the "things you wish you could say" thread

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I plan to call tomorrow and say the following in a more polite manner, but I wish I could yell this at them.

"Will one of the doctors here please figure out what the bloody (insert some f-bombs here) hell is wrong with me?"

[mamselle]

"It used to take you at least two weeks to forget you said you wouldn't cancel our regular 1-on-1s with less than 24 hours notice.

Now you're down to 10 days.

If you really mean all those laudatory things you say about my work--which is, of course, stellar (/irony])--you'd show it by respecting my time as much as you do your own.

At least this charade ends soon.

Good luck."

(I'll omit some of that, but I will have to draw attention to the time issues. It's as if the schedule is just penciled in for him and etched in stone for me...a 10 AM meeting today was cancelled with no notice this morning at 6, and that notice came only in reply to my confirmatory text last night at midnight.

I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't asked?

Only 2 more weeks...)

M.

[fishbrains]

Okay, I'll bite: What the f*ck did you think was going to happen?

[ciao_yall]

I wasn't telling everyone to shut up. I was just telling you to shut up.

[mamselle]

Unrelated to my previous note.^

"OK, I re-booked two things today to be sure I could still fit your lesson in."

Then you "forgot" and "went out to play with your friends in the snow and don't want to come in now"???????????

Thanks a bunch!!!

(And thanks, dad of kid who lets her do this! I just have one family like this, thankfully, and two the three are mostly fine, but one is a flaky-puff)

Oh, well, an hour of rest before the next one, who is reliable, and very good, and usually quite fun to teach.

M.

[bio-nonymous]

With your superpower to write flowery buttery fluff that is none-the-less accurate and on-point in your grant proposals, you should rethink this whole science PI thing as you would make a fortune in marketing or advertisement...

[FishProf]

[unrelated]

See that?  Right there?  THAT is why no one likes you.

[sinenomine]

Okay, faculty I supervise, half of whom have been here longer than I have, and the rest of whom have years of experience, why — why?? — are you incessantly emailing and texting me with basic questions about how to submit grades, how incompletes work, etc.? Nothing's changed!

[wareagle]

Okay, faculty I supervise, half of whom have been here longer than I have, and the rest of whom have years of experience, why — why?? — are you incessantly emailing and texting me with basic questions about how to submit grades, how incompletes work, etc.? Nothing's changed!

They're just baiting you.  They want to see if you really know these things.

[FishProf]

Just reply "Same as always".

[fishbrains]

Okay, faculty I supervise, half of whom have been here longer than I have, and the rest of whom have years of experience, why — why?? — are you incessantly emailing and texting me with basic questions about how to submit grades, how incompletes work, etc.? Nothing's changed!

They're just baiting you.  They want to see if you really know these things.

Also, small changes by an admin can significantly affect how these things play out. Answers to concerns like how to arrive at the students' last date of attendance in an internet course for financial aid purposes, how much work does a student need to have completed before an "I" will be approved up the line: all these things change a little with each admin.   

And, as wareeagle points out, they might be f*cking with you a little bit just for funzies as well. People have to get their fun where they can.

[polly_mer]

I, myself, asked the manager just today to put in writing that I am to spend the next year doing a thing that is the thing she told me for the past two years to never do.

It can be fun to work exactly to order and ask explicitly in writing to be told what the policies really are per the current mania for following everything to the letter in contrast to what the policies always have been in practice.

It can be fun to watch what happens when the consequences of exactly following a poorly written policy hits the practicalities.

[the_geneticist]

Okay, faculty I supervise, half of whom have been here longer than I have, and the rest of whom have years of experience, why — why?? — are you incessantly emailing and texting me with basic questions about how to submit grades, how incompletes work, etc.? Nothing's changed!

They're just baiting you.  They want to see if you really know these things.

Also, small changes by an admin can significantly affect how these things play out. Answers to concerns like how to arrive at the students' last date of attendance in an internet course for financial aid purposes, how much work does a student need to have completed before an "I" will be approved up the line: all these things change a little with each admin.   

And, as wareeagle points out, they might be f*cking with you a little bit just for funzies as well. People have to get their fun where they can.

Or they are hoping that you will just do it for them.
A colleague in a job similar to mine would just agonize over how things like uploading grades/downloading a saved gradebook/etc. were "so hard" for faculty and made it her job to personally train folks she worked with.  My thoughts?  1) They are clever enough to figure it out. and 2) Not my job to train them.  3) It's literally someone else's job to train them.  She will not be missed.

[Langue_doc]

Open access journal that is sending emails indiscriminately to each and every faculty in each and every institution, do you think anyone is going to take you seriously if your subject line is rife with punctuation errors? Or your sentences sounding like the result of Google translate? Couldn't you at least get rid of the slashes from the following: "Sub/mit Your Pap/ers to International Jou/rnals"? How about getting someone to edit your sentences so that you don't come across as some kind of telemarketing outfit? No reputable journal would include the following: "We also warmly welcome article contributions by this email." "We offer a fast publication service for the submitted manuscripts, which can greatly shorten the duration to transmit author's achievements among other scholars around the world." This one is even more hilarious" "Open Access (OA) is a practice that provides the no barrier access to the published journal papers. Hereby, all the academic individuals have the ability to view the papers issued in our platform."

[AmLitHist]

Open access journal that is sending emails indiscriminately to each and every faculty in each and every institution, do you think anyone is going to take you seriously if your subject line is rife with punctuation errors? Or your sentences sounding like the result of Google translate? Couldn't you at least get rid of the slashes from the following: "Sub/mit Your Pap/ers to International Jou/rnals"? How about getting someone to edit your sentences so that you don't come across as some kind of telemarketing outfit? No reputable journal would include the following: "We also warmly welcome article contributions by this email." "We offer a fast publication service for the submitted manuscripts, which can greatly shorten the duration to transmit author's achievements among other scholars around the world." This one is even more hilarious" "Open Access (OA) is a practice that provides the no barrier access to the published journal papers. Hereby, all the academic individuals have the ability to view the papers issued in our platform."

Huh.  It seems that at least one of my former Comp students actually did get a job.