Managing a lab during coronavirus & finding support outside a lab

[seym8842]

I've been seeing a lot on social media about how PIs are leading their lab teams virtually during the coronavirus pandemic. My favorite is seeing almost daily morning check-ins via Google Hangouts to state individual goals for the day.

I ask because I'm still a postdoc and truly struggling with issues with my mental health during the pandemic, which has only exacerbated it. My PI currently isn't holding any virtual meetings or email check ins since our university shut down almost 2 weeks now. I'm hoping to get some support here.

[mamselle]

Was your lab one that was not considered essential, so that all the specimens had to be destroyed, etc.?

That would certainly be upsetting, I know how hard people work to keep those things going.

M.

[Puget]

I'm a PI in psychology.

We have been on Zoom a LOT, for group and individual meetings. We also already used Slack heavily, so that has continued, and I added a #coffeebreak channel for virtual coffee breaks. 

OP, perhaps you could do some of these things with your labmates even if your PI doesn't initiate/participate. It is also possible your PI isn't contacting you in the (mistaken in your case) belief that "bugging" you right now would add to stress. Take the initiative and see what happens.

We've spent the past week and a half getting a new online study up and running (we study stress and mental health, so we are better off than many, in that this brings us opportunities to continue research and hopefully contribute something, along with the big downside of having to stop all in-lab studies which obviously really limits the data we can collect). I think taking action with the new study has really helped all of us to cope better. I've also tried to reassure all the students that if their dissertations have to change we'll accommodate that and it will be OK.

[Liquidambar]

I ran across this, written by a PI for her students.  Some of these are things you could do, seym8842, even if your PI is hands-off.  I like Puget's suggestion of trying to make connections with other labmates even without your PI's involvement.  Also, you could e-mail your PI and ask for some of the things you need (e.g., regular meeting times).  If your PI is struggling with teaching online for the first time, he/she might have lost track of time and not realize how long the lab group has been neglected.

[seym8842]

Puget and Liquidambar, thank you for your advice and useful suggestions. I just started to schedule a Google Hangout in a few days with my former lab mates where I completed my dissertation. I'm on the right track!

Unfortunately, I found out today that members of my current lab started doing virtual happy hours and meetings without inviting me – this had also been happening for in-person activities outside of work before the coronavirus outbreak. I feel isolated because I received little recognition from my PI and lab mates when I announced accepting a faculty job to begin this fall but received little to no congratulatory messages. During a time when social distancing was not a thing yet, my lab did not offer to celebrate with me. I celebrated alone because I don't have many friends and my family lives far away. I think my expectations were too high for 'work friends' to support my career achievement.

I apologize for venting further, but this week a faculty member removed me from leading a virtual journal club I'd been scheduled to give and sent a group email to the department calling me out for missing the last journal club, wanting to know if I intend to stay in the group. I am not only humiliated that the faculty member sent it to everyone without addressing me directly, but I am also disappointed that this person might not be thinking about how very difficult the pandemic has been on other people's mental health, which for me case resulted in missing meetings. Just feeling quite isolated and unsupported at present, all kind messages are welcome!

[Puget]

I'm sorry your postdoc lab has not been a welcoming place! Some labs just don't have a warm and welcoming culture. Some people are mean and exclusionary. Try not to let that get to you (I know it's easier said than done). Sounds like you have good connections to your former lab, so virtual hangouts with them sound like a good idea, and you can do the same with far-flung friends.

[doc700]

I'm sorry that your postdoc position has not been a better placement but congratulations on the faculty position to start in the fall!

I also had a great experience in my PhD group but less connection to my postdoc appointment.  Part was on me -- all of the time that I spent traveling to interview for positions meant I was less connected to the group.  I also started to have 1 foot out the door when I was planning for my new faculty position.  I'm not sure if this is true for you too but just wanted to acknowledge that it can be trickier to connect with a postdoc group.  As a faculty member, I am still in touch with a lot of my group members from my PhD group and we have had a group chat going.

If you are looking for more immediate connection, is there a postdoc organization on your campus?  My current university and where I did my postdoc had those.  Maybe they are planning some group hangouts and the like?

[fizzycist]

OP, I'm truly sorry you are going through this. I am no expert in these matters, but you may want to consider reaching out to a therapist, either through your campus clinic or whatever you feel comfortable with.

I remember a time at the beginning of my postdoc where work was most of my life. If that had been taken away abruptly I would have felt really lost. Hope you find the new outlets you need!

[seym8842]

OP, I'm truly sorry you are going through this. I am no expert in these matters, but you may want to consider reaching out to a therapist, either through your campus clinic or whatever you feel comfortable with.

I remember a time at the beginning of my postdoc where work was most of my life. If that had been taken away abruptly I would have felt really lost. Hope you find the new outlets you need!

Yes, this is accurate to describe where I am in my life right now. I don't feel that I have a personal life or balance of work/life, and I feel devastated that all I have worked for is being both underappreciated by who I believed was my mentor and advocate (PI) and feel that I have no resources outside of work under the self-isolation restrictions.

