How to Decline LOR Request From a Student

[coolswimmer800]

A student asked me to write a letter of recommendation (LOR) for their PhD applications. The problem is, this particular student is below average in my class, and I'm not sure a PhD program would be realistic for them. As a result, I am uncomfortable faking a LOR and having my name attached to any part of that student's PhD application.

Recommendations on how I should answer the student, particularly declining the LOR request? Here were my plans:

• Plan A: Tell them that I am too busy to write them a LOR and give some valid reasons.
• Plan B: I was thinking I could help the student grow professionally and mention that at least from my interactions with the student in my course, explain I don't think they would be competitive enough for PhD programs. I'm hesitant to implement Plan B because I am a new professor, and this might backfire somehow.

Yes, I know this is a stupid dilemma, but I've never had hesitations of writing any LORs until now. My students seeking terminal degrees would benefit me and my school, but I'm not sure if that outweighs me potentially doing a disservice to the student.

[Puget]

I think the truth, gently told, is the best policy. My replies to students like this are something like:
Dear Stu,
Unfortunately I don't think I would be the best choice for writing a letter for you. When I write a letter, I always try to provide an accurate and balanced picture of a student's strengths and weaknesses. Based on your performance in my class, I would be able to say you have strengths in X, but still need to grow in Y and Z. I think you would be better served by picking a letter writer who has had a chance to observe more of your strengths.
I wish you the best,
Prof. Puget.

[Caracal]

A student asked me to write a letter of recommendation (LOR) for their PhD applications. The problem is, this particular student is below average in my class, and I'm not sure a PhD program would be realistic for them. As a result, I am uncomfortable faking a LOR and having my name attached to any part of that student's PhD application.

Recommendations on how I should answer the student, particularly declining the LOR request? Here were my plans:

• Plan A: Tell them that I am too busy to write them a LOR and give some valid reasons.
• Plan B: I was thinking I could help the student grow professionally and mention that at least from my interactions with the student in my course, explain I don't think they would be competitive enough for PhD programs. I'm hesitant to implement Plan B because I am a new professor, and this might backfire somehow.

Yes, I know this is a stupid dilemma, but I've never had hesitations of writing any LORs until now. My students seeking terminal degrees would benefit me and my school, but I'm not sure if that outweighs me doing a disservice to the student.

I would tell the student that based on their performance in your class, you can't write them a strong letter and you wouldn't want to hurt their chances with a weak one and they should ask other faculty members.

I don't think it would be appropriate based just on your class to tell the student that they aren't competitive. It is always possible they have shown more promise in other classes. I doubt that's true-a talented student who had trouble with a class wouldn't usually be asking that professor for a recommendation. However, you're just being asked for the recommendation-not for an opinion. If a senior colleague has a more positive opinion of this student and is working with them on applying, you don't want to offer up unsolicited advice and step on someone's toes.

If the student asks for more details you could certainly explain in more detail why you couldn't recommend them based on their performance.

[clean]

Since you used the singular "class", suggest that there may be others that may know the student better and could write a better informed and stronger letter. 

I dont know your discipline.  IS it a good idea for ANYONE to go into a PhD program in your discipline?  Is it a buyers or sellers market?  Do you think that the academic market will be better or worse by the time the student enters the market?  Can the student graduate without (significant) debt (are they debt free now)?

Frankly, there are plenty of threads that question whether faculty, particularly in some disciplines (if I recall) like English or History, but I m sure many others. 

IF you can not say "yes" to the question, "If you had to do it over again, would you?"  (or something similar!)

as an aside, I asked my advisors that question, and all said, "No, I would not do it again, But You should go!"  I dont have any great nostalgia for my program. I am glad I did it, but there were a lot of unpleasant times and poverty that Im too old to do again. 

[Cheerful]

The less said, the better.

"I'm not the best person to provide such a letter.  I encourage you to ask others who have known you for more than one semester and, thus, can write more meaningful letters."

If student asks again, then file a straightforward letter and be done with it.  "I have known Jimmy John for one semester.  He was a student in my Pottery 100 course in Fall 2020.  Each student had to make five different ceramic pots.  Jimmy's five pots came out nice overall [or: he made four of the five required pots].  He followed directions and one pot demonstrated noteworthy creativity.  Jimmy's attendance was good and he got along well with others in class.  He earned a B- in the course. My interactions with Jimmy are limited to Pottery 100 this semester.  I have not had a chance to talk with Jimmy outside of class."

Not your job to counsel/caution the student about his chances of getting in to grad school unless he asks you for advice.

[polly_mer]

Not your job to counsel/caution the student about his chances of getting in to grad school unless he asks you for advice.

