Humor and Wisdom in a time of Plague...(w/apologies to D. Defoe)

[mamselle]

I had to look them up--never heard of them before.

I can see the usefulness--a friend once got very upset because I let a few hairs fall to the floor when he asked me to even up a small ducktail the barber had left that he didn't want.

I'd never realized the level of his compulsions for neatness until then.

He was REALLY upset--I was surprised.

M.

[mamselle]

Double post at an interval of 4 days...!

I can't recall if I've posted this here or elsewhere before, or not, but I just find it heartening and joyful:

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSlWDlXCelk

M.

[Nightshade]

Bidet sales improving significantly: https://www.dailywire.com/news/some-americans-are-starting-to-give-up-on-toilet-paper-literally

[alto_stratus]

Ah, the Flowbee...

I am getting to use the clipper skills I developed in college.  Gotta keep my isolation buddy looking decent. 

[apl68]

Saw evidence while out walking that a local school had been "rolled" with TP.  I guess the shortage must not be THAT bad any longer, at least not locally.  The advantage of living in a town where they make it.

[Anselm]

China state media releases Once Upon a Virus.

https://youtu.be/Q5BZ09iNdvo

[Economizer]

Description of Covid19 Inflation:

You drive to a store, put on your mask, and, then, when you enter you get held up.

[ This joke may need some work. The elements for humor are there; however, I am unsure as to whether there is widespread increase in prices.]

[Anselm]

Description of Covid19 Inflation:

You drive to a store, put on your mask, and, then, when you enter you get held up.

[ This joke may need some work. The elements for humor are there; however, I am unsure as to whether there is widespread increase in prices.]

Yes, food has jumped in price, especially beef.   Oh, and I hope none of you thought that cheap gasoline was going to be permanent.  It is already inching up.  Hopefully we won't need wheelbarrows of cash to buy bread.

Your joke in progress does not seem to work well in text format.  You need an experienced comedian to use the right delivery to solicit laughs from an audience. 

[Economizer]

Description of Covid19 Inflation:

You drive to a store, put on your mask, and, then, when you enter you get held up.

[ This joke may need some work. The elements for humor are there; however, I am unsure as to whether there is widespread increase in prices.]

Yes, food has jumped in price, especially beef.   Oh, and I hope none of you thought that cheap gasoline was going to be permanent.  It is already inching up.  Hopefully we won't need wheelbarrows of cash to buy bread.

Your joke in progress does not seem to work well in text format.  You need an experienced comedian to use the right delivery to solicit laughs from an audience.

Anselm: Do you know it costs to get a pro comedian. Most of them make thousands of
dollars a week by dropping the f-bomb and deriding our leaders. Screw that! And, thank you so much.

[Economizer]

Hmmm..maybe my jokes are too long? So,
INVESTMENT TIPS:


1. VEAL FUTURES.

2. ANY AGRICULTURAL PHARMACEUTICAL CONCERN THAT DEVELOPS AND DISTRIBUTES BOVINE APHRODISIACS.

3. DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING MARKET MAVENS MIGHT MENTION AT MIDDAY
UNLESS IT IS TRUE.

(Sent via Android, sheesh!)

[Economizer]

In my previous post, I failed to remember that Male and Female bovine need not to "wanna do it". Perhaps I still have a "70's mindset about steer reproduction. And, so much for contented cows!

[Economizer]

While I have the stage, I might as well change the subject to
RAMEN!!!
You all have probably noticed that there is a shortage of inexpensive,
cellophane wrapped, flavored ramen product in stores.  Not to digress, too far, I suppose that European merchants visiting the far east carried with them in their provisions pasta items which in their speech they called spaghetti. The natives of the Asian lands quickly grew to love the stuff; however, they could not pronounce the word spaghetti (it's still the case! Tell you what, if you are proximate to a person with Asian features, get them to say "spagetti" twice in a short sentence. They cannot do it!) so they began to call it Ramen ( a slight variation of the word "roman" whom many of the visiting merchants were). In conclusion, if you see a bunch of Italians on the noodle aisle, the ramen is more likely than not going to disappear in a hurry.

[Economizer]

But seriously folks, enormous strides have been made in morality world  wide. The famous dance by showgirls at the famous Follies Bergere in Paris has been "canned", Patrons of Geisha Girls in Tokyo have gone along with the "Let us not and say we did" policy, and the ever suggestive Hula dancers of the Hawaiin Islands have gone to wearing culottes and shiffs. VD's are down and condom sales are up among the optimists. Threrapists 
report requests for "wet deam" analytics". Numerous "Topless" dancers are frantically searching online for "Pasties".

What is going on at your place? Truthfully, I can only imagine!

So, "What Good is Sitting Alone in Your Room?" Good health, mon amies, Good Health! Hey! What's with that ....... GONG!!!

[Economizer]

Previous: .. mes amis...

[Economizer]

Heard in space: Open the damn hatch and let us in Willya. We're Muskyvites!