How Do You Deal with Family Members who Subscribe to Conspiracy Theories?

[larryc]

I deal with this by mocking them.

It is super ineffective.

[Myword]

Firstly, the conspiracy theories became popular and real after the JFK assasination and like most Americans, I think there was one, a huge number of documented books and research done. Then Watergate, that may have included a few of the same men from JFK murder.
  I agree let these conspiracy people vent and change the subject quickly. Dont change their minds...they will come up with "what if this" and other nonsense. And they enjoy the discussion but do understand the meaning of real evidence, even some historians. You need to be tactful with family and friends if possible...though I hung up fast on my moon theory friend. (We never went back because it became too costly, as all revenue was spent on Vietnam War.) In 1969 people thought that this was the start of many flights. I read that one thief stole some moon rocks and went to jail. He said, if the moon landing was faked (hilarious) then why am I in prison?
    Hard thinking is stressful and often unpleasant and time-consuming.
    I have students read "The Ethics of Belief" by WK Clifford, though it isnt easy. That's the antidote and strongest critical essay on knowledge claims I know.

[Mobius]

I deal with this by mocking them.

It is super ineffective.

Favorite quote from Hoosiers to help everyone deal with family members caught up in this: "Look, mister, there's... two kinds of dumb, uh... guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don't matter, the second one you're kinda forced to deal with."

[Charlotte]

    I have students read "The Ethics of Belief" by WK Clifford, though it isnt easy. That's the antidote and strongest critical essay on knowledge claims I know.

Thank you for posting that. It's a very interesting read.

[mahagonny]

    I have students read "The Ethics of Belief" by WK Clifford, though it isnt easy. That's the antidote and strongest critical essay on knowledge claims I know.

Thank you for posting that. It's a very interesting read.

After a look at WK Clifford's thoughts in Stanford University's Encyclopedia of Philosophy, I posit that he would be very suspicious of a claim that unequal levels of prosperity among races is mostly or entirely because of racist policies. Yet this belief gets extremely forgiving treatment. If my diversity, inclusion and equity department were to take my suggestion and add 'The Ethics of Belief' to their recommended reading list of Ibram Kendi, Robin D'Angelo et al I would be delighted. Also absolutely amazed.

[Descartes]

For some deranged reason I feel obligated to talk with my Fox-news-lovin' family. Today's highlights include:

1. Global warming isn't real because it's getting colder in the week.

2. Covid isn't that dangerous. It's ok to have large parties. If you're vaccinated, then you're 100% covered.

3. China created Covid as a biological weapon to mess with us.

4. You can cure colon cancer by taking vitamins.

Do you have folks who live in realities different from yours? If so, then how to you deal with them when they tell you that your view of the world is 'wrong.' It's especially disconcerting when they rage at me about it.

1 is just bad logic and sloppy thinking, 2 isn't completely true but the science actually says you're almost 100% covered if you are vaccinated, 3 there is no evidence for one way or the other - but I wouldn't be so quick to call the idea a whack job idea, and 4 I've never heard of but, again, is bad logic and sloppy thinking (likely conflating anecdotal cases with being proven.)

A lot of the Newsmax stuff is just demonstrably false and crackpot stuff, but I do have some sympathy and a soft spot for so-called "conspiracy theorists."  Do you know how many conspiracy theories that sounded nuts turned out to be true decades after things were declassified?  Look up the CIA plot to set off a bomb in suburban Miami and blame it on Cuba.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

For some deranged reason I feel obligated to talk with my Fox-news-lovin' family. Today's highlights include:

1. Global warming isn't real because it's getting colder in the week.

2. Covid isn't that dangerous. It's ok to have large parties. If you're vaccinated, then you're 100% covered.

3. China created Covid as a biological weapon to mess with us.

4. You can cure colon cancer by taking vitamins.

Do you have folks who live in realities different from yours? If so, then how to you deal with them when they tell you that your view of the world is 'wrong.' It's especially disconcerting when they rage at me about it.

1 is just bad logic and sloppy thinking, 2 isn't completely true but the science actually says you're almost 100% covered if you are vaccinated, 3 there is no evidence for one way or the other - but I wouldn't be so quick to call the idea a whack job idea, and 4 I've never heard of but, again, is bad logic and sloppy thinking (likely conflating anecdotal cases with being proven.)

A lot of the Newsmax stuff is just demonstrably false and crackpot stuff, but I do have some sympathy and a soft spot for so-called "conspiracy theorists."  Do you know how many conspiracy theories that sounded nuts turned out to be true decades after things were declassified?  Look up the CIA plot to set off a bomb in suburban Miami and blame it on Cuba.

I agree. The person who stated these beliefs is a Luddite and abhors Science.

[mahagonny]

Reviving this because Juan Williams has some advice for how to have a pleasant visit with those hateful relatives that you are grateful to be able to have Thanksgiving dinner with.

https://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/581496-juan-williams-a-guide-to-combating-right-wing-lies

I suggest something Juan appears not to have thought of: instead of assuming people are full of hate, consider the possibility that they may be full of fear. That leaves the door more open for reconciliation or at least co-existing.

