the "things you wish you could say" thread

[mamselle]

Ye-ouch.

Been there, been on the other side of that divide a couple of times myself.

Not fun. Sorry you're having to deal with the fallout (which often taints everyone else and leaves the unethical schmuck looking pretty, somehow).

It must be the smoke-and-mirrors thing.

M.

[dr_codex]

It's a Starfish thing.

I don't really care about it since this is a school with a lot of problems. I was trying to find their academic calendar for this semester and I found that they don't have one posted online. They have a lot of students who don't do any work. I think they are pretty concerned about re-accreditation.

I've decided to focus on the students who do good work and devote little of my time to the students who shouldn't be in college.

Ah, Starfish.

So many promises, made in your name.
So many hours, filling in your forms.
So little effect, all in your name.

Your link lives on in our CMS. Unclicked. Unchecked. Unused.

What a waste.

dc

[Langue_doc]

Are you so clueless as to think that Penn Station was named after a neighboring state? Just one more instance of trying to convince your constituents that you are not your predecessor.

She said she thought the station should be renamed, possibly after a New Yorker, rather than for a "neighboring state." In fact, the station was named for its original owner, the Pennsylvania Railroad Company, which operated until 1968.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/04/nyregion/eric-adams-nyc-mayor-agenda.html

ETA: Here is the next paragraph:

The renaming idea prompted suggestions on Twitter that included Shirley Chisholm; Dr. Zizmor, of the famed subway skin-care advertisements; the Naked Cowboy, a habitué of Times Square; Andrew Cuomo, her predecessor; his father, Mario Cuomo, the governor from 1983 to 1994; and "If Hell Had a Hell Station."

My favorite is the last one; second favorite, Dr. Zizmor.

[ab_grp]

And there's also Newark Penn Station.  Everyone wants to be Pennsylvania, I guess! It is the best state in the area. (ha)

[cathwen]

Are you so clueless as to think that Penn Station was named after a neighboring state? Just one more instance of trying to convince your constituents that you are not your predecessor.

She said she thought the station should be renamed, possibly after a New Yorker, rather than for a "neighboring state." In fact, the station was named for its original owner, the Pennsylvania Railroad Company, which operated until 1968.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/04/nyregion/eric-adams-nyc-mayor-agenda.html

ETA: Here is the next paragraph:

The renaming idea prompted suggestions on Twitter that included Shirley Chisholm; Dr. Zizmor, of the famed subway skin-care advertisements; the Naked Cowboy, a habitué of Times Square; Andrew Cuomo, her predecessor; his father, Mario Cuomo, the governor from 1983 to 1994; and "If Hell Had a Hell Station."

My favorite is the last one; second favorite, Dr. Zizmor.

I vote for Dr. Zizmor! 

[FishProf]

Rename it after Penn Jillette.  He's at least BEEN in New York.

[sinenomine]

So you just went bat-[bleep] ballistic and sent vituperative emails all over campus about something that turned out to be a typo. Wouldn't it have been advisable to check if it was a typo before spreading angst all over the place??

[apl68]

I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings yesterday, staff member.  If I failed to phrase things as diplomatically as I could, then I apologize.  Nonetheless, I did not use any sort of threatening or insulting language, and I was addressing behavior on your part that needed addressing.  Hurt feelings or not, your storming out of my office and out of the building, and not listening to the rest of what I was trying to say, was thoroughly unprofessional.  It ruined my day and had me reproaching myself.  Until I realized that I am, after all, the boss, and nothing that I did excused your behavior.  I could have ordered you to go home until you cooled off for pulling something like that.

I've since learned that you have extended your tendency to say things that are not on good authority to telling part-time staff members that they were in danger of being laid off.  Which is simply an outright lie.  I could have fired you for saying something that out of line!  I haven't done so yet because I know you're not having an easy time of it, and you have a past history of valued service.  But you and I and the assistant director will soon sit down and have an intervention.  And you will listen to what we have to say.

BTW, Assistant Director pointed out to me that when you came in briefly to collect your paycheck (Since you're normally off on payday), and had a phone call that kept you from speaking to me while I handed you the check, she didn't hear the phone ring or vibrate before you pulled it out.  Neither did I.  It sure looks like you took a spurious "call" to avoid talking to me while I gave you your pay.  We don't need behavior like that either.  You're rapidly losing my trust.  And that makes me sad, because you were once one of our most trusted staff members.