Professorial attitudes like this are how people end up very bitter about "Nobody told me to only go to grad school if I was given full funding for a reasonable time" and "Nobody told me that the job market for graduate degrees in this field is practically non-existent if one wants a middle-class job".

OP, I agree with Puget's approach the most.  However, being the realist that I am, I have written emails like:

Dear Stu,

Make an appointment this week to talk to me about graduate programs.  I like to ensure that I know the student's plans well enough to be able to write a solid letter.  In many cases, I'm able to help students think about options they may not have otherwise considered.  In some cases, I've had to turn down students who earned <grade the student earned in the class with me> because of professional norms for grad school, but I've helped many students go immediately into jobs in the field.

In summary, make an appointment this week so we can talk about your future.

Best,

Dr. Mer

That way, I'm not on record as asserting, "You're a terrible bet for grad school", when the student might just have had one bad course.

I'm not lying because I have written and networked for C students who were good candidates for jobs, but were not grad school material as they wind up their undergrad careers.

I get the opportunity to help students sort through their options with realistic eyes.  For example, in my professional networks, it's fairly common to hire good BS holders and then pay for their graduate education while they work.  Students might not know that's a possibility to go to graduate school and ensure that they have a good income and relevant experience.  One great path for that C student is to spend some time working the job in the field and then know why they are in graduate school five or ten years later.

Also, students who fail to follow through are clearly not serious and I have the easy response of "You didn't follow through with the discussion so I'm not writing letters until we've had the discussion".  The C students on ultra-short deadlines tend to just go away.

[Cheerful]

Not your job to counsel/caution the student about his chances of getting in to grad school unless he asks you for advice.

Professorial attitudes like this are how people end up very bitter about "Nobody told me to only go to grad school if I was given full funding for a reasonable time" and "Nobody told me that the job market for graduate degrees in this field is practically non-existent if one wants a middle-class job".

I'm in academe and regularly interact with students of various ages, backgrounds, disciplines, and career goals applying to various types of doctoral programs.  If a student wants to get a doctoral degree (at a top school, a middling school, a diploma mill, online or in-person) that I think is a waste of time and money, it's not my job to share those views unless the student asks.  Had such a case recently.  Student did not want my advice.  Student is admitted and delighted.  His life, his choice.

I'm not responsible for anyone's bitterness, happiness, social class, or vitamin regimen.

[Ruralguy]

I don't think there's anything wrong with just rejecting this duty and being honest about it.

Or, you can tell the student that you'll do it, but you will have to be honest and discuss strengths and weaknesses, and then ask if he still wants you to do this.

[coolswimmer800]

OP here.

Thank you all for your insights, I particularly love the templates generously written by Puget and Polly.

I agree that it's not my job to provide unsolicited feedback / advice, but I teach one of the most important foundation courses in my field. People really struggle in PhD programs without at least sufficiently understanding the class I teach, which is based on first-hand observations in my PhD cohort. This is the reason why I am troubled about what to do, sorry for not mentioning this!

[polly_mer]

Not your job to counsel/caution the student about his chances of getting in to grad school unless he asks you for advice.

Professorial attitudes like this are how people end up very bitter about "Nobody told me to only go to grad school if I was given full funding for a reasonable time" and "Nobody told me that the job market for graduate degrees in this field is practically non-existent if one wants a middle-class job".

I'm in academe and regularly interact with students of various ages, backgrounds, disciplines, and career goals applying to various types of doctoral programs.  If a student wants to get a doctoral degree (at a top school, a middling school, a diploma mill, online or in-person) that I think is a waste of time and money, it's not my job to share those views unless the student asks.  Had such a case recently.  Student did not want my advice.  Student is admitted and delighted.  His life, his choice.

I'm not responsible for anyone's bitterness, happiness, social class, or vitamin regimen.

Do the students and your chair know that you assert it's not the professor's job to:

* explain professional norms in your fields to novices
* provide sufficient feedback on performance for novices to make any necessary improvements
* provide opportunities to learn enough of the background not obvious to the novice so that the novice can apply relevant critical thinking skills to get a good result

Failing to inform the novices setting sail on the ocean that scurvy is a thing and vitamin C is necessary to prevent it does seem to be in the purview of the professor who is teaching in the sailor preparation program.

Making people take good advice to pack their limes or vitamin tablets is not your problem.  Knowing big problems and not pointing them out is ripping off students in a whole new way.

[Cheerful]

Do the students and your chair know that you assert it's not the professor's job to:

* explain professional norms in your fields to novices
* provide sufficient feedback on performance for novices to make any necessary improvements
* provide opportunities to learn enough of the background not obvious to the novice so that the novice can apply relevant critical thinking skills to get a good result

Failing to inform the novices setting sail on the ocean that scurvy is a thing and vitamin C is necessary to prevent it does seem to be in the purview of the professor who is teaching in the sailor preparation program.