If found this interesting: (my bolding)

Fourth, try not to cover your ears when the shouting begins over critical race theory.

Just say it is not being taught as a course in Virginia public schools, despite far-right, race-baiting claims in the run-up to the Virginia Governor's race.

In a subtle but significant shift the statement is now that CRT is not being taught as a course. Which is actually more honest than what we have been hearing unanimously from the left, but it's still moving the goalposts because no one in Youngkin's campaign or anywhere has claimed that CRT was being taught as a course in public schools. They have claimed it's being taught which is approximately what's going on, namely that because of the influence of CRT scholars and their ilk, they have recently changed or want to change, dramatically, the way they are teaching history, and potentially much besides history, in ways that they know are controversial, and they are trying to avoid engaging with anyone who may not like what they've been doing. And they've done this in response to recent events of which their interpretation is for the most part only the political left's one.
Despite all that's been said and written about this, the conversation across the aisle has been a disaster.
Maybe a good thing I'm not dining with Juan Williams. Jaun if you're reading this, Happy Thanksgiving! Food fight later?

[Sun_Worshiper]

Reviving this because Juan Williams has some advice for how to have a pleasant visit with those hateful relatives that you are grateful to be able to have Thanksgiving dinner with.

https://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/581496-juan-williams-a-guide-to-combating-right-wing-lies

I suggest something Juan appears not to have thought of: instead of assuming people are full of hate, consider the possibility that they may be full of fear. That leaves the door more open for reconciliation or at least co-existing.

If found this interesting: (my bolding)

Fourth, try not to cover your ears when the shouting begins over critical race theory.

Just say it is not being taught as a course in Virginia public schools, despite far-right, race-baiting claims in the run-up to the Virginia Governor's race.

In a subtle but significant shift the statement is now that CRT is not being taught as a course. Which is actually more honest than what we have been hearing unanimously from the left, but it's still moving the goalposts because no one in Youngkin's campaign or anywhere has claimed that CRT was being taught as a course in public schools. They have claimed it's being taught which is approximately what's going on, namely that because of the influence of CRT scholars and their ilk, they have recently changed or want to change, dramatically, the way they are teaching history, and potentially much besides history, in ways that they know are controversial, and they are trying to avoid engaging with anyone who may not like what they've been doing. And they've done this in response to recent events of which their interpretation is for the most part only the political left's one.
Despite all that's been said and written about this, the conversation across the aisle has been a disaster.
Maybe a good thing I'm not dining with Juan Williams. Jaun if you're reading this, Happy Thanksgiving! Food fight later?

If Mahagonny happens to be your uncle, then buckle up because a rant like this is what you can expect every time you ask him to pass the mashed potatoes or tell the rest of the family what he is thankful for.

[Hegemony]

Yes, speaking of mahoganny, I think there are two kinds of conspiracy theorists. There are the kinds who have multiple things going on in their lives, and you can engage about sports teams or cousin Billy's new job or whether "Seinfeld" was the best sitcom of all time, and unless you venture over into politics, he won't happen to mention that he believes that X, Y, and Z are conspiracies of the Illuminati.

But the second kind are the ones who bring their pet target into every single conversation. "So I hear cousin Billy is working at Walgreens right now." "Yes, but with Critical Race Theory infecting everyone, it's only a matter of time before a minority unfairly gets a promotion instead of him. Just watch and see. Why, over in Ohio..."  Fatally socially awkward as well as conspiracy minded, like people who mention a Star Wars parallel to every single comment you make, or who manage to bring a slight they suffered in 8th grade into every conversation. They can't adjust the topic to the general topic at hand, but keep trying to shift the topic back to their favorite conspiracy. My solution to these people is to see them in very small doses, and then to say, when in person, "Enough with the [whatever], let Janet talk."

[mamselle]

Thankfully, at least when I Zoom with family members (as rarely as possible) they match the Type 1 you describe rather than the Johnny-one-note Type 2.

Weather, past travel, family and pets are mostly safe.

That's good for about an hour, all told, and then it's time to hang up.

We'd never correspond or talk if they were Type 2.

M.

[mahagonny]

Yes, speaking of mahoganny, I think there are two kinds of conspiracy theorists. There are the kinds who have multiple things going on in their lives, and you can engage about sports teams or cousin Billy's new job or whether "Seinfeld" was the best sitcom of all time, and unless you venture over into politics, he won't happen to mention that he believes that X, Y, and Z are conspiracies of the Illuminati.

But the second kind are the ones who bring their pet target into every single conversation. "So I hear cousin Billy is working at Walgreens right now." "Yes, but with Critical Race Theory infecting everyone, it's only a matter of time before a minority unfairly gets a promotion instead of him. Just watch and see. Why, over in Ohio..."

What I would be curious about is, has Walgreens done what CVS did recently?

