Talking to students and colleagues like children

[little bongo]

On the other hand, yeah, the tone of some forumites does indeed suck--it kept my postings down to about 25 even though I lurked on the old threads since about 2009 or so. Plenty of rudesbies and mockingbird-killers who got a kick out of handing someone their a$$ when they asked a fairly innocent question, to be sure. That kind of thing used to be much more a part of the culture than it is now, I think.

What specific examples of responses to the OP exhibit a tone that sucks?

I'm going to go with "Great! How is studying for those comps coming?," circa April 28, 2020. Accepting Mamselle's point about taste (if my very poor Latin skills serve me), as well as other points made about finding nice people, making friends, and all that clear-eyed, unvarnished truth stuff.

One thing I've often puzzled about: the phrase "They don't (or didn't, if they've passed away, for example) suffer fools gladly," often said with admiration and wry nostalgia. IS that always such a great characteristic?

[marshwiggle]

One thing I've often puzzled about: the phrase "They don't (or didn't, if they've passed away, for example) suffer fools gladly," often said with admiration and wry nostalgia. IS that always such a great characteristic?

For me, (and I'd guess for many others), I'm usually not willing to be the meanie who gives people the comeuppance they deserve, but I'm (often secretly) glad to see that there are others who are. So, to answer the question, it would be a pretty brutal world if everyone were like that, but we definitely need a critical mass of them to save us from creeping mediocrity (and worse).

(Think of how many times we talk about how some student behaviour will cost them "in the real world". That's a sign of us not wanting to be the ones to teach those lessons.)

[lightning]

I'm really late to this thread, because I thought, at first, it was about colleagues who spoke to everyone with an elementary school teacher's tone of voice. I suffered under a former VP who ALWAYS spoke like he/she was in front of a class of 2nd graders--even in small meetings, and I came here ready to vent my story.

Now I see that is not what this thread is about. The OP should have used the subject title "Talking to students and colleagues, with disdain."

[Mobius]

It appears that OP has GCF'd.

GCF'd translation? I doubt it is greatest common factored but that's all I could think of/find online. lol

Goodbye cruel fora. An old joke here/old version for posters who (at least claim to) leave forever when they don't like the answers they got to their questions here.

It's funny how different online communities develop their own idioms for this phenomenon. In the fanfiction communities I used to frequent back in the livejournal days, this was called a 'flounce'.

As King George III said, "You'll be back."

[mleok]

On the other hand, yeah, the tone of some forumites does indeed suck--it kept my postings down to about 25 even though I lurked on the old threads since about 2009 or so. Plenty of rudesbies and mockingbird-killers who got a kick out of handing someone their a$$ when they asked a fairly innocent question, to be sure. That kind of thing used to be much more a part of the culture than it is now, I think.

What specific examples of responses to the OP exhibit a tone that sucks?

I'm going to go with "Great! How is studying for those comps coming?," circa April 28, 2020.

That's the best that you can do? I guess we're expected to treat people seeking advice like they're snowflakes, unique and fragile.

[little bongo]

On the other hand, yeah, the tone of some forumites does indeed suck--it kept my postings down to about 25 even though I lurked on the old threads since about 2009 or so. Plenty of rudesbies and mockingbird-killers who got a kick out of handing someone their a$$ when they asked a fairly innocent question, to be sure. That kind of thing used to be much more a part of the culture than it is now, I think.

What specific examples of responses to the OP exhibit a tone that sucks?

I'm going to go with "Great! How is studying for those comps coming?," circa April 28, 2020.

That's the best that you can do? I guess we're expected to treat people seeking advice like they're snowflakes, unique and fragile.

I guess it loses something out of context. It's worth remembering that OP said on a couple of occasions, "I asked you to stop harassing me," and these requests were ignored. Now, one could go back and forth a long, long time as to whether or not OP was truly harassed, but in this case, they believed they were, and I think the respectful thing to do would be to, well, stop.

My wild and completely crazy idea? Treat people seeking advice like people seeking advice.

And come to think of it--we are all pretty freaking unique, although we might not all be as fragile as the Old Man's important Christmas Story award.

[mleok]

My wild and completely crazy idea? Treat people seeking advice like people seeking advice.

I would like to think we do that, we're just not in the business of dispensing affirmation for what we consider to be foolhardy actions.

[Caracal]

My wild and completely crazy idea? Treat people seeking advice like people seeking advice.

I would like to think we do that, we're just not in the business of dispensing affirmation for what we consider to be foolhardy actions.

Sure, but there's no reason to be a jerk about it. Feel free to say it's the wrong question, or suggest that the poster might want to rethink some of their ideas and assumptions.

