Student traumatized by maintenance workers

[Caracal]

I think the problem here is that the student put his (?) objections in an op-ed, as if they were a norm or a template.

People do have all kinds of objections to things, some silly, some less so. I once worked in a place where a co-worker went ballistic because the maintenance people had opened the package of toilet paper and left some sitting in the bag while waiting to be put on the roll. My co-worker thought that this would pollute the toilet paper and make it unsafe (but not when it got put on the roll — don't ask me, I'm just reporting).

But in the long run, as far as the bigger picture, the whole thing is a tempest in a teapot. "College student expresses immaturity." Headline news?

Exactly. It is a perfectly reasonable thing to be mildly to moderately annoyed about. It is irritating and stressful to know that some people are going to need to come into your living space at an unspecified time during the day. If you come back from class, can you take a nap? If you go take a shower are you going to come back in your towel and open your door to find 4 people putting in the radiator?

There are also ways in which dorm living gives students fewer rights in their space than renters. You have to allow your landlord to make repairs, but unless those repairs are urgent, they can't just tell you they are going to come fix something at some random time. You get to tell them "actually, Wednesday isn't good for me."

Is any of this important and consequential? Of course not. Is it worth writing an editorial about? No. You actually get a pretty good window into how everyone else because the student reports asking people if they were also outraged and angry. The response is basically, "yeah, that was kind of annoying, oh well."

I don't think the student feels this way because of the rhetoric of safe spaces and victimhood. Rather, they were grumpy and anxious  about this, and they are reaching for this available rhetoric to try to elevate this above the mundane and the personal into some larger and more important problem. I try to do this all the time with my petty annoyances. I just have enough self awareness to realize that this isn't a great subject for an op-ed. That said, go to a faculty meeting and you'll hear from a lot of people who try to turn trivial annoyances into matters of great import...

[ciao_yall]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

It depends on what the person's solution was.

If it was, "These people in front of me have nothing to do with what happened to me, and I need to accept people for who they are, not for whom they remind me of..." then, that's a pretty healthy realization as part of maturing.

If it is, "Therefore all people of this ethnicity need to hide away in society and apologize for their existence so I can be more comfortable living my daily life and not bother to check my assumptions," then, that's a problem.

[mahagonny]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

It depends on what the person's solution was.

If it was, "These people in front of me have nothing to do with what happened to me, and I need to accept people for who they are, not for whom they remind me of..." then, that's a pretty healthy realization as part of maturing.

If it is, "Therefore all people of this ethnicity need to hide away in society and apologize for their existence so I can be more comfortable living my daily life and not bother to check my assumptions," then, that's a problem.

How about if the victim were themselves black, and decided as a consequence 'I'm going to move out of downtown Baltimore MD into a white neighborhood where my family can be safer.' Assumptions about race at work?

ETA: BTW, no one ever says anything like that (italic). Many years ago some did. You might like to have a look at Bill Maher's 'progressophobia' speech.

[Caracal]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

[marshwiggle]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

Are you comfortable with everyone stating in print what groups they believe more dangerous than other groups?

[jimbogumbo]

This a lot of posting about, as Caracal said, an op-ed in a student newspaper. I've seen a ton of stuff in  student newspapers located at Midwest publics that made little sense, and I'm sure the writers felt the same with the passage of time. Pre interwebz, no one would notice.

I'd also like to gently remind folks that I'm sure the student does have severe anxiety. It is really tough for a trans person to get comfortable in life. I'm going to guess from my experiences that the student has been  struggling for years.

[marshwiggle]

This a lot of posting about, as Caracal said, an op-ed in a student newspaper. I've seen a ton of stuff in  student newspapers located at Midwest publics that made little sense, and I'm sure the writers felt the same with the passage of time. Pre interwebz, no one would notice.

I'd also like to gently remind folks that I'm sure the student does have severe anxiety. It is really tough for a trans person to get comfortable in life. I'm going to guess from my experiences that the student has been  struggling for years.

And where are the adults in this student's life to calmly explain that this a  very normal life situation, and there is no reason for alarm, etc.? Or are they sympathizing with all of this anxiety as though it is well-founded?

Someone this overcome by having to interact with "strangers" is likely to wind up an isolated *agoraphobe. Is anyone the student listens to actually willing to say that this hypersensitivity is unwarranted?


(*Even more than now....)

[jimbogumbo]

This a lot of posting about, as Caracal said, an op-ed in a student newspaper. I've seen a ton of stuff in  student newspapers located at Midwest publics that made little sense, and I'm sure the writers felt the same with the passage of time. Pre interwebz, no one would notice.

I'd also like to gently remind folks that I'm sure the student does have severe anxiety. It is really tough for a trans person to get comfortable in life. I'm going to guess from my experiences that the student has been  struggling for years.

And where are the adults in this student's life to calmly explain that this a  very normal life situation, and there is no reason for alarm, etc.? Or are they sympathizing with all of this anxiety as though it is well-founded?

Someone this overcome by having to interact with "strangers" is likely to wind up an isolated *agoraphobe. Is anyone the student listens to actually willing to say that this hypersensitivity is unwarranted?


(*Even more than now....)

Would that do any good, especially in the short term? To me that is like someone saying "jimbo, you don't have anything to be depressed about"; probably true, but it wouldn't work in my case. SSRIs do, but good advice, not so much. Mental health is complicated.

[Wahoo Redux]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

Are you comfortable with everyone stating in print what groups they believe more dangerous than other groups?

You can look this up, you know.

