Need to know what to say to colleague when he is denied tenure next week

[Ruralguy]

Refer him to Dean or committee Chair or whomever was responsible for final decision.

If he presses, just say you can't say or that committee reached a consensus. Don't throw your committee under the bus. If you didn't agree, too bad.

[polly_mer]

What if the question is, "Did you personally think I wasn't doing enough xxx?"

I think your effort is better spent on getting the next job instead of ruminating on things that can't be changed.  Any good ads on the list?

"Do you personally agree that I should have been denied?"

I think your effort is better spent on getting the next job instead of ruminating on things that can't be changed.  Do.you want me to give feedback on any job materials as another pair of eyes?

I doubt this guy will ask those exact questions.  Instead, based on experience, I expect this guy to rage against unfairness and denigrate everyone involved with the decision.  The danger for this guy is getting stuck in unproductive negative feelings instead of productive concrete actions to get the next job.

If you care about this guy, then be the broken record about productive next steps.

If you care about yourself, then be a broken record of "yep, that sucks.  Excuse me, I have to go to my next appointment" and walk away without any discussion.  Flat out ignore any questions.

[Cheerful]

Thanks, polly, this is extremely useful.

Also thanks to those of you mentioning that it is not my job to deliver details about the "why." (Thank goodness.) But if *god forbid* I'm asked, what do I say? What if the question is, "Did you personally think I wasn't doing enough xxx?" or even "Do you personally agree that I should have been denied?" These are the questions I'm dreading. Not sure if it's OK to answer. Would love some ideas for circumventing this conversation without being a dick about it.

Maybe there will be guidance from the chair on this, I don't know. We've never had a denial in my department.

We don't know your history or friendship with this person.  We don't know the person or details of the process.  My advice is to treat him as you would like to be treated if you were you in his shoes.  Be prepared to just listen. Hope he has others in his life to provide support.  If not, and he seems despondent, gently suggest counseling when the time is right.  This is a serious and sad situation, to say the least.

[Ruralguy]

The problem with OP being a sounding board  is that he was on the committee that made the decision (or recommended the decision). Letting the colleague rage or whatever is much too likely to lead to OP spilling the beans. Its much better, in this case at least, to do what Polly has suggested. Either deflect and speak of the future or deflect and walk away. It sort of depends on the OP's relationship with this person.

[clean]

Hopefully, the OP is able to use the COVID restrictions to avoid the office for the next 2 weeks, or at least avoid the times the disappointed one will be there.  Let it blow over.

And reread my original post. 
IF you are not his buddy already, dont put yourself in a position to be his buddy now. 
Dont seek him out, and dont offer advice or condolences.
AS there is a chance he will be tenured, this could all be for naught!

[Ruralguy]

Yeah, maybe the Dean or Prez loves overruling faculty committees and in this one instance you will be saved, in the short run, the bother of having to deal with this.

[Cheerful]

Either deflect and speak of the future or deflect and walk away.

This is a human being facing one of the worst times in his life.  Something like this can be extremely serious in terms of one's mental well-being.  Have some mercy, please.

Yeah, maybe the Dean or Prez loves overruling faculty committees and in this one instance you will be saved, in the short run, the bother of having to deal with this.

The bother?  Again, human being.  If it were you facing that lonely walk out the door, would you want everyone running the other way when you came down the hall?

[Ruralguy]

Cheerful,

I don't think you are being  totally fair, really. Honestly, compassion isn't the only consideration, at least not for the OP. The OP served on the Committee responsible for the decision/recommendation. He must not talk about these deliberations, at least not in any thing but the most general terms. This is not the time to be calling out colleagues for their opinion on the case (not that he said he would!). Plus he obviously can't be the person to consult for how to appeal, etc. (other than just stating where the info on that can be found).

Also, I did not say he *should* walk away, and certainly not to purposefully turn around and avoid, but if the subject comes up, and it can't artfully be turned more to the future, then I think the OP is not the right person to be speaking with this colleague. Best just to be nice with normal conversation. The colleague should go to the Dean, Chair, Chair of Committee or whoever is in the charge of the decision.
There are ways to deflect the conversation without being so obvious to say "either talk about the future or get out."

I do apologize if my post perhaps seemed to be recommending such blunt behavior, but I wanted to get across that some times due to roles we have assumed at the college, we can't really play therapist. That doesn't mean no one else can or that you have to purposefully mean.

[Mobius]

The OP didn't even hint their remarks are even being solicited by their colleague. Shut up until asked, and if asked, defer.

[quercus]

OP here. The replies have been incredibly useful to me.

Cheerful, I take your point and I agree that it is important to care for the person's emotions. But I think Polly's ideas about how to respond are actually very humane and caring--by focusing on the future and the concrete steps he can take.

And Ruralguy also makes the point that I have a responsibility to my colleagues who rendered their judgments--painfully in some cases--to not overshare and throw them under the bus. Compassion and care run in more than one direction here.

(Ruralguy, I have seen how people on this campus misinterpret "confidentiality"--they think it means, "never say who said something." They forget that the fact that something was said is also confidential. I get this. I will be careful.)

thank you all, I'm so glad I posted here.

Fingers crossed for his 1% chance to make it through.

[mleok]

Fingers crossed for his 1% chance to make it through.

That person deserves to be denied tenure, don't second guess your decision.

[kaysixteen]

Since his research record is more than adequate for tenure at your place, what will you do if in fact the powers that be do tenure him, either now or on appeal?

[Ruralguy]

I don't see why anyone would have to do anything in that case, except live with a colleague who won't do service.

[Kron3007]

Fingers crossed for his 1% chance to make it through.

That person deserves to be denied tenure, don't second guess your decision.

Agreed.  It sounds like you are friendly with them, but they made their bed and it sounds like they had plenty of warning.  Still sucks for everyone involved, but it sounds like the system actually worked as it should.

[Ruralguy]

To me it seems a bit more marginal than what some are posting, but perhaps I'm not seeing it right.
Even so, a valid decision was made with ample warning (so long as what we are being told is accurate).