Making people take good advice to pack their limes or vitamin tablets is not your problem.  Knowing big problems and not pointing them out is ripping off students in a whole new way.

Polly, as you know, you're misunderstanding and mischaracterizing my posts and talking about people and things you know nothing about.  You're making assertions, attacking people personally, and jumping to conclusions when you do not have complete information.  Perhaps you enjoy trying to provoke responses, lately accusing profs of trying to "rip students off" in several posts.

You are not in contemporary academe and your knowledge is confined to a particular disciplinary area.  For example, in many universities, chairs are not supervisors or bosses, they are colleagues elected to (often "begged" into) the position by colleagues (most of whom do not want to be chair because it's a thankless, increasingly stressful position ).  My current and former chairs, other colleagues, and students are aware of my steadfast, competent, caring mentoring of, education of, and support of 1000s of diverse students ("novices" and otherwise).

I prefer not to provide responses you apparently seek but it's hard to scroll by when you mischaracterize what I've said, what I do, and my record.  Few, if any, in The Fora behave this way toward you.

[Caracal]

Polly, as you know, you're misunderstanding and mischaracterizing my posts and talking about people and things you know nothing about.  You're making assertions, attacking people personally, and jumping to conclusions when you do not have complete information.  Perhaps you enjoy trying to provoke responses, lately accusing profs of trying to "rip students off" in several posts.

You are not in contemporary academe and your knowledge is confined to a particular disciplinary area.  For example, in many universities, chairs are not supervisors or bosses, they are colleagues elected to (often "begged" into) the position by colleagues (most of whom do not want to be chair because it's a thankless, increasingly stressful position ).  My current and former chairs, other colleagues, and students are aware of my steadfast, competent, caring, mentoring of, education of, and support of 1000s of diverse students ("novices" and otherwise) over the years.

I prefer not to provide responses you apparently seek but it's hard to scroll by when you mischaracterize what I've said, what I do, and my record.  Few, if any, in The Fora behave this way toward you.

From experience, the impulse to engage as little as possible is the right one.

If it helps, what you were saying was perfectly clear to me and didn't imply any of the things claimed by Poly. If a student wants to discuss grad school with you, then you have an obligation to make sure they have a full picture of what they are considering and that might include concerns you have about their skills. Asking for a letter is not asking for advice. People don't tend to appreciate or listen to unsolicited feedback. I think it would be appropriate for CoolSwimmer to leave the door open for the student to come talk to them in their note. If the student decides to come talk to you, that's them asking for some guidance-which means they may be receptive to your concerns.

I can almost guarantee that dragging the student in to harangue them with advice they didn't ask for isn't going to be useful or helpful.

[Cheerful]

From experience, the impulse to engage as little as possible is the right one.

If it helps, what you were saying was perfectly clear to me and didn't imply any of the things claimed by Poly. If a student wants to discuss grad school with you, then you have an obligation to make sure they have a full picture of what they are considering and that might include concerns you have about their skills. Asking for a letter is not asking for advice. People don't tend to appreciate or listen to unsolicited feedback. I think it would be appropriate for CoolSwimmer to leave the door open for the student to come talk to them in their note. If the student decides to come talk to you, that's them asking for some guidance-which means they may be receptive to your concerns.

I can almost guarantee that dragging the student in to harangue them with advice they didn't ask for isn't going to be useful or helpful.

Thank you, kindly, Caracal.  Yes, you've "been there, done that" and have the souvenir T-shirt.

Context matters.  In a later post, CoolSwimmer800 added more on the context of the case at hand.  Many different contexts and possibilities. If a former student, age 30, with a master's degree, contacts me for a LOR so the student can pursue his/her doctoral dream or job promotion plan via a doctoral program, the student usually doesn't want my views on the decision.  If the student requests my thoughts, of course I'm happy to talk with the student.

Thank you again.

[Sun_Worshiper]

I agree with Puget. I've also told students that I couldn't write them a strong letter, and suggest that they go to another professor instead. This usually, although not always, does the trick. 

[arty_]

I respond like Puget.

Also, I teach professional practices classes to undergraduates, and discuss LORs in these classes. I explain that anything less than an strong or even enthusiastic letter is insufficient in a competitive process. I also tell them I will refuse to write a letter unless it can be a strong letter of support. I have made the mistake of being talked into writing one or two lukewarm letters, and it was dispiriting for me, likely annoying t for the selection committee, and disappointing to the (ultimately) rejected student.