2021 New Year's Resolutions

[Sun_Worshiper]

Less screen time, more healthy eating/health habits, less caffeine

[mamselle]

1. Master my mother's Sunday pot roast recipe.

Yum! Does it include mustard?

Can you share the recipe?

(Maybe we should take this over to the "dinner" thread...)

;--}

M.

[Vkw10]

1. Master my mother's Sunday pot roast recipe.

Yum! Does it include mustard?

Can you share the recipe?

(Maybe we should take this over to the "dinner" thread...)

;--}

M.

It focuses on technique, with just a mention of sprigs of fresh herbs. Mom wasn't a good cook, but she had a half dozen great dishes. A platter of roast, surrounded by veggies, swimming in gravy, was one of them.

[mamselle]

Swwwoooonnnn.....

We'd really better take this over to that other thread...

;--}

M.

[smallcleanrat]

Adding to this thread to bring up a related topic:

Does anyone have a strategy for building a plan to acquire skills that are less common in personal development projects (and thus have fewer resources for self study)?

What I mean is, for some of the most common goals people set (eat healthier, learn a language, learn an instrument, learn to code, etc...) there are a ton of apps, online courses, books, and so on available as aids.

But what if you want to learn something but you don't see an obvious way to break it down into progressive steps and you can't find a For Dummies book to help you get started? Has anyone taken on personal projects like that?

A few of the ideas I've been kicking around:

-Improve ability to read (and use) body language and facial expression
-Improve ability to understand (and use) nonverbal elements of vocal expression
-Increase pain tolerance

[mamselle]

1) Actors' training might deal with the first two.

One takes apart momentary expressions and responses, both in oneself and as seen in others, and does interpretive feedback at various paces (or one can, depending on the instructor; not all teach this way but some do: you might want to take a course here and a course there to find the person who teaches the way you want to learn).

Homework in one class I had included finding, say, six pictures of faces in magazines, picking two, and imagining a scene based on them, then mixing them up and doing the same again. After finding one pair that had interesting results or plumbed deeper feelings, we wrote up that scene, got another student to prepare it with us, and presented it to the class. (Obviously, some of those practices can't yet happen, but that's the kind of approach possible)

In another case, we were given scenes from one of the many books of "scenes for acting class" available and told to read it and embody it in three different ways, based on context, on assigned feelings for each character, and on random (often rather wild or funny--"two aliens meet") setups. Then we had to mime it--no words allowed.

In fact, come to think of it, mime lessons might get at what you want even more closely--they've gotten very ritualized, but they do get at that deeper sense of seeing and taking in a situation or another person's expressions, and reflecting on and expressing a response nonverbally. You could also watch some old films, like those with Harpo Marx or Charlie Chaplin, since they're so easily available, or a classic comedian like Lucille Ball, with the sound off.

It's very self-revelatory and it takes time--you can't just put it on and take it off. But I sense you're wanting something like that, anyway, so it could work.   

2) I'm less sure about pain tolerance--that might depend on how you mean it. Physical pain, to me (as a dancer, musician, teacher, etc.) is actually an adaptive reminder that our bodies have limits, and that while I might want to increase my ability to do pointe work--I don't, anymore--or get thumb cross-unders faster on scales (even when they start bugging my carpal tunnel structures), I need to respect my body and the messages it's sending me.

Usually in those cases, I then have to work to find images that help me work more effectively with the structures I have (extend the thumb in a more relaxed way from further back in the wrist, pull up out of my shoes, etc.) So those are really more about pain avoidance than tolerance, because the pain tells me I'm doing something wrong.

Hope at least no. 1 helps!

Bon courage/happy new year even now.

M.

[smallcleanrat]

1) Actors' training might deal with the first two.

One takes apart momentary expressions and responses, both in oneself and as seen in others, and does interpretive feedback at various paces (or one can, depending on the instructor; not all teach this way but some do: you might want to take a course here and a course there to find the person who teaches the way you want to learn).

Homework in one class I had included finding, say, six pictures of faces in magazines, picking two, and imagining a scene based on them, then mixing them up and doing the same again. After finding one pair that had interesting results or plumbed deeper feelings, we wrote up that scene, got another student to prepare it with us, and presented it to the class. (Obviously, some of those practices can't yet happen, but that's the kind of approach possible)

In another case, we were given scenes from one of the many books of "scenes for acting class" available and told to read it and embody it in three different ways, based on context, on assigned feelings for each character, and on random (often rather wild or funny--"two aliens meet") setups. Then we had to mime it--no words allowed.

In fact, come to think of it, mime lessons might get at what you want even more closely--they've gotten very ritualized, but they do get at that deeper sense of seeing and taking in a situation or another person's expressions, and reflecting on and expressing a response nonverbally. You could also watch some old films, like those with Harpo Marx or Charlie Chaplin, since they're so easily available, or a classic comedian like Lucille Ball, with the sound off.

