Talking to students and colleagues like children

[adel9216]

I have an issue with professors who talk to students (undergraduate OR graduate) like children.

I don't have a top-down approach when it comes to talking to students and colleagues, and I don't think it is necessary to have one to maintain authority and credibility.

I treat people like human beings and it serves me well.

I do believe that many academics should learn to treat others on equal footing. The person you're trying to crush without even knowing their record/background might be your next Nobel prize winner, and you might not know it.

It's absolutely possible to give advice, recommendations without being arrogant.

If there's one thing that pisses me off about academics and academia, I would say it's that. Lots of academics lack "people" or "soft" skills that are increasingly needed in our world.

Just because you've had it rough does not mean you need to make it rough for those who come after you. It should be the opposite.

And yes, you can treat people like people and still be competent. I witness it everday.

Some of the most successful academics I've had the pleasure to work with had good "people", "soft" skills. True leadership.

Thank God, I've found a network of excellent academics who are proving everyday that it's possible to treat colleagues and students with collegiality.

Thank God I have colleagues, full professors, and others in the field that talk to me like the adult and competent woman that I am.

/end of rant

[Mobius]

FWIW, some college students can't handle being talked to like adults. By that, I mean they can't handle any discussions where their opinions are challenged or involves accountability.

[Ruralguy]

I often talk to my (young) child as if she were an adult. She deserves it, much of the time. I talk to my significantly older students like younger children sometimes because they acted in ways that led to them deserving it. I am not insulting or degrading. Let them think I'm a meanie ( I am not) who they can curse when they win the Nobel, which I predict, none will, though a few percent will do quite well. More or less they are the ones who only needed light critique from professors and were conversed with as adults most of the time.

[Ruralguy]

As far as colleagues go, I agree that it would be a very rare situation in which Id speak to an adult as I would a child. Usually it would only be if I think they acted like an obnoxious jerk.

But Adel, could you explain a scenario in which a colleague spoke to you as if you were a child?  I am trying to get a sense of what you are getting at.

[mahagonny]

Maturity is an ideal; it's not this person as opposed to that person. I heard that one should talk to any person as though they are what you hope they will become. Or maybe talk to that person's best representation.
Certain things are lost on college students. They have limited sense of irony and things like self-deprecation. When you have one student who's a lot older than the others it is striking, sometimes, how their reactions are different from the others', and showing greater sensibility.

[mleok]

But Adel, could you explain a scenario in which a colleague spoke to you as if you were a child?  I am trying to get a sense of what you are getting at.

I can't help but wonder if this is in response to some of the comments I made on another thread of hers.

[smallcleanrat]

I have an issue with professors who talk to students (undergraduate OR graduate) like children.

I don't have a top-down approach when it comes to talking to students and colleagues, and I don't think it is necessary to have one to maintain authority and credibility.

I treat people like human beings and it serves me well.
............

Are children not human beings...?

Could you give a specific example of what you're talking about?

[mamselle]

But Adel, could you explain a scenario in which a colleague spoke to you as if you were a child?  I am trying to get a sense of what you are getting at.

I can't help but wonder if this is in response to some of the comments I made on another thread of hers.

+1

I had the same thought when I saw the thread title.

M.

[mleok]

But Adel, could you explain a scenario in which a colleague spoke to you as if you were a child?  I am trying to get a sense of what you are getting at.

I can't help but wonder if this is in response to some of the comments I made on another thread of hers.

+1

I had the same thought when I saw the thread title.

M.

In reading the thread from last year and the interaction with polly, I am absolutely certain this thread is a passive aggressive response to what I said when she asked about guest editing. Having written a book, I would have echoed polly's advice in that thread. The only difference is that I'm a tenured full professor at a R1, so the OP can't just dismiss my comments as projections of a failed academic.

[mahagonny]

But Adel, could you explain a scenario in which a colleague spoke to you as if you were a child?  I am trying to get a sense of what you are getting at.

I can't help but wonder if this is in response to some of the comments I made on another thread of hers.

+1

I had the same thought when I saw the thread title.

M.

In reading the thread from last year and the interaction with polly, I am absolutely certain this thread is a passive aggressive response to what I said when she asked about guest editing. Having written a book, I would have echoed polly's advice in that thread. The only difference is that I'm a tenured full professor at a R1, so the OP can't just dismiss my comments as projections of a failed academic.

Wow, is that ever a loaded phrase!

[mleok]

But Adel, could you explain a scenario in which a colleague spoke to you as if you were a child?  I am trying to get a sense of what you are getting at.

I can't help but wonder if this is in response to some of the comments I made on another thread of hers.

+1

I had the same thought when I saw the thread title.

M.

In reading the thread from last year and the interaction with polly, I am absolutely certain this thread is a passive aggressive response to what I said when she asked about guest editing. Having written a book, I would have echoed polly's advice in that thread. The only difference is that I'm a tenured full professor at a R1, so the OP can't just dismiss my comments as projections of a failed academic.

Wow, is that ever a loaded phrase!

To be clear, I don't consider polly to be a failed academic, I think that people with STEM training like her are often better off working in industry, and many of my former students have chosen a similar route. I am simply distilling what seems to be the insinuation in this post by adel in reference to polly.

You are condescending and arrogant, and you come off as a know-it-all when in fact, all I can see is how frustrated you feel about your life and you're just lashing out on me because you take me as a target. You clearly need to do some introspection to understand some of the reasons why you feel that need. It has nothing to do about me at the end of the day.

[Ruralguy]

I think a picture is now painted, but I await a response from Adel.

[Mobius]

I perceive adel to be difficult.

[Cheerful]

The person you're trying to crush without even knowing their record/background might be your next Nobel prize winner, and you might not know it.

Unlikely.

[Langue_doc]

Reminds me of the character from "Men in Black" who says "We're the best of the best of the best. Sir!"