I used to be in therapy, but I don't have a relationship with a psychological counseling center. In the past, I've had poor luck getting help from the HR at my research center (which technically is not at a university, so we lack an employee assistance program). Are there ways to get virtual counseling now even if I'm not a new patient anywhere?

[Puget]

Are there ways to get virtual counseling now even if I'm not a new patient anywhere?

Yes, especially if you're willing to give non individual (group or just virtual skill-building programs) a chance. For a free start, you might want to check out this resource (I haven't done them myself but they were recommended by a clinical colleague of mine who knows the person running this as a resource to pass on to my students):

Free online therapy group meetings for coping with social isolation and anxiety about coronavirus (select one of those two from the drop-down menu): https://moodlifters.com/join/

[polly_mer]

seym8842, congrats on the faculty job starting in the fall!  Let's not lose sight of that accomplishment even though day-to-day is not good right now.

I started a thread for those starting new jobs.  Perhaps energy spent planning for that new job with others who are in a similar boat might help.

We do support for people day-to-day on specific tasks on the Work Sprint Thread.  If you want friendly chat with no pressure, then that's a place for you on these fora.

You might also wish to visit the Free Hugs thread where we're reassuring the group that they are accepted and valued during this time of stress.

[mamselle]

I'm wondering if you can get back in touch with the journal club organizer, say something simple like, "I'm sorry for any confusion, but I'm very interested...when's my next turn to present?"

Ditto the chat groups...sometimes you can be just a tiny bit in someone's face about not leaving you out out of the group to clarify that you're aware it happened and hope it was just an error (which it could have been).

I've been the EA who wasn't updated on new individuals to add to a distribution list, resulting in an omission of invitions or announcements going out to them when I'd not been told to add X, Y, or Z to those lists.

M.

[seym8842]

Just checking in and giving an update. I'm so grateful to everyone here who has offered their support virtually because I don't have much support elsewhere.

I've connected with a virtual therapist which is helping, and focusing more on my metal health and self-care during this time.

An issue I want to bring up is one with work. After reflecting for some time, I've realized a dilemma I've gotten myself into: I realize that I developed a habit of seeking help from my PI by not succeeding. That is, I noticed that when I'm doing well on my own, my PI seems to forget about my project and really reduces communication with me. But when I struggle and need more guidance from my PI, that is the only time I get attention and collaborative conversations.

I bet this isn't unusual for a lot of trainees to learn to be needy. But how can I break this cycle? What others ways can I directly or indirectly encourage my PI to maintain focus on my research progress?

[mamselle]

In a wider context, I'd say, "Be crisp, be on top of things when you do need to ask questions, and act immediately on any solutions or suggestions offered."

That not only shows your PI you're not the whingy, whining type, but it shows YOU that you aren't, either.

I think learned helplessness is definitely a thing--right now, my left foot doesn't seem to reaaaallllyy want to take weight now that the cast is off and the boot is able to come on and off for exercises, etc.

I'm exercising, but that last little bit of trust, to get my foot to accept my full weight, just isn't quite there yet....after six weeks, it's gotten used to the free ride (the rest of my limbs are willing for it to take up the slack any time now...).

It liked that protection, my left foot, and it's not giving it up without a...fight? No, a refusal, it still seems like. There's some kind of a tussel going on there.

But it's sort of the same thing.

I used to have a poster that said,

   "You can fly.

        (picture of monarch butterfly)

           But that cocoon's got to go...."

The briskness is what it takes (I think) to break open the cocoon and get out into the world.

As much as anything, it's about style.

M.

[Puget]

Just checking in and giving an update. I'm so grateful to everyone here who has offered their support virtually because I don't have much support elsewhere.

I've connected with a virtual therapist which is helping, and focusing more on my metal health and self-care during this time.

An issue I want to bring up is one with work. After reflecting for some time, I've realized a dilemma I've gotten myself into: I realize that I developed a habit of seeking help from my PI by not succeeding. That is, I noticed that when I'm doing well on my own, my PI seems to forget about my project and really reduces communication with me. But when I struggle and need more guidance from my PI, that is the only time I get attention and collaborative conversations.

I bet this isn't unusual for a lot of trainees to learn to be needy. But how can I break this cycle? What others ways can I directly or indirectly encourage my PI to maintain focus on my research progress?

This may not be what you want to hear, but as a postdoc about to transition to faculty next year, you should be trying to establish your independence, not trying to get more PI attention. Next year YOU will be the PI-- use this as an opportunity to get used to that.

Get as many papers as you can in the pipeline now while you can't do lab work-- next year you will be exceedingly busy setting up your lab and teaching, and won't have much time to get to them.

Treat your PI as just another collaborator (and you will have many collaborators through the years who are slow to respond on stuff). Send him occasional updates. Better yet, send him polished paper drafts. Do not ask for attention, ask for what you need to get papers out the door.