Anyone Else Hit a Wall?

[Langue_doc]

Me too. Student turned in an essay that is clearly not Stu's handiwork.

This should probably go in the Bang your head  thread.

[ergative]

I'm hitting it right now. I convene the large first-year intro class, so every week I'm getting student emails explaining everything wrong in their lives and asking for help and support. Things like 'My grandma died from Covid' and 'my partner tried to commit suicide' and 'I can't get my medicine because of Covid and I'm having seizures'. And all I can do is give them links for extension request forms and university counseling services and reassure them that it's okay to look after themselves and catch up with their coursework later. There's nothing I can really do to help them in any real way; they're just names in my inbox. But I'm absorbing their problems and trying to give back some degree of comfort, and it's exhausting me.

And then Absolutive comes home and wants to unload his concerns about the state of democracy and the country, and I have to absorb that too. I've asked him if we could not talk about it, but he says he doesn't want to have to walk on eggshells all the time. And I get that. But at the moment I feel like an empty eggshell. I'm wrung out. I'm drained dry. And then the next morning I have to get on that damned Zoom camera and pretend that I'm friendly and cheerful and happy to be talking about the damn reading assignment, and all the while more emails keep landing in my inbox from people who need support and comfort from me that I have to find somewhere to give to them.

[mamselle]

Wooof. When one is wicking so much countertransference, one needs a regular supervisory partner to help dispel it.

This is something that was emphasized in all the intermodal therapies classes I had in my M.A. program. Your students, and Absolutive, are placing you in the psychological position of the all-knowing, all-absorbing parent, and while that positional relationship may in fact be appropriate to your job title, as it is in any therapeutic and some educational settings, and in familial settings were spouses perform parenting in the deepest ways to each other, it does become exhausting, and needs a regular, guided discussion session with a professional to wick it off as well.

I've set up "paired countertransference" sessions with friends, at times, and at other times I've paid someone for a weekly, biweekly or monthly session, as a responsible choice for a deeply engaged professional. It can take the form of resource exploration (how to address certain client needs effectively), brainstorming and role-playing (how to answer certain imponderables or manage cases of oversharing), and humor (some things just really need a good belly laugh).

We used to be told to locate such a "counselor-to-the-counselor" as we took practicum classes and prepared to finish our studies and graduate: some teachers did a stint as supervisors for former students until they found someone.

It was emphasized that this was not a "supervisor" who just judged your job performance and signed your time sheets, but one who functioned as an engaged listener and co-counselor. It was assumed that you'd pay them, and that it was a professional expectation to do ones own selfcaregiving in the position.

It changed a lot about how I did my work and saw myself; I've moved in and out of settings where I've needed one, but the feelings you describe sound like indicators that it might be worthh looking into.

In the meantime, the quiet room also has some books on the subject....and hot beverages to soothe jangled nerves.

M.

[Aster]

The emergency conversion of regular courses into temporary digital remote courses is exhausting.

For one of my courses this week, I mistyped the activation window for this week's remote class instructions, so nobody this week could see what they were doing until Tuesday afternoon when I noticed the problem and immediately fixed it.

And oddly, not a single student emailed me earlier in the week asking why nothing was viewable in this week's online instructions folder. I only came across the error by adjusting my LMS on Tuesday to "student mode" in preparation for a synchronous class meeting.

[Chris J]

I'm at that stage where I can begin to at least contemplate retirement. So, I dunno if it's a wall or possible retirement. But. Every. Single. Effing. Day.

My life exactly. Thank you.

[Chris J]

Another reminder for those in need, that the quiet room is open...all are welcome, all simple needs for a soothing environment met...

   https://thefora.org/index.php?topic=1878.0

M.

Thank you for this!!!!!

[Chris J]

The emergency conversion of regular courses into temporary digital remote courses is exhausting.

For one of my courses this week, I mistyped the activation window for this week's remote class instructions, so nobody this week could see what they were doing until Tuesday afternoon when I noticed the problem and immediately fixed it.

