the "things you wish you could say" thread

[FishProf]

You are making it so unpleasant to do any work with your office that we are about to cancel ALL the international trips.  You know, the ONE THING you do at the U.

How do you think that is gonna go, Skippy?

[EdnaMode]

Dear [three students out of fifty in today's two lab sections],

It's miraculous how you found a way to get to class, in the snow, up hill, both ways, when I responded to your emails with, "Yes, campus is open. Yes, we're still having the lab practical today. No, you can't take it later at a time of your choosing." And guess what? I can tell if you live on campus by looking at your local address in our student info system. And if I can make it to campus, and the students who live out of town can make it to campus, you can walk across campus and take your practical.

All the best,

Dr. Mode

[apl68]

To Whoever Sent That Mail We Got At Work Today,

Your envelope was marked "Timely Material, Open Immediately."  Yet it bore the name of a previous librarian who retired seventeen years ago. 

I concluded that it wasn't as urgent as you were making out, and consigned it to File 13.

[the_geneticist]

Dear Technology folks,
I know you are frustrated that instructors are dragging their feet on transitioning from [old LMS] to [new LMS].  Yes, you've been sending reminders.  Yes, you offer workshops/trainings/drop in hours/etc.  But your timing of WHEN to make this switch is dreadful.  We are in a pandemic!  Folks have had to make last minute (and I mean, less than 2 weeks notice) scrambles to get their classes online.  Twice!!
Maybe you could:
1) calm down
2) realize most folks do not care what LMS they use if all they post is a syllabus
3) give folks more time

And it's NOT my job to teach other instructors how to use [new LMS].  That's YOUR JOB.  I'll do more if you pay me to do more.  Or if I can list it as an official service to the college.  But I'm not volunteering.
Kisses!

[fishbrains]

Student: You are literally getting mad at me because you keep missing class. I can send you the material we covered, but I can't recreate the understanding of the material we arrived at in class. "Hybrid" does NOT mean optional attendance for class meetings.

In-law person: Being on "the disability" gives you too much free time to create unneeded family drama. Knock it off, or people will quit talking to you altogether.

A-hole parent: You just suck.

Come on, people. It's only Wednesday!

[waterboy]

I can send you the material we covered, but I can't recreate the understanding of the material we arrived at in class. "Hybrid" does NOT mean optional attendance for class meetings.

This.  1000x

[dr_evil]

To almost everyone right now: "F*** it all! I'm sick of it."

Yeah, that was horribly vague, but who doesn't want to say that at times?

[FishProf]

These forms are f'ing useless.  If you need each faculty member to tell you what they are teaching, what is the  scheduling software for?  If you can look it up and correct us, but not correct the form, why do you need us to fill out the form?  Just do it your damn self.

[the_geneticist]

Does sick leave cover "I'm sick of this nonsense!"?
Asking for a friend . . . .

[Harlow2]

Friend, you are alienating us with your awful posts and texts about another friend. Whatever is going on please stop and get some help in sorting this out.

[AmLitHist]

Does sick leave cover "I'm sick of this nonsense!"?
Asking for a friend . . . .

It does here.  I'm taking Friday as an "illness and fatigue" (sick and tired of the BS) day. Only one more week til spring break, but I need a day off NOW, and so do my students.

[sinenomine]

To Colleague #1: Your over the top enthusiasm about a task that all the other faculty find rote and annoying makes you sound like a demented game show contestant; so no, I don't need you to share your very discipline-specific methods and waste time in a short meeting.

To Colleague #2: You've been working here for years. Reflect on all the mentoring and training you've received, figure out how to do our job, and quit running to me constantly to ask how to do it. It's what you get paid for.

[paultuttle]

Does sick leave cover "I'm sick of this nonsense!"?
Asking for a friend . . . .

It does here.  I'm taking Friday as an "illness and fatigue" (sick and tired of the BS) day. Only one more week til spring break, but I need a day off NOW, and so do my students.

Agreed. It's also called a "mental health day." Just say "I'm out sick today" and don't explain any further. If someone pries, just say "I don't feel well," which is entirely truthful, but doesn't require you to go into all of the details (which aren't their business, anyway).

Just my $0.02.

[science.expat]

Does sick leave cover "I'm sick of this nonsense!"?
Asking for a friend . . . .

It does here.  I'm taking Friday as an "illness and fatigue" (sick and tired of the BS) day. Only one more week til spring break, but I need a day off NOW, and so do my students.

Agreed. It's also called a "mental health day." Just say "I'm out sick today" and don't explain any further. If someone pries, just say "I don't feel well," which is entirely truthful, but doesn't require you to go into all of the details (which aren't their business, anyway).

Just my $0.02.

Another name is 'wellness day'.

[sinenomine]

Unrelated ^

Do you have the slightest idea how annoying it was for me to spend a good part of my weekend doing work that you've known about for almost a year but didn't complete by the deadline??