the "things you wish you could say" thread

[Economizer]

I wish that I could say wudn't and dudn't. I can say them but I cannot (can't) be thought proper in doing it.  Although these words are used quite commonly in the vicinity in which I reside and frequent, according to those who determine such for my base language, re them, the aforementioned unapproved contractions, I shouldn't. It is time for a change, I say.  And in respects to the arbiters of such, don't dare say that, were it their will, they couldn't!  Whew.

[toothpaste]

Started a conversation on school parents' group about possibility of starting spring break prematurely so our kids don't heighten COVID. Very mildly put.

What I'm so far holding back on saying, "So you want your kid to be the bullet that kills your [insert favorite vulnerable loved one here]?"

[alto_stratus]

"Dear, lovely, husband, I TOLD you we should stock up on TP. You said I was being silly. And now, there is no Charmin."

[mamselle]

Unrelated to the above (I may have said this before, even...)

Inefficiency is multiplicative. The more people you put in charge, the less effective that group will be.

And I'm not feeling very trusting about the folks who are choosing the people to be put in charge.

So...I'm glad it will be put in place after I leave. Just hope the group survives.

M.

[ab_grp]

Inefficiency is multiplicative. The more people you put in charge, the less effective that group will be.

Mamselle, I'm sorry... your situation does not sound good.  What you said about more people in charge reminds me of this demotivation poster (I hope the humor will help): "None of us is as dumb as all of us." https://despair.com/products/meetings?variant=2457301507

I really need to figure out the embedded URL tags again but don't have the energy right now given stuff.

[mamselle]

Thanks, yes, that's about the size of it!

Appreciated.

M.

[nescafe]

Dear Ph.D. candidate,

Writing to another scholar in your field and starting with "I haven't read your book, but" and then proceeding to ask several questions about material from their book is not the way to anyone's heart. This is especially the case if you are emailing an author who has also been your Reviewer 2.

Best,
Get a Clue

[the_geneticist]

To anyone who approaches me with tiny/only matters to them/"not my problem" problems

I have bigger fish to fry!  Go away and bug someone else.

(aka I have to get TWO different lab courses ready to be online for nearly 1000 students in less than three weeks!  How many weeks of online vs in person?  No one knows!  When will we find out?  No one knows!  What is my budget?  No one knows, but I'm guessing $0!)

[FishProf]

Dear Mom and Dad

You are what is wrong with America.  Or, you would be if you bothered to vote.

Italy didn't close to stick it to Trump.  Covid-19 is real.

Fishprof

[nescafe]

Dear Mom and Dad

You are what is wrong with America.  Or, you would be if you bothered to vote.

Italy didn't close to stick it to Trump.  Covid-19 is real.

Fishprof

My parents think this is all some kind of Democratic conspiracy and that travel bans between my state and the rest of the country are a great idea. Not because of public health (because this is all a hoax, right), but because it'll keep us liberals from taking over their Trumpist utopia.

Put another way: OMG I feel you fishprof.

[FishProf]

I got off the phone with them 10 minutes before their Dear Leader declared a national state of Emergency.

How will they rationalize that?

[polly_mer]

I got off the phone with them 10 minutes before their Dear Leader declared a national state of Emergency.

How will they rationalize that?

Well, on the radio, it sounded like Trump wasn't really on top of what he was saying.  Perhaps someone made Trump make the declaration by holding a beloved grandchild hostage.

[mamselle]

I'm wondering if he's finally taken it onboard that he could have the virus, having been exposed, and is just starting to catch up to the facts because it's happening to him.

Which, sorry to say, seems to be the only way he takes anything on board.

M.

[FishProf]

I got off the phone with them 10 minutes before their Dear Leader declared a national state of Emergency.

How will they rationalize that?

Well, on the radio, it sounded like Trump wasn't really on top of what he was saying.  Perhaps someone made Trump make the declaration by holding a beloved grandchild hostage.

Which would run counter to his tough-guy, drain the swamp, i have bigger hands persona they so claim to love.

[Vkw10]

Am I the only person who's realized that we need to plan for significant drop in summer and fall enrollment? Between a pandemic and economic dislocations caused by reaction, many of our students may take a semester off. I know we have to meet deadlines, but shouldn't you at least be encouraging us to do some contingency planning?!?

I haven't said it, but I now have three budget outlines for next year. One is based on slightly optimistic flat enrollment forecasts of early January. Two is based on missing those projections by 3%, which I considered likely when I saw reviewed the underlying data. Three is disaster scenario, with enrollment decline of 25%.