And oddly, not a single student emailed me earlier in the week asking why nothing was viewable in this week's online instructions folder. I only came across the error by adjusting my LMS on Tuesday to "student mode" in preparation for a synchronous class meeting.

Not odd. Students have hit walls too. Logging into class is bottom of their list. Poor students in a crap world!

[Aster]

The emergency conversion of regular courses into temporary digital remote courses is exhausting.

For one of my courses this week, I mistyped the activation window for this week's remote class instructions, so nobody this week could see what they were doing until Tuesday afternoon when I noticed the problem and immediately fixed it.

And oddly, not a single student emailed me earlier in the week asking why nothing was viewable in this week's online instructions folder. I only came across the error by adjusting my LMS on Tuesday to "student mode" in preparation for a synchronous class meeting.

Not odd. Students have hit walls too. Logging into class is bottom of their list. Poor students in a crap world!

Hmmm yeah, I think you're right. I had a sizable extra credit assignment due last week. Usually, there is very high student interest in that assignment, with most everybody completing it. But checking the submissions for last week, only HALF the class completed the thing. Half. Damn, that's some seriously extra apathy.

[Chris J]

I don't see it as apathy. I see it as being in severe shock and depression because they live in hell-world right now:Covid-19 uncontrolled spread in 48 states, election madness and edging into fascism, and no job prospects/safety net for the huge majority of college students these days.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I'm in slow motion hitting a wall and trying to correct. Not sure if I can veer off this collision course, but I'm trying!

[AvidReader]

WHAM!

Hi, everyone, I'm here too. Two weeks left in regular semester, still recovering from a week-long internet outage that set me way behind on grading, my aging parent is self-combusting a thousand miles away, and my uni has just informed me that the official electronic transcripts my PhD university emailed directly to them [in JULY] are suddenly not valid because they came directly from the registrar's email and were not uploaded to some stupid American transcript service. The latter was the figurative straw. Really? I am grading almost 800 essays this semester. Fire me for having my official transcripts emailed directly to you if you want. Someone else can grade the last 385.

AR.

[mamselle]

Yikes.

Does HR or the Sponsored Research Office, or even the international student office have a know-it-all ombudsperson who could help with this?

In the US, some forward-thinking Senstors' and Representatives' offices have a go-to person for such issues, too. Our OSR guy had one of those on speed dial since we had many international students and faculty on our grants.

The school may also retain a legal office to deal with international issues, or there was something called CBSF, or something like that, but they mostly just did accelerated visa work.

There should be a way to work this out. Just get a couplea internet wonks on your side and put them in conversation with each other.

M.

[AmLitHist]

My hit-the-wall of early last week has abated:  I got the most urgently past-my-ideal-deadline papers back to students.  Of course, two other entire classes' worth of new papers to grade have taken their place, but they're not stressing me out (yet).

In the meanwhile, I've developed/deepened a sinus infection, made numerous doctor visits with ALHS (including one where I was trained to do his daily IV perfusion), and waded through numerous confusing and contradictory emails from Admin. All this, plus a major ongoing flare of my chronic SI joint issues, probably mean that I'm really still hitting the wall just as hard, but I'm just past giving much of a sh*t about it.

[mamselle]

It's hard being a caregiver when you need care yourself.

Thinking of you and ALHS.

M.

[AvidReader]

There should be a way to work this out. Just get a couplea internet wonks on your side and put them in conversation with each other.

Thank you for your sympathy and encouragement, Mamselle. I am American, and my employing uni is American, and I am not sure that anyone at the school (staff or student) is not American (I was required to have a valid US driver's license to work here, and they do not sponsor visas). So I don't know how many international resources I have available, but I will certainly look into that . . . after the semester. In the meantime, if they want to make a fuss, they can do so.

I really appreciate your thoughtful, cheery comments.

Best wishes to AmLitHist.

AR.