I don't even know her doctor's name. I found out the name of a cardiologist she sees and left a long message for her. One of my goals with my visit is to get the contact information for all these folks - and then contact them, and find out what they need from me to enable them to talk to me.
I've been spending a lot of time looking at various options for moving her closer to me, though of course I need to have more information to focus that search. Like what does she even want? After I see her in person, what do I think she needs vs. what does she think she needs. What does her doctor think she needs.
In terms of who can say what to whom, you can always (try to) tell the MDs and RNNPs things, with or without a release; they just may not be able to reply, other than to thank you for your input.
My parents were into playing "guess my illness" with their PCPs: they'd say things like, "I have this runny nose all the time..." and I'd say, "Have you asked your MD about it?"
To which they'd reply: "No, that's their job, to figure out what's wrong with me and fix it!"
<<me: exasperated silent screams offstage, of course...>>
Any effort to try to get them to be up-front about stuff was stonewalled like this, because, well, a professional should know their business and not have to be told stuff, right?
I wrote long-ish letters when I realized they were not being upfront; MDs couldn't reply because only two of the four sibs had been given reportage privileges...and I wasn't one of them.
But at least the MD knew what to think and ask about, even if they discredited it (which they aren't supposed to do if it's reasonable).
Good luck...
M.
