Colleague posts picture of herself in underwear on social media

[adel9216]

I am assuming someone has told her. I really hope someone did. Trully, she can't do that while being a professor or intrucctor. It will ruin her career. I don't understand how she doesn't have these professional boundaries.

I guess it might, but it  shouldn't. It certainly isn't wise, but is it really objectionable? Why is this worse, for example, than posting about feuds with family members? Unless you're teaching at a very conservative religious school or something, I can't imagine it would threaten her job, at least not immediately. Any school that fired a professor just for posting underwear pictures would be courting a lawsuit.

What I am saying is that it will make people talk. And she will lose control of her classroom as well. I just feel it's asking for trouble, even though it is technically not illegal.

Not remotely illegal, and I very much doubt it is against any university rule. If she's not making these posts public and friending students, it would be pretty unlikely that students would ever see the pictures. Even if they did, you seem to be making some gendered assumptions. If someone sees a picture of their professor in underwear, that means she can't effectively run the classroom?  I agree with you that it is TMI and not a good idea. But I think that about the way lots of people use social media.

They are public. That's the point. :/ They are so public that I could easily imagine a journalist a local newspaper article being written about this at one point in her career.

I am not saying that she can't effectively run the classroom. I am saying that it will create debates about it that are non-necessary...that's the nuance I want to make.

This is someone that I do know, not on a deep level, but I do know her and that's why I am FB friends with her. I won't go into other details about her for confidentiality purposes, but she can be found extremely easily on social media. Even though she doesn't get fired or anything like that, I think there will be subtle ways that people in authority at university will let her own that this behavior will not be welcomed. she's not a full professor, but a grad student, which makes it even more easier for university admins to just toss her out directly or undirectly

[adel9216]

Also wait, is this a grad student?

Yes

I won't tell her what I think about this because it is none of my business. But I'm sure someone will or has already.

[kaysixteen]

Probably good advice has been offered here, unless, of course, there is significant evidence she is sending these pics to students.   Then?

[Caracal]

They are public. That's the point. :/ They are so public that I could easily imagine a journalist a local newspaper article being written about this at one point in her career.

Even though she doesn't get fired or anything like that, I think there will be subtle ways that people in authority at university will let her own that this behavior will not be welcomed. she's not a full professor, but a grad student, which makes it even more easier for university admins to just toss her out directly or undirectly

Unless your school is extremely unusual, university admins are completely uninterested in pictures that grad students post of themselves on social media as long as there's nothing illegal in them. This is a thing that other grad students gossip about. It isn't interesting to anyone else. You're overestimating the professional consequences. This might reflect a more general lack of judgement, but some not particularly scandalous pictures on facebook in grad school are not going to dog someone's professional life if they get that off of social media before they go on the market. I still can't figure out from your description if they are really "public" in the sense that anyone, not just friends, can see them.

[clean]

Are these undergarments more revealing than what is available on TikTok?  (however you spell it). IF the bikinis in TikTok are more revealing, then leave it be (and if it is, there is nothing good that can come from you saying anything). 

Be less worried about the grad student's future career and more worried about any complaints that your ogling the pictures will cause if the grad student decides to complain about anything YOU say!!

Perhaps the OP would be better off putting the social media away and not looking at grad students in their underwear  (not to mention the many posts here today). 

IF the OP wants to enjoy the view, then go ahead, but dont brag about your good fortune to the rest of us!  "The first rule of Fight Club is dont talk about Fight Club!" 

[clean]

without being sexist to an almost stranger

Why are you even social media friends?  Unfriend and be done with it.  What are the repercussions for unfriending "an almost stranger"?

What are the risks of keeping her on your list?  Seems that one is bigger than the other to me, but not my call!!

[Dismal]

Since this is happening on FB and these posts just "come across your feed" every so often, is it because she uses a public setting for her posts?  Because if that is the case, then you could message her and ask her if she knows that these posts are public.  Some people don't understand the settings.   
But if these are private posts and you don't feel comfortable commenting to someone about their private posts on FB, then perhaps you should be more discriminating about who are your FB friends.

[eigen]

This would not cause anyone to bat an eye at my school. Personal life, as long as it's legal and not harming other people, is personal.