I didn't really follow the beginnings of this, so maybe the original response was in that vein and OP just took offense. Things have been a lot more pleasant here of late, mostly because posters who seemed to not be able to distinguish between honest advice and unpleasant personal attacks have gone elsewhere. Sometimes people take well meaning advice as an attack and that can't be helped, but worth making sure we aren't exacerbating things by being mean.

[mleok]

Sure, but there's no reason to be a jerk about it.

Are we being a jerk about it? I don't think anyone is being intentionally mean. At worst, it's an expression of frustration at the OP's chronic inability to accept advice she doesn't wish to hear without lashing out in response.

[hungry_ghost]

I'm a little torn. Looking at the past posts, OP does seem to have a bit of an attitude--remarks like "Hello, just because I posted here doesn't mean I didn't ask my advisor" read at roughly the maturity level of "So what?", "Ha!" and "So's your old man." On the other hand, yeah, the tone of some forumites does indeed suck

Quoting my [trimmed] post on another thread  ... maybe look at this thread?

In response to OP's query,

what should I be aware of before accepting? What does it entail exactly?

traductio wrote this extremely thoughtful response. Para 1: warning signs to avoid. Para. 2 is an excellent explanation of what this job would entail, noting potential pros (if the co-editor is a mentor, this could be a great learning opportunity) and cons (if they stick the junior person with all the work, not so much). Para. 3, another wise warning, which doesn't say don't do it, but offers a point to consider.

First question -- is the journal legit? If it's not one you're immediately familiar with, it might not be worth your time at this point (you're a grad student if I remember right -- please correct me if I'm mistaken). There are a lot of sketchy journals that send out invitations to guest edit an issue that I ignore completely. It's a lot of work, and if the journal is junk, it's a lot of wasted work.

Second question -- you say co-editor. Is the other co-editor a big name in your field? It's nice to have your name associated with a big name, but it's still a lot of work. What will be the co-editor's role? Who will be responsible for managing the peer review process? Who will be responsible for interacting with authors? The one way that co-editing a journal issue would be worth it, in my experience, is if your co-editor is a big name scholar who's not going to stick you with all the work. If it's a scholar who takes their role of mentoring seriously, this could be an excellent opportunity, both to see the nitty-gritty of peer review and for the networking possibilities the co-editor can enable.

Otherwise, it's more work than you can imagine, and more importantly, worth less to hiring committees (to choose a useful metric) than a complete dissertation.

In response, OP didn't say. "Thank you for taking the time, all this is good to know!" Instead, they singled out the perfectly correct statement that co-editing a special journal issue is not as valuable as a done dissertation, ignored the insights into what one might (or might not) gain from this opportunity, and offered this petulant response:

I am capable of completing my dissertation. Just wanted to let you know.

Then, OP started THIS thread, admonishing us not to talk to students and colleagues like children.

[Caracal]

Sure, but there's no reason to be a jerk about it.

Are we being a jerk about it? I don't think anyone is being intentionally mean. At worst, it's an expression of frustration at the OP's chronic inability to accept advice she doesn't wish to hear without lashing out in response.

Yeah, I wasn't saying anyone necessarily was.

[Wahoo Redux]

Yeah. larryc was a total dick entirely out of the blue

I never liked that guy.

[lightning]

Yeah. larryc was a total dick entirely out of the blue

I never liked that guy.

This surprises me. larryc was always one of my favorite posters on the old CHE fora.

[marshwiggle]

Yeah. larryc was a total dick entirely out of the blue

I never liked that guy.

This surprises me. larryc was always one of my favorite posters on the old CHE fora.

My guess is that first impressions matter a lot. If the first time someone responds to us, they agree, we probably tend to look on them favourably afterwards. If they disagree, and maybe with a bit of sarcasm, then we are on guard from then on.

[Wahoo Redux]

Yeah. larryc was a total dick entirely out of the blue

I never liked that guy.

This surprises me. larryc was always one of my favorite posters on the old CHE fora.

My guess is that first impressions matter a lot. If the first time someone responds to us, they agree, we probably tend to look on them favourably afterwards. If they disagree, and maybe with a bit of sarcasm, then we are on guard from then on.

Lar had a good wit but he was very condescending and opinionated, he was a surprisingly arrogant guy considering that we are all just regular ol' academics here, and he assumed he knew a lot more than he did.  I had a throw down with him on the CHE fora over a fairly mild question, mainly because of his responses stating the obvious.  Some posters I read only by accident when I am not paying attention to screennames----old Larry is one of them.