It's very self-revelatory and it takes time--you can't just put it on and take it off. But I sense you're wanting something like that, anyway, so it could work.   

2) I'm less sure about pain tolerance--that might depend on how you mean it. Physical pain, to me (as a dancer, musician, teacher, etc.) is actually an adaptive reminder that our bodies have limits, and that while I might want to increase my ability to do pointe work--I don't, anymore--or get thumb cross-unders faster on scales (even when they start bugging my carpal tunnel structures), I need to respect my body and the messages it's sending me.

Usually in those cases, I then have to work to find images that help me work more effectively with the structures I have (extend the thumb in a more relaxed way from further back in the wrist, pull up out of my shoes, etc.) So those are really more about pain avoidance than tolerance, because the pain tells me I'm doing something wrong.

Hope at least no. 1 helps!

Bon courage/happy new year even now.

M.

Thanks for this very informative response, mamselle!

I think you're right that acting training is probably a pretty good way to pick up some of these skills. I guess, like you mentioned, it depends on the teaching approach and the type of feedback. I never even considered mime classes.

Lately, when reading fiction, I've been paying special attention to descriptions of people's expressions, gestures, and tone of voice. I search google images for phrases like "bemused expression" or "cold stare" or "sad smile" because, while I know the meanings of these words, I cannot picture what these actually look like. Similar for things like "sneering tone" or "lilting voice."

I used to skim over those parts of the book for precisely this reason. Now I realize I may have been missing out on a lot by doing this.

The difficulty with learning by observing is that I think I need some explicit explanation to match what I'm seeing to the meaning intended. For example, in high school I found that some shows I like had teleplays of their episodes available online. I used to refer to the scripts when I wasn't sure how to interpret something nonverbal the character did, because they would explain what the character was thinking or feeling (which the audience is supposed to infer by watching the actor).

As for pain tolerance, I'm interested mostly because I want to be able to function better. Among other things, I get frequent migraines. The worst of them can immobilize me for two or three days at a time. And I wonder if I could be more productive if I were better at toughing it out when things like that happen.

And I'd like to know that if I fell and shattered a leg or something, I'd be able to focus enough to do something about it instead of just lying there whimpering.

I guess it's related to a larger goal of being more self-reliant.

[Puget]

As for pain tolerance, I'm interested mostly because I want to be able to function better. Among other things, I get frequent migraines. The worst of them can immobilize me for two or three days at a time. And I wonder if I could be more productive if I were better at toughing it out when things like that happen.

And I'd like to know that if I fell and shattered a leg or something, I'd be able to focus enough to do something about it instead of just lying there whimpering.

I guess it's related to a larger goal of being more self-reliant.

Your comment/question made me think of this podcast episode: https://www.npr.org/2019/03/06/700743108/the-fifth-vital-sign
May or may not be at all relevant, but I found it interesting.

[mamselle]

Having just broken a leg last year, my experience of the pain was, surprisingly to me, very low-grade, almost minimal. Not that there wasn't any, but once it was set and casted, it was just a nagging discomfort rather than serious pain. I never even filled the Rx they gave me because I didn't need it.

The bigger issue was, after the cast came off, rehabilitating the ankle joints. Since the break happened in late January, and the cast came off mid-March, and Covid came along after that, I wasn't going out much, so I did a lot of walking indoors, ballet exercises in the AM, a weekly folk dance class online, etc., to get mobility back. That, again, wasn't really painful, just slow.

It's contributed to my being a super-slug, but I can dance fine on it, now.

Just saying that the situations you fear may themselves be less fearful in the reality of it, although that's not to say that worse breaks can't or don't happen, and they don't all not hurt equally.

The migraines, though...ouch. Been there, had those briefly when traversing early menopause, no way I'd want to be dealing with THAT! Some discussion just arose on another thread about those, wonder if we just need a migraine thread? (Mine finally went away with a rye derivative, Ergomar, but it may not be available anymore).

I do hope you find a way out of that labyrinth. Maybe it's the wimp in me, but pain avoidance in all forms beats the need for pain tolerance....if you can choose, of course.

Sympathies and good thoughts going your way.

M.

[Vkw10]

Adding to this thread to bring up a related topic:

Does anyone have a strategy for building a plan to acquire skills that are less common in personal development projects (and thus have fewer resources for self study)?

What I mean is, for some of the most common goals people set (eat healthier, learn a language, learn an instrument, learn to code, etc...) there are a ton of apps, online courses, books, and so on available as aids.

But what if you want to learn something but you don't see an obvious way to break it down into progressive steps and you can't find a For Dummies book to help you get started? Has anyone taken on personal projects like that?

A few of the ideas I've been kicking around:

-Improve ability to read (and use) body language and facial expression
-Improve ability to understand (and use) nonverbal elements of vocal expression
-Increase pain tolerance

Our library catalog has a ton of stuff on body language, both books and videos. There's even a For Dummies book. Looks like a popular topic for management, supervision, counseling, and cross-cultural communication.