Talking to students and colleagues like children

[hungry_ghost]

It appears that OP has GCF'd.

[Mobius]

The parable of the super eager grad student (as seen here and elsewhere with other individuals ) goes like this. Super eager grad student wants to do everything possible to get ahead, and the process starts now! The super eager grad student asks for advice on whether the latest new shiny thing is helpful. Others say it depends, and cautions super eager grad student to remain focused on the finish line (defending a dissertation/thesis) and don't get lost on the way (journal editing, more teaching, facilitating workshops, graduate student government). Super eager grad student is not content with focusing on their thesis/dissertation or a paper that could get published. Super eager grad student wants to do everything and everyone who cautions them is just a hater. Super eager grad student eventually struggles to finish due to lack of focus on the finish line.

[Puget]

We should have a thread on students studentsplaining to professors how ACTUALLY their advice is stupid and they already have it all figured out so they aren't sure why they bothered asking us old stupid people anyway.

[FishProf]

We should have a thread on students studentsplaining to professors how ACTUALLY their advice is stupid and they already have it all figured out so they aren't sure why they bothered asking us old stupid people anyway.

Does it include the students who come back after three years of failing to get into Med School to ask what I think they should do? (Why would you ask now?  You have completely rejected all my advice previously - what has changed?)

[TreadingLife]

It appears that OP has GCF'd.

GCF'd translation? I doubt it is greatest common factored but that's all I could think of/find online. lol

[Puget]

It appears that OP has GCF'd.

GCF'd translation? I doubt it is greatest common factored but that's all I could think of/find online. lol

Goodbye cruel fora. An old joke here/old version for posters who (at least claim to) leave forever when they don't like the answers they got to their questions here.

[smallcleanrat]

We should have a thread on students studentsplaining to professors how ACTUALLY their advice is stupid and they already have it all figured out so they aren't sure why they bothered asking us old stupid people anyway.

Does it include the students who come back after three years of failing to get into Med School to ask what I think they should do? (Why would you ask now?  You have completely rejected all my advice previously - what has changed?)

(Slightly) older and (perhaps) a bit wiser?

[ergative]

It appears that OP has GCF'd.

GCF'd translation? I doubt it is greatest common factored but that's all I could think of/find online. lol

Goodbye cruel fora. An old joke here/old version for posters who (at least claim to) leave forever when they don't like the answers they got to their questions here.

It's funny how different online communities develop their own idioms for this phenomenon. In the fanfiction communities I used to frequent back in the livejournal days, this was called a 'flounce'.

[little bongo]

I'm a little torn. Looking at the past posts, OP does seem to have a bit of an attitude--remarks like "Hello, just because I posted here doesn't mean I didn't ask my advisor" read at roughly the maturity level of "So what?", "Ha!" and "So's your old man." On the other hand, yeah, the tone of some forumites does indeed suck--it kept my postings down to about 25 even though I lurked on the old threads since about 2009 or so. Plenty of rudesbies and mockingbird-killers who got a kick out of handing someone their a$$ when they asked a fairly innocent question, to be sure. That kind of thing used to be much more a part of the culture than it is now, I think.

In the end, a lot of the old bromides apply--take what you can use, leave the rest; reap what you sow; and in general, decide what's worth more energy--convincing someone they're wrong, wrong, wrong, or heading to the kitchen to make a nice sandwich.

[Parasaurolophus]

It appears that OP has GCF'd.

GCF'd translation? I doubt it is greatest common factored but that's all I could think of/find online. lol

Goodbye cruel fora. An old joke here/old version for posters who (at least claim to) leave forever when they don't like the answers they got to their questions here.

Oh, right. I was wondering too.

I'm a little torn. Looking at the past posts, OP does seem to have a bit of an attitude--remarks like "Hello, just because I posted here doesn't mean I didn't ask my advisor" read at roughly the maturity level of "So what?", "Ha!" and "So's your old man." On the other hand, yeah, the tone of some forumites does indeed suck--it kept my postings down to about 25 even though I lurked on the old threads since about 2009 or so. Plenty of rudesbies and mockingbird-killers who got a kick out of handing someone their a$$ when they asked a fairly innocent question, to be sure. That kind of thing used to be much more a part of the culture than it is now, I think.

In the end, a lot of the old bromides apply--take what you can use, leave the rest; reap what you sow; and in general, decide what's worth more energy--convincing someone they're wrong, wrong, wrong, or heading to the kitchen to make a nice sandwich.

Yeah. larryc was a total dick entirely out of the blue (even in retrospect, I think that's a fair assessment) when I first joined the old forum. But the joke's on him, because (1) I'm generally amenable to an internet fight, and (2) I bear grudges--no matter how minor--forever, even though I don't act on them, and every time I do something to prove him wrong, I think of him and smirk in self-satisfaction (that's his punishment).

[ciao_yall]

What I always appreciated about the fora is the clear-eyed advice. Maybe it's a little rough at times but if you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the question in the first place.

I found the fora looking to learn more about Higher Ed. And I have learned a lot and made new friends.

[little bongo]

I absolutely get that response, Parasaurolophus. I've often gotten a kick out of imagining my adversaries, real and imagined, in person or on the web, stomping their feet and declaiming, "By the gods, they SUCCEEDED?! Drat and curses!" As I'm certain happens in real life.

ETA: ciao-yall makes a fair point--actually, I think it's why I didn't, and still don't, ask very much. And what am I here to do? Beats me. I mean, some general rubbish about helping to make this place the way I'd like it to be, but I'm not sure that's the whole story. Maybe if I ever get to Senior Member, I'll figure it out.

[mleok]

On the other hand, yeah, the tone of some forumites does indeed suck--it kept my postings down to about 25 even though I lurked on the old threads since about 2009 or so. Plenty of rudesbies and mockingbird-killers who got a kick out of handing someone their a$$ when they asked a fairly innocent question, to be sure. That kind of thing used to be much more a part of the culture than it is now, I think.

What specific examples of responses to the OP exhibit a tone that sucks?

[mamselle]

De...gustibus, or something--it's also fair to say that people have different perceptions of different people/persona/avatars, etc.

Just for the record, I know larryc in real life and found him to be very kind in person.

I know he likes to spout short, pithy observations but they're usually based in truth, however un-sugar-coated they might be.

I've met other folks in real life whom I've liked, only to find their online personae unimaginably difficult; it's a range of possible matches/mis-matches.

Having gone to many meetups (when we used to do those), there are several people I (and many others!) know first-hand, in many different places, so I'd say it's a fair mix.

M.

[apl68]

What I always appreciated about the fora is the clear-eyed advice. Maybe it's a little rough at times but if you don't want to hear the answers, don't ask the question in the first place.

I found the fora looking to learn more about Higher Ed. And I have learned a lot and made new friends.

That's the reason why I'm here.  I gave up on my bid for academia long ago, but the Fora helps me to keep an eye on what's going on in that world.  And there are some nice people here.