the "things you wish you could say" thread

[mamselle]

Bears repeating, although these days not much in-store shopping happens--they're on their phones.

Which might in itself be an interesting transfer if they've made the leap (but I'm guessing they didn't).

As you say, could be worse, but I hear you on the poetry and the artwork.

People seem to think kids should just take whatever's given them in those departments.

It's seeing and hearing quality work from the outset that tunes their ears and hones their eyes to appreciate nuance and critical balance.

(No corporeal investment here, of course...)

M.

[apl68]

Goodness, I'm grumpy these days.

Elder relative, I'm thrilled that your self-published children's books are now available for purchase. Good for you for pursuing your dream. But they look really, really, really awful. The artwork is bland and generic (you should have hired my sister to do the illustrations; she's a much better artist than the person you got, and has a real style to her work); the poetry of the text, which I assume is what you wrote, is doggerel; and the didactic message of the plot is preachy and tiresome. (But harmless, at least. You haven't gone down that rabbit hole, thank goodness.)

I will never say these things to your face. I love you and do not want to hurt you. But every time you send an email announcing that your next self-published book is available for purchase, I wince inside. And the only way I can soothe my guilt for these thoughts is by imagining a world in which I write and publish an epic SFF trilogy, full of dragon wizards piloting spaceships through wormholes, and remind myself that, in that world, you will be similarly unenthusiastic about my work.

Some years ago our state had a pair of remarkably industrious self-publishers of this sort who put out entire shelves full of self-published children's books of the sort you describe in color.  They must have spent altogether tens of thousands of dollars on printing them.  I'm not kidding about the part about shelves full, either.  My predecessor at the library, before she retired, became enamored of their work and bought copies of everything they had, until we had a mini-section of whole shelves in the children's area dedicated to their work.  I wonder whether any other libraries in state had that many.  The authors' hearts where in the right place, but the work was rather amateurish and aimed at a very different generation.  At their peak I suspect they were knocking out new works every couple of weeks (Like James Patterson, but without the whole factory of collaborators).

Several years into my tenure here, I determined that the books weren't circulating and began withdrawing them to make space.  Though I doubt anybody particularly missed them, I felt sad to toss so many well-produced, but little-used, books.  They represented an awful lot of effort and investment, for probably not a great deal of return.  I guess the artist-writer team is still at it--you can find their works easily online.  Reportedly they've put out 400 titles!

[apl68]

I wanted to let my niece know about Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, so that she could enroll her new baby in it.  So I looked up the Imagination Library in your parish.  They said they aren't taking any new applicants due to lack of funds. 

You have over ten times the population of our little rural county, and only half as many enrollees in Imagination Library?  Hundreds of thousands of people, and you can only manage between yourselves to scrape together enough money for a couple hundred kids to participate in a fantastic early literacy program that only costs $25 per child?  Your whole state only has a few thousand enrolled, even though it has more people than our state does!  Don't you even care whether your state's children know how to read?  This is why your state has a reputation as a Third World country, even among states like ours who are hardly rich by U.S. standards.

I guess I could think of some choice invective here, but I'm just too sad.  $25 per child for a proven, cost-effective early literacy program, yet that's too much for you.  It's like a whole state where people just don't care.

[mamselle]

Wow. I hear your frustration.

That is sad.

M.

[Harlow2]

Unrelated.  I know you didn't choose to be a co-chair charge of this committee, and I later was asked to be the other because of my standing here. But I can't see that you've done anything, this is time-sensitive, and you are not answering my emails. I don't want to have to take over, but you aren't leaving me much choice. Is that the idea?

[hmaria1609]

Thanks for leaving your book donations on the ground by our exterior book drop!  The posted sign "No Donations Accepted At This Location" means nothing to you. Kumquat!

[Langue_doc]

To our state and city elected officials: get your heads out of your xxxxs and pay attention to the coronavirus surge in the city and state. At least two colleges have either gone online or drastically reduced on-campus events because of the increasing numbers of positive cases https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/15/nyregion/nyu-events-canceled-covid.html. In addition, some restaurants are closing and others are likely to follow because their workers are testing positive. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/15/nyregion/nyu-events-canceled-covid.html

Do people wear masks in public places? Nooo. Are those "masks required" signs enforced? Noooo! Do they even care? No, they're both in the running for the upcoming elections so they aren't about to alienate their constituents.

[apl68]

Thanks for leaving your book donations on the ground by our exterior book drop!  The posted sign "No Donations Accepted At This Location" means nothing to you. Kumquat!

Thank you for leaving us with two shelves' worth of donated books that are so physically dirty I feel like wearing gloves just to toss them into the dumpster.  How in the world do books get that filthy, anyway?  Have they spent the last several years up under an open carport?

[hmaria1609]

Thank you for leaving us with two shelves' worth of donated books that are so physically dirty I feel like wearing gloves just to toss them into the dumpster.  How in the world do books get that filthy, anyway?  Have they spent the last several years up under an open carport?

Update: the 2 boxes still remain on the curb.  No plans by us library staff to do anything with them.  *Wicked grin*

Also, there was a message on the neighborhood listserv from a guy who does an ongoing book drive so it's a helpful tip to us staff.

[apl68]

Thank you for leaving us with two shelves' worth of donated books that are so physically dirty I feel like wearing gloves just to toss them into the dumpster.  How in the world do books get that filthy, anyway?  Have they spent the last several years up under an open carport?

Update: the 2 boxes still remain on the curb.  No plans by us library staff to do anything with them.  *Wicked grin*

Also, there was a message on the neighborhood listserv from a guy who does an ongoing book drive so it's a helpful tip to us staff.

Meanwhile, I've tossed those dirty books.  And given my hands a good wash afterward.

[FishProf]

Yes, student, I agree.  Your grade on your presentation does not reflect the quality.

Your presentation was worse.

Thank you for exposing a flaw in my rubric.

[mahagonny]

Yes, student, I agree.  Your grade on your presentation does not reflect the quality.

Your presentation was worse.

Thank you for exposing a flaw in my rubric.

Yes, been there, done that, as well I think when you're asked to explain how you calculated a grade already awarded, you should. But if there's a formal appeal, you should have the option to reenter the grade either lower or higher.

[FishProf]

She was sent the rubric when I graded her presentation. 

She knows why, she just doesn't like it.

I need to add a minimum standards piece to the rubric, as at least 2 students failed utterly to do an appropriate presentation, but still got points because....well, I didn't anticipate such dreck.

My poster rubric, however, handled dreck magnificently.

[ab_grp]

Dear journal: Who has time to peruse the 131 (without hyperbole!) entries in this volume?! Even just their titles? Gadzooks! 

[sinenomine]

Dear colleague: First, you ignored the deadline for getting required paperwork completed. Then you emailed me at 8:30 pm on New Year's Eve about that paperwork. Finally, you ignored the response that I sent you (on New Year's Eve night, mind you) for five more days before finally getting to the now egregiously overdue paperwork. Really? Is your aim to inconvenience as many people as possible??