This level of worry about what someone else posts comes across really, really puritanical. And honestly, given the genders involved, more than a little sexist. It takes me to the recent JAMA article looking at social media of residents that was broadly panned and led to quite a few prominent med school faculty / surgeons posting social media pictures of themselves in bikinis / underwear in protest.

If it was a guy posting pictures in shorts and shirtless working out, no one would accuse the dude of "putting their career at risk", or "being unable to run a classroom", or "being found by a journalist and written about".

Ditto posting things talking about sex toys. Maybe if you're at an ultra-religious school this would be an issue?

[financeguy]

I'm actually not surprised to hear this at all, having experienced it with younger women I have had to mentor in the workplace. Forget recreational social media, I've seen younger female colleagues post things that are way overboard on professional sites such as linkedin.

Women who are sharing (or oversharing) on social media are often given an "attagirl" for doing so, while anyone who raises an eyebrow is "slut shaming" or "enforcing a double standard." This may or may not be true, but it still doesn't mean that publicly documenting your private life will not be a career limiting move.

Either way, males have been told not to have an opinion on it one way or the other so we just stay silent and avoid promoting you to the next role if coming into the office as if it's a nightclub or discussing the acrobatics of last night's conquest. Just because you get reinforcement online or with the sewing circle doesn't mean the workplace isn't a more conservative and/or judgemental environment, regardless of if you think this should be the case. It's not even a gender issue. Someone who's very prominent in my field just lost a couple BILLION dollars that were pulled from his firm after making an overly boorish public comment at a conference that is not even remotely close to what you've described.

[adel9216]

If it was a guy posting pictures in shorts and shirtless working out, no one would accuse the dude of "putting their career at risk", or "being unable to run a classroom", or "being found by a journalist and written about".

I would say the same things if it was a man, believe me.

I am not saying that I AGREE that these things should happen, but it will cause discussion around these aspects and in her work setting. What I am saying is that WE DO live in a sexist world where there ARE double standards (I am a woman btw). That's why I am worried. There is a nuance here that I cannot express in written format, I don't understand why I am being so misunderstood. I am all for free and liberated women, but in the context of academia and the world we live in, she will get into trouble that she does not deserve :/ Since I know other things about her that I won't disclose here, I do believe it.

As a note, I am very surprised that I am being accused of not focusing on my career - which is far from true - just because I did a post here about something like this that is totally related to a question in academia.

[adel9216]

without being sexist to an almost stranger

Why are you even social media friends?  Unfriend and be done with it.  What are the repercussions for unfriending "an almost stranger"?

What are the risks of keeping her on your list?  Seems that one is bigger than the other to me, but not my call!!

Because I have worked with her on multiple occasions that's it. Not a close friend, but will probably hurt her feelings if I delete her. I will just mute her without deleting her.I did not know FB had that function. Problem solved.

[adel9216]

Since this is happening on FB and these posts just "come across your feed" every so often, is it because she uses a public setting for her posts?  Because if that is the case, then you could message her and ask her if she knows that these posts are public.  Some people don't understand the settings.   
But if these are private posts and you don't feel comfortable commenting to someone about their private posts on FB, then perhaps you should be more discriminating about who are your FB friends.

They are public and she knows they are public

I have a lot of FB friends because of the role I have been taking in my field, that is why, my profile is more public than a personal account in some ways

[spork]

Spend less time obsessing about this person's social media feeds and more time working on your own career.

To be honest, I am absolutely not obssessing about her. Like I have mentionned, those posts appear on my feed every now and then and have been for multiple months. This is someone that I know and have met on multiple occasions in a professional capacity.

To say that I am not working on my career is the most ridiculous thing ever.

Maybe you should offer her money to stop posting such embarrassing photos. Or store them in a file folder on a university-owned computer for later use.

[adel9216]

Spend less time obsessing about this person's social media feeds and more time working on your own career.

To be honest, I am absolutely not obssessing about her. Like I have mentionned, those posts appear on my feed every now and then and have been for multiple months. This is someone that I know and have met on multiple occasions in a professional capacity.

To say that I am not working on my career is the most ridiculous thing ever.

Maybe you should offer her money to stop posting such embarrassing photos. Or store them in a file folder on a university-owned computer for later use.

is this meant to be a joke ?

[adel9216]

Are these undergarments more revealing than what is available on TikTok?

Yes