the "things you wish you could say" thread

[AmLitHist]

Stop with the f-ing messages that ask me to reassure you that you understand the instructions. Yes, when I say read Chapter 2 I mean read. Chapter. 2. Same as read Chapter 1 meant read. Chapter. 1. Just submit the assignment. There is no purpose in submitting the assignment and sending me a message that you submitted the assignment and asking me to confirm that I can see the assignment in the LMS.

Every assignment. 2-3 messages. Doing the intervention over video chat is going to be awkward.

I have about three of these so far.  The Big Smackdown is coming soon; I'm trying to wait until I'm not so ticked off to administer it a little more kindly.

[FishProf]

We have a department POLICY that we all agreed to.  Why did you tell three students that you would override the requirements when 1) We don't do that, 2) YOU don't get to override anything, and 3) these are all marginal students. 

Making an exception for an excellent student in unusual circumstances?  Maybe.  They could probably handle it.  The student who didn't get the C- to move one (got a D- instead) - BAD, BAD IDEA.

So, NO.  They can't.  (Why it is what I WISH I could say) - Provost overrode me.  Based on what professor said to student. 

[jimbogumbo]

This is a joke, right?

[teach_write_research]

Stop with the f-ing messages that ask me to reassure you that you understand the instructions. Yes, when I say read Chapter 2 I mean read. Chapter. 2. Same as read Chapter 1 meant read. Chapter. 1. Just submit the assignment. There is no purpose in submitting the assignment and sending me a message that you submitted the assignment and asking me to confirm that I can see the assignment in the LMS.

Every assignment. 2-3 messages. Doing the intervention over video chat is going to be awkward.

I have about three of these so far.  The Big Smackdown is coming soon; I'm trying to wait until I'm not so ticked off to administer it a little more kindly.

Exactly.

[Cheerful]

Stop with the f-ing messages that ask me to reassure you that you understand the instructions. Yes, when I say read Chapter 2 I mean read. Chapter. 2. Same as read Chapter 1 meant read. Chapter. 1. Just submit the assignment. There is no purpose in submitting the assignment and sending me a message that you submitted the assignment and asking me to confirm that I can see the assignment in the LMS.

Every assignment. 2-3 messages. Doing the intervention over video chat is going to be awkward.

I have about three of these so far.  The Big Smackdown is coming soon; I'm trying to wait until I'm not so ticked off to administer it a little more kindly.

Is it possible that some of these students have a disorder of some kind, like OCD or something?

[fishbrains]

Stop with the f-ing messages that ask me to reassure you that you understand the instructions. Yes, when I say read Chapter 2 I mean read. Chapter. 2. Same as read Chapter 1 meant read. Chapter. 1. Just submit the assignment. There is no purpose in submitting the assignment and sending me a message that you submitted the assignment and asking me to confirm that I can see the assignment in the LMS.

Every assignment. 2-3 messages. Doing the intervention over video chat is going to be awkward.

I have about three of these so far.  The Big Smackdown is coming soon; I'm trying to wait until I'm not so ticked off to administer it a little more kindly.

Is it possible that some of these students have a disorder of some kind, like OCD or something?

I am finding that some non-faculty advisors and tutors have been telling students that they should ask some of these things (like to ask the professor to check to see if a submission is in the dropbox folder if they aren't sure). I finally did a short video showing students how to check for their own submissions, and I refer students there.

I imagine it's a little unnerving for students to be thrust into multiple internet courses. I teach mostly freshizzles and sophomores. The more advanced the students, the more I would want to lay a bit of a smackdown for the silliness. I've never been good at group smackdowns though. 

[teach_write_research]

I counted and Dear Student is up to 36 messages since classes started on Jan 11. This is wayyyy out of the norm.

I am totally cool with where do I find and how do I questions. I've got a slew of LMS links prepped and ready to deploy, and often include those with the assignments. fishbrains is correct to remind me of that reasonable amount of support. Absolutely.