I can always go back to shopping at the neighborhood family-owned pharmacy that's been there for 60 years. Nice people.

https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/ceo-millions-workers-privilege-christopher-rufo

Also: how many were surprised that McAuliffe lost? And not just by a nose. Decisively. Raise hands.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Yes, speaking of mahoganny, I think there are two kinds of conspiracy theorists. There are the kinds who have multiple things going on in their lives, and you can engage about sports teams or cousin Billy's new job or whether "Seinfeld" was the best sitcom of all time, and unless you venture over into politics, he won't happen to mention that he believes that X, Y, and Z are conspiracies of the Illuminati.

But the second kind are the ones who bring their pet target into every single conversation. "So I hear cousin Billy is working at Walgreens right now." "Yes, but with Critical Race Theory infecting everyone, it's only a matter of time before a minority unfairly gets a promotion instead of him. Just watch and see. Why, over in Ohio..."  Fatally socially awkward as well as conspiracy minded, like people who mention a Star Wars parallel to every single comment you make, or who manage to bring a slight they suffered in 8th grade into every conversation. They can't adjust the topic to the general topic at hand, but keep trying to shift the topic back to their favorite conspiracy. My solution to these people is to see them in very small doses, and then to say, when in person, "Enough with the [whatever], let Janet talk."

Unfortunately, I have the second type in my family and they are a major pain in my ass.

[mahagonny]

Yes, speaking of mahoganny, I think there are two kinds of conspiracy theorists. There are the kinds who have multiple things going on in their lives, and you can engage about sports teams or cousin Billy's new job or whether "Seinfeld" was the best sitcom of all time, and unless you venture over into politics, he won't happen to mention that he believes that X, Y, and Z are conspiracies of the Illuminati.

But the second kind are the ones who bring their pet target into every single conversation. "So I hear cousin Billy is working at Walgreens right now." "Yes, but with Critical Race Theory infecting everyone, it's only a matter of time before a minority unfairly gets a promotion instead of him. Just watch and see. Why, over in Ohio..."  Fatally socially awkward as well as conspiracy minded, like people who mention a Star Wars parallel to every single comment you make, or who manage to bring a slight they suffered in 8th grade into every conversation. They can't adjust the topic to the general topic at hand, but keep trying to shift the topic back to their favorite conspiracy. My solution to these people is to see them in very small doses, and then to say, when in person, "Enough with the [whatever], let Janet talk."

Unfortunately, I have the second type in my family and they are a major pain in my ass.

Well, (taking a wild guess) if they are 'right wingers' and you are a 'leftie' then they have some idea which media outlets you more than likely frequent, so they may suspect that you are giving some credence to certain journalists, the worst of whom character-assassinate them ('bigots, haters'). And Juan Williams is one of those who seems to suspect people who are not self-identified liberals of nearly free floating hatred. So what you're looking at it is, a society that wants a culture war shall get one.
We can always keep the conversation away from politics at dinner time. Keeping the alcohol to a minimum helps me.

ETA: without knowing Ryan Holiday or his political bent I can easily infer this could well have been written about the political left. Though Williams thinks it makes his case against the right:

"As Ryan Holiday, a media critic, famously wrote, the more hateful and threatening the language, the more time people will spend looking at it because "people like getting pissed off almost as much as they like actual porn."

Also -- what is this assumption of mass use of pornography, Mr. Williams? A little projection perhaps? I do not watch porn and do not appreciate the insinuation.

Is there a way for either side to refrain from accusing the other of hatred? Maybe not, at this time.

[smallcleanrat]

Thankfully, at least when I Zoom with family members (as rarely as possible) they match the Type 1 you describe rather than the Johnny-one-note Type 2.

Weather, past travel, family and pets are mostly safe.

That's good for about an hour, all told, and then it's time to hang up.

We'd never correspond or talk if they were Type 2.

M.

I think I have family members who have Type 1 days and Type 2 days.

I never initiate conversation on anything political with my dad. Some days that goes just fine. Other days...wow.

Pets are usually a safe topic. I like pets, Dad likes pets, pet-related chats tend to go quite pleasantly.

But one day I mentioned our neighbors adopted a Corgi puppy. The puppy was extraordinarily cute, to the point he was drawing crowds with people asking the owner if they could take selfies with him as if he were a celebrity. I thought it was amusing so I shared the story with Dad. Dad's response: "haha, yup Corgis sure are cute, but it makes me sad the way liberals are trying to ruin democracy."

um...what?

It sounds exaggerated, but that's really how abrupt the transition was.

I couldn't fully follow his explanation for why the Corgi story prompted that thought. It was something like: Corgis have shorter legs than most dog breeds. Some people think Corgis are too short. Some people think Corgis shouldn't even exist (dunno if that's related to people thinking they're too short). Because they think some dogs shouldn't exist, people build activism campaigns for restrictions on irresponsible breeding. This is a form of telling people what they can and can't do. Liberals love to tell people what they can and can't do. It's really sad that liberals hate freedom.

I didn't know what to say to that. All I could do was blink at him in mute confusion.