.

[downer]

You're a fossil, a relic, and it is obvious that as a chair, you are a waste of time. You can't keep up and under your direction, the department is clearly just going to lose more full time faculty and probably eventually be merged with another more productive department. Of course, maybe you are not to blame, because you were the one who agreed to be chair when the rest of the department just want to sit at home diddling. So you are all a bunch of has-beens. You should all retire.

[ab_grp]

If you think you're going to throw me under the bus successfully, think again.  I've got the receipts, as they say.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

No, student from last semester, I cannot change your grade so that you can continue to receive final aide. Well, I did say this. I wish I could say something else, but it is rather uncouth.

[AmLitHist]

Student, grow the f--- up and stop talking and giggling through my Comp II class. I called you out on it by name on Day 2 and Day 3. (Everybody was a little rambunctious on Day 1, and that's OK. But I warned everyone to get it out of their systems and come back ready to work. They did.) 

Why are you surprised--and mad as hell--that I both called you out AND took you out in the hall during class yesterday (Day 4)?  I was dead serious when I offered to walk you to my chair and/or the dean so you could complain about me. You had your chance.

Getting your things and stomping out didn't get you anywhere when you did it in my Comp I last semester.  It doesn't work now, either.  As I told you then, I teach in a college, not a junior high, so knock it off.  I'll be damned if I babysit this semester (though I'm mandated to do a good deal of it in Fall Comp I classes).

(For the record, the other 24 in the room are a dream--mature, engaged, bright, etc.  There's generally a huge jump in the civility of our students from Comp I to II.  I was hoping they'd shame this one into settling down but, nope.)

[downer]

Thanks for our email suggesting how i could make your life easier, dept chair.

Frankly, I don't give a shit.

[fishbrains]

The general consensus of our little subcommittee was that our initiative was couched in too much jargon. You replied with, "Yes, we may have to recalibrate those deliverables." Everyone laughed lightly because we thought you were being witty.

When we looked at your face that was all a-flummoxed, we realized you were serious. So we laughed aloud. Then you got all pouty.

My best advice: Go home and start drinking until you see the humor in the situation. 'Cause I don't care who you are, that was funny.