I do suspect anxiety or adhd or ocd or something that is compelling them to ask me everything that crosses their mind. I'm going to do a short check-in to the student support person.

Stop with the f-ing messages that ask me to reassure you that you understand the instructions. Yes, when I say read Chapter 2 I mean read. Chapter. 2. Same as read Chapter 1 meant read. Chapter. 1. Just submit the assignment. There is no purpose in submitting the assignment and sending me a message that you submitted the assignment and asking me to confirm that I can see the assignment in the LMS.

Every assignment. 2-3 messages. Doing the intervention over video chat is going to be awkward.

I have about three of these so far.  The Big Smackdown is coming soon; I'm trying to wait until I'm not so ticked off to administer it a little more kindly.

Is it possible that some of these students have a disorder of some kind, like OCD or something?

I am finding that some non-faculty advisors and tutors have been telling students that they should ask some of these things (like to ask the professor to check to see if a submission is in the dropbox folder if they aren't sure). I finally did a short video showing students how to check for their own submissions, and I refer students there.

I imagine it's a little unnerving for students to be thrust into multiple internet courses. I teach mostly freshizzles and sophomores. The more advanced the students, the more I would want to lay a bit of a smackdown for the silliness. I've never been good at group smackdowns though. 

[AvidReader]

I don't know what LMS you use, but mine (Moodle) automatically sends students an email after each successful submission. I tell them that if they have the submission email, they are good to go.

AR.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Stop with the f-ing messages that ask me to reassure you that you understand the instructions. Yes, when I say read Chapter 2 I mean read. Chapter. 2. Same as read Chapter 1 meant read. Chapter. 1. Just submit the assignment. There is no purpose in submitting the assignment and sending me a message that you submitted the assignment and asking me to confirm that I can see the assignment in the LMS.

Every assignment. 2-3 messages. Doing the intervention over video chat is going to be awkward.

I have about three of these so far.  The Big Smackdown is coming soon; I'm trying to wait until I'm not so ticked off to administer it a little more kindly.

Is it possible that some of these students have a disorder of some kind, like OCD or something?

It could be an overly anxious student. I've had a few and I can empathize. It can be frustrating, but if it's anxiety, they really can't help it. If there were an 'off button' for anxiety, there would be a lot of happier people out there.

[hmaria1609]

Argh, call it quits on this online meeting now! Some of us have to help close our branch libraries for the day...

[Vkw10]

Provost, you're behaving like my most irritating students, sending 14 emails about a non-urgent matter over the weekend. It's due on Friday, so stop nagging.

[San Joaquin]

Dear Colleague,

You just flawlessly demonstrated the exact behavior you were kvetching about at the beginning of this interesting conversation.  Also, you appear to be trying to manipulate me.  I'm sure that's not the impression you meant to make, bless your heart.

[fishbrains]

I can be both apathetic and angry at the same time. It's my f*cking superpower.

[polly_mer]

Stop ending presentations with an all-but-blank "Any questions?" slide!

Leave up the summary slide with the references, websites, your contact info, and other useful information while you wait for questions!

You are not making one of your first professional presentations as a master's student.  Your job, as a mid-career program manager, is giving presentations to a variety of audiences who want to know or need the information for their jobs.

Why, then, have the last five seminars ended this way?!  How have you not had to take the internal presentation trainings that emphasize a strong finish?!

[science.expat]

Stop ending presentations with an all-but-blank "Any questions?" slide!

Leave up the summary slide with the references, websites, your contact info, and other useful information while you wait for questions!

You are not making one of your first professional presentations as a master's student.  Your job, as a mid-career program manager, is giving presentations to a variety of audiences who want to know or need the information for their jobs.

Why, then, have the last five seminars ended this way?!  How have you not had to take the internal presentation trainings that emphasize a strong finish?!

I'd bet that the person is using the institution's template...