[mamselle]

All good thoughts. Difficult all 'round.

M.

[dr_codex]

I know that your office is busy, and that COVID has hit you hard. But we're all just asking for an updated spreadsheet, which contains information that is vital to the operations of the entire institution. If you don't have the data compiled, you have to have it somewhere. Task somebody in your office -- it would take 5 minutes to import the information, even if somebody had to key it in. Heck, it would take 10 to recreate the whole spreadsheet.

I have a bad feeling that somebody's going to lose a job over this, and I'm damned if it's going to be me.

[Parasaurolophus]

You teach critical thinking in our department and yet you think that article gives a good sense of what those commitments look like in practice? 0_o Are you stupid, or is this just motivated reasoning on your part? The guy tanked his own funding proposal and then cried to the media about it. If you don't complete your funding application, it doesn't get forwarded for review. End of story. How do you not know that? His anecdote is no kind of data.


Actually, I will say it. Minus the disparaging tone and the insults. But fuck me if you haven't fallen far in my estimation. I don't actually mind that you're against these commitments (you're hardly alone in the department), but if you seriously think that article was worth sharing with the rest of us, then man am I glad you're retired and only teaching a couple courses. Your students are better off without you.

[ergative]

Berkeley is not the same as San Francisco.

Scotland is not the same as England.

Residency is not the same as citizenship.

[ergative]

Goodness, I'm grumpy these days.

Elder relative, I'm thrilled that your self-published children's books are now available for purchase. Good for you for pursuing your dream. But they look really, really, really awful. The artwork is bland and generic (you should have hired my sister to do the illustrations; she's a much better artist than the person you got, and has a real style to her work); the poetry of the text, which I assume is what you wrote, is doggerel; and the didactic message of the plot is preachy and tiresome. (But harmless, at least. You haven't gone down that rabbit hole, thank goodness.)

I will never say these things to your face. I love you and do not want to hurt you. But every time you send an email announcing that your next self-published book is available for purchase, I wince inside. And the only way I can soothe my guilt for these thoughts is by imagining a world in which I write and publish an epic SFF trilogy, full of dragon wizards piloting spaceships through wormholes, and remind myself that, in that world, you will be similarly unenthusiastic about my work.

[smallcleanrat]

Goodness, I'm grumpy these days.

Elder relative, I'm thrilled that your self-published children's books are now available for purchase. Good for you for pursuing your dream. But they look really, really, really awful. The artwork is bland and generic (you should have hired my sister to do the illustrations; she's a much better artist than the person you got, and has a real style to her work); the poetry of the text, which I assume is what you wrote, is doggerel; and the didactic message of the plot is preachy and tiresome. (But harmless, at least. You haven't gone down that rabbit hole, thank goodness.)

I will never say these things to your face. I love you and do not want to hurt you. But every time you send an email announcing that your next self-published book is available for purchase, I wince inside. And the only way I can soothe my guilt for these thoughts is by imagining a world in which I write and publish an epic SFF trilogy, full of dragon wizards piloting spaceships through wormholes, and remind myself that, in that world, you will be similarly unenthusiastic about my work.

Now, I'm curious. What's the message?

[ergative]

Goodness, I'm grumpy these days.

Elder relative, I'm thrilled that your self-published children's books are now available for purchase. Good for you for pursuing your dream. But they look really, really, really awful. The artwork is bland and generic (you should have hired my sister to do the illustrations; she's a much better artist than the person you got, and has a real style to her work); the poetry of the text, which I assume is what you wrote, is doggerel; and the didactic message of the plot is preachy and tiresome. (But harmless, at least. You haven't gone down that rabbit hole, thank goodness.)

I will never say these things to your face. I love you and do not want to hurt you. But every time you send an email announcing that your next self-published book is available for purchase, I wince inside. And the only way I can soothe my guilt for these thoughts is by imagining a world in which I write and publish an epic SFF trilogy, full of dragon wizards piloting spaceships through wormholes, and remind myself that, in that world, you will be similarly unenthusiastic about my work.

Now, I'm curious. What's the message?

Oh something about kids being patient while waiting for adults to do their boring shopping, and something about adults not getting so caught up in crass materialism during the holiday season that they neglect to play with their kids.