Statistically men ARE more dangerous than women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/men-more-violent.htm

[Wahoo Redux]

I wonder if the author of the op-ed is a victim of some violence in his past.

[mahagonny]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

Are you comfortable with everyone stating in print what groups they believe more dangerous than other groups?

You can look this up, you know.

Statistically men ARE more dangerous than women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/men-more-violent.htm

But when they're safe, they're really safe. Like, for example ex-marines and firemen. Lucas McCain.
ETA: Statistics about violence are extremely racist, too.
The white man has lost his entitlement to basic human dignity, his positive identity, in our society, and there are people in our midst who obviously intend for that to happen. Richard Spencer is not wrong about that, although I am not a fan of his methods or rhetoric generally.

For me, with the exception of my youth as a much smaller than average boy, women have appeared more dangerous, and have caused much more anxiety, because they can accuse you of things, things that tend to stick. This has been the experience of friends of mine. But now that I have discovered that my true self is gender non-binary...

I wonder if the author of the op-ed is a victim of some violence in his past.

Most boys have been both victims and perpetrators of violence. As Jordan Peterson, clinical psychologist explains, males lash out physically and females lash out verbally. Though neither does so exclusively.

[marshwiggle]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

Are you comfortable with everyone stating in print what groups they believe more dangerous than other groups?

You can look this up, you know.

Statistically men ARE more dangerous than women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/men-more-violent.htm

And statistically, "fish" are probably more dangerous than "birds". If you're snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef, this may be relevant, but if you're deciding whether to have a budgie or a goldfish for a pet, it isn't.
Similarly, if you're walking on a dark, empty street at night, you may be in more danger from a man than from a woman, but when the college has employees (or contractors) working in several rooms (and possibly several buildings) during daylight and where the students probably don't even have to be there, it's like the budgie or goldfish situation.

[Caracal]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

Are you comfortable with everyone stating in print what groups they believe more dangerous than other groups?

You can look this up, you know.

Statistically men ARE more dangerous than women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/men-more-violent.htm

And statistically, "fish" are probably more dangerous than "birds". If you're snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef, this may be relevant, but if you're deciding whether to have a budgie or a goldfish for a pet, it isn't.
Similarly, if you're walking on a dark, empty street at night, you may be in more danger from a man than from a woman, but when the college has employees (or contractors) working in several rooms (and possibly several buildings) during daylight and where the students probably don't even have to be there, it's like the budgie or goldfish situation.

None of us are arguing this is a reasonable fear in this situation...

[marshwiggle]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

Are you comfortable with everyone stating in print what groups they believe more dangerous than other groups?

You can look this up, you know.

Statistically men ARE more dangerous than women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/men-more-violent.htm

And statistically, "fish" are probably more dangerous than "birds". If you're snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef, this may be relevant, but if you're deciding whether to have a budgie or a goldfish for a pet, it isn't.
Similarly, if you're walking on a dark, empty street at night, you may be in more danger from a man than from a woman, but when the college has employees (or contractors) working in several rooms (and possibly several buildings) during daylight and where the students probably don't even have to be there, it's like the budgie or goldfish situation.

None of us are arguing this is a reasonable fear in this situation...

Perhaps not, but none of the people expressing sympathy for the student seem willing to do so on the grounds that this is a mental health issue serious enough that treatment is required. In other words, one can claim to be an "ally" of this student by essentially supporting this distorted view of reality, (or at least not directly challenging it), rather than trying to help the student correct it. "Lived *experience" is a force field that must not be penetrated. Anyone attempting to do so is evil.

(*"Experience" essentially means "emotional response and fallible memory"; i.e. how one felt about , and what one remembers of,  their experience, rather than the objective facts.)


If someone said, "We shouldn't make fun of this student because this is clearly someone with serious mental health problems which need to be addressed", then I could completely agree with that.

[jimbogumbo]

I'm curious. If a student or someone they know had been attacked by a black gang member, and expressed in print anxiety about being around all black men, or if the student or someone that they knew had suffered or died due to Islamic extremists, and the student expressed in print their anxiety around all Muslim men, would you be so supportive?

I'm pretty comfortable with my beliefs that men, as a group, are more dangerous than women...

Are you comfortable with everyone stating in print what groups they believe more dangerous than other groups?

You can look this up, you know.

Statistically men ARE more dangerous than women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_differences_in_crime

https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/men-more-violent.htm

And statistically, "fish" are probably more dangerous than "birds". If you're snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef, this may be relevant, but if you're deciding whether to have a budgie or a goldfish for a pet, it isn't.
Similarly, if you're walking on a dark, empty street at night, you may be in more danger from a man than from a woman, but when the college has employees (or contractors) working in several rooms (and possibly several buildings) during daylight and where the students probably don't even have to be there, it's like the budgie or goldfish situation.

None of us are arguing this is a reasonable fear in this situation...

Perhaps not, but none of the people expressing sympathy for the student seem willing to do so on the grounds that this is a mental health issue serious enough that treatment is required. In other words, one can claim to be an "ally" of this student by essentially supporting this distorted view of reality, (or at least not directly challenging it), rather than trying to help the student correct it. "Lived *experience" is a force field that must not be penetrated. Anyone attempting to do so is evil.

(*"Experience" essentially means "emotional response and fallible memory"; i.e. how one felt about , and what one remembers of,  their experience, rather than the objective facts.)


If someone said, "We shouldn't make fun of this student because this is clearly someone with serious mental health problems which need to be addressed", then I could completely agree with that.

I believe I did exactly the bolded portion, so "none" hurts my feelings a little.