the "things you wish you could say" thread

[mamselle]

Open access journal that is sending emails indiscriminately to each and every faculty in each and every institution, do you think anyone is going to take you seriously if your subject line is rife with punctuation errors? Or your sentences sounding like the result of Google translate? Couldn't you at least get rid of the slashes from the following: "Sub/mit Your Pap/ers to International Jou/rnals"? How about getting someone to edit your sentences so that you don't come across as some kind of telemarketing outfit? No reputable journal would include the following: "We also warmly welcome article contributions by this email." "We offer a fast publication service for the submitted manuscripts, which can greatly shorten the duration to transmit author's achievements among other scholars around the world." This one is even more hilarious" "Open Access (OA) is a practice that provides the no barrier access to the published journal papers. Hereby, all the academic individuals have the ability to view the papers issued in our platform."

Huh.  It seems that at least one of my former Comp students actually did get a job.

;--}

M.

[fishbrains]

Go away. I don't have the time to consider how to make your death look like an accident.

[science.expat]

Go away. I don't have the time to consider how to make your death look like an accident.

🙂

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

The election was not 'stolen!'

[FishProf]

Dude!  It's a holiday!  Why are you calling me TODAY?  The semester starts tomorrow in two weeks, so TOMORRROW will be plenty soon enough.  Yes, I am Chair, and yes, whatever this is about is my problem, BUT NOT TODAY!

Also, chance of being rehired next year is not helped by being a noodge.  Just Sayin'.

[the_geneticist]

Head Administrator Message 1: We'll be back to teaching fully in-person in Fall!  You will all need to be vaccinated.
Head Administrator Message 2: Campus will not be vaccinating you if you can work remotely.

Hmm. . .

[polly_mer]

To far more people than usual:

You are betting your literal life (or at least the middle-class-plus-first-world comfort part of it) that I am wrong in specific ways.  However, while you are quite, quite vocal about how you should be taken seriously, you are also not taking any of the actions that would help you thrive if you were correct about how I were wrong.

Thus, while you better pray to any god you hold dear that I'm right and you're wrong because that's a future situation from which you can recover, I am not going to take seriously someone who can't be bothered to even act on their own information and beliefs to be in a good position when the troubles come.  I can at least respect someone who acts on their beliefs and goes full out prepper living off the land or commits to the church by giving everything they have because money is unnecessary when God is your co-pilot. 

I have zero respect for someone who can't even be bothered to metaphorically get off the beach while lecturing me at length on how this is the beach on which the military will be making their landing to crush us all and sand is the devil.

[the_geneticist]

Head Administrator Message 1: We'll be back to teaching fully in-person in Fall!  You will all need to be vaccinated.
Head Administrator Message 2: Campus will not be vaccinating you if you can work remotely.

Hmm. . .

Realized I forgot to finish my thought!

What I wish I could say "Are you kidding me?!?  That's the 'plan'.  At what point do I say I'm no longer working remotely?  The day before Fall classes?  This is going to be chaos and old night.  An absolute disaster."

[FishProf]

Dear Assistant Dean,
Thanks for the lecture you gave me about Hyflex in front of all the Senior Administrators.  I want to especially thank you for being TOTALLY WRONG.  It felt good for all your superiors to side with me, an actually Professor, about what TEACHING is like (considering YOU have never done any).
Fishprof

[mamselle]

It would have been lovely to have been a fly (or an Archaeopteryx) on the wall for that!

M.

[FishProf]

It would have been lovely to have been a fly (or an Archaeopteryx) on the wall for that!

It was.

The public apology was sweeter.

[Cheerful]

It would have been lovely to have been a fly (or an Archaeopteryx) on the wall for that!

It was.

The public apology was sweeter.

A slap down of an administrator for the record books!

[teach_write_research]

Stop with the f-ing messages that ask me to reassure you that you understand the instructions. Yes, when I say read Chapter 2 I mean read. Chapter. 2. Same as read Chapter 1 meant read. Chapter. 1. Just submit the assignment. There is no purpose in submitting the assignment and sending me a message that you submitted the assignment and asking me to confirm that I can see the assignment in the LMS.

Every assignment. 2-3 messages. Doing the intervention over video chat is going to be awkward.

[Harlow2]

A 5-hour meeting?  Online?  5 hours????  maybe I can get some data analysis done. 

[apl68]

People here in Flyover Country do read the New York Times, believe it or not.  Which means that we notice when we receive only half the issues that we've paid for in the past month, and none in the past week.