the "things you wish you could say" thread

[Larimar]

Students, the QUARTER is OVER! LEAVE ME ALONE!

In fact, WORLD, LEAVE ME ALONE and let me take care of the long list of things I need to do that I've had to put off for too long because more urgent things cut to the front of the line! AND STOP ADDING TO THE LIST!

[AmLitHist]

I don't care what anybody (especially you) says:  you did not "just happen" to transfer in from another campus and be named chair.

You aren't going to bully me into quitting, and I'm not scared of you. I know BoT policy, the union contract, and ADA inside and out, while you openly admit you don't know or care about any of them.

Bring it on, b*tch.  I'm not the one, and I'm not in the mood. I didn't file a grievance yesterday because I think I made you understand my position loud and clear. Try me again and see how long it takes for you get get served with a hostile environment grievance--I dare you.

What I DID say: 

(1) You do not get to go behind my back and promise my snowflake student that you can get me to regrade his crappy D paper into an A or B. No, I won't do it just so you don't have to go back to the student and admit you f*cked up. Professional courtesy and college policy do matter.

(2) You were not "helping" me, since I "have an ADA accommodation," which is completely irrelevant to the student situation (and the details of which medical condition are only known to me, the dean, and HR, and are none of your business); and

(3) I am not and should not "be thankful" to you for "giving" me a good schedule for fall--you didn't give me a damned thing. The ADA mandates that schedule, not the college, and sure as hell not you, and it's not like I'm getting something for free in any event.

I'm not interested in making enemies, because I honestly just don't care enough, but I'm also damned if some Admin-planted twit is going to come in and tell me how to run my classes and then expect me to kiss her ass on top of it. 

Nope.

[downer]

AmLitHist, Sounds really annoying. Power to you in standing your ground.

[paultuttle]

AmLitHist, Sounds really annoying. Power to you in standing your ground.

Seconded.

[ergative]

You probably shouldn't have done what you just did, and judging from the way you closed the door before broaching the subject and kept the whole conversation off email you know it too. But you did it to help me and the only person it hurts is the faceless system in charge of holding the hoops I must jump through, so I'm not going to say anything. But although you acted in kindness and I'll benefit from it, I'm going to lost just a tiny bit of respect for you because of it, and that makes me a little bit sad.

[mamselle]

AmLitHist, Sounds really annoying. Power to you in standing your ground.

Seconded.

Third.

Is there a special sub-department in your school just dedicated to torturing select faculty?

That would explain a lot...

M.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Unrelated.

Please stop complaining. Just stop. Take a moment and talk about something pleasant for once. Please.

[bio-nonymous]

Unrelated.

Please stop complaining. Just stop. Take a moment and talk about something pleasant for once. Please.

Even though you weren't talking to me--I am taking your advice to heart! It is easy to whine and moan about all the injustices, but positivity is certainly better for all of us. Next time I start to complain I hope I remember this...

[secundem_artem]

So when you don't hear me, it's because I mumble, but when I don't hear you, it's because I'm not listening.  Do I have that right???

[downer]

Dear colleague

You seem kinda needy for conversation. To the extent that I rush past your office to avoid getting caught up in conversation with you.

What the fuck is up with you? Maybe you should find something to keep you busy. Don't you have any work to do?

[sinenomine]

To my townhouse neighbor: I understand that you like to clean the dried leaves and twigs out of your garden. However, when you simply shovel everything into my garden, I'm just going to move it back to yours. Take it to the mulch pile!

[mamselle]

To my townhouse neighbor: I understand that you like to clean the dried leaves and twigs out of your garden. However, when you simply shovel everything into my garden, I'm just going to move it back to yours. Take it to the mulch pile!

Serious P-A response: Put it all in a plastic bag with a little sign, "You lost something," and put it on their doorstep....

;--}

M.

[sinenomine]

To my townhouse neighbor: I understand that you like to clean the dried leaves and twigs out of your garden. However, when you simply shovel everything into my garden, I'm just going to move it back to yours. Take it to the mulch pile!

Serious P-A response: Put it all in a plastic bag with a little sign, "You lost something," and put it on their doorstep....

;--}

M.

Within minutes of her coming home today, she picked up everything and took it to the mulch pile. :)

[mamselle]

Whew! Crisis averted.

M.

[downer]

Dear Dept Chair

So you won't schedule me for fall online classes because the school LMS is changing to a different system and I'm not certified to teach in that system. But no one else is, and the school has not even offered training in the new system yet. And as it happens, I'm already familiar with that system having used it at a different school for 5 years. Are you scheduling anyone else for online classes or is it just me? Because no one else will be certified either. You have to schedule online courses now. Are you going to leave them all unstaffed?

By the way, you do know, right, that this transition of LMS is bound to be a total clusterfuck. Your IT dept is not very helpful now, and I know the help facility of the new LMS because I've used it. I got a response to my inquiry 3 weeks after making it. It is not going to go well. Since the school relies about 75% on adjunct faculty, and many are going to be too busy to take training for the new LMS, you are going to be totally screwed with your online offerings. Will the school be requiring student to take a training to sign up for online courses? I bet not. So, to be honest, you might be doing me a favor if you don't schedule me for the fall.

Another thing. Retire already.