Favorite student emails

[kiana]

Oh, boy! I wonder what students like that are truly expecting us to say? Something like, "Hey, Stu! It's fine, don't worry about the missing work, you don't need to know that stuff anyway! Come to class when you feel like it, do the work when you can, and don't worry about points! It's all good!" My usual answer is along the lines of "See the syllabus for info on late work policies, you have until [date] to get late work turned in. All the reading and assignment info is on the LMS. My office hours are [date/time] and here's info for a tutor if you need one to help you get caught up."

Here's your makeup packet! (containing about an hour of work)

[FishProf]

...with all the work already completed, right?

[jerseyjay]

A student did not turn in an assignment and wrote to me:
"I am sorry that I did not turn in the work because I had a personal affair during the time, but that's not an excuse"

I am fairly sure that this is supposed to be "personal issue" or "personal matter" but it did make me wistful for the time long ago that a personal affair could be so all-encompassing that I stopped thinking of  anything else.

[the_geneticist]

Students are taking a quiz in discussion this week.  I've had 1 student email the claim they didn't get the full X minutes of time.  And another say it somehow wasn't available to them. 
You know my favorite part about online teaching?  I can check these so easily!

Dear student 1,
According to the online report, you logged in at X:00 answered one question, and the quiz automatically submitted after X minutes.

Dear student 2,
According to the online report, you did not attempt to open the quiz until after my email saying you missed the quiz. 


Students: websites do not make that sort of personalized mistake.  If the quiz was unavailable, then NO ONE in your section would see the quiz, not just you.  If the amount of time was wrong, it would be wrong for EVERYONE, not just you.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Student emails me and asks if stu can get the higher grade on the prelab quiz instead of me taking the average of both attempts. Stu also admits that stu knows the rule is if you take the quiz twice, then your grade is the average of both tries.

Um, I don't write up this crap in the syllabus for fun. It's only on the first page of the quiz- if you do it twice, then your grade is the average of both attempts.

Why do students ask these inane questions? Do they learn to do this shit in high school?

Grump. Grump. Grump.

[Anon1787]

Student emails me and asks if stu can get the higher grade on the prelab quiz instead of me taking the average of both attempts. Stu also admits that stu knows the rule is if you take the quiz twice, then your grade is the average of both tries.

Um, I don't write up this crap in the syllabus for fun. It's only on the first page of the quiz- if you do it twice, then your grade is the average of both attempts.

Why do students ask these inane questions? Do they learn to do this shit in high school?

Grump. Grump. Grump.

There's no penalty for asking. You should put a warning on your syllabus stating that making such requests will result in the student receiving the lowest score of all attempts.

[Thursday's_Child]

Students are taking a quiz in discussion this week.  I've had 1 student email the claim they didn't get the full X minutes of time.  And another say it somehow wasn't available to them. 
You know my favorite part about online teaching?  I can check these so easily!

Dear student 1,
According to the online report, you logged in at X:00 answered one question, and the quiz automatically submitted after X minutes.

Dear student 2,
According to the online report, you did not attempt to open the quiz until after my email saying you missed the quiz. 


Students: websites do not make that sort of personalized mistake.  If the quiz was unavailable, then NO ONE in your section would see the quiz, not just you.  If the amount of time was wrong, it would be wrong for EVERYONE, not just you.

I feel for you!  Became utterly sick of such shenanigans (not just the outright lies, but also the brazen cheating, etc.) while forced to teach fully on-line.  I was never so happy to go back to F2F - the risk of catching diseases be d*mned!  It's mildly interesting, in a negative way, how some of the "easy" faculty in my dept. still prefer teaching on-line.

[Langue_doc]

Student emails me and asks if stu can get the higher grade on the prelab quiz instead of me taking the average of both attempts. Stu also admits that stu knows the rule is if you take the quiz twice, then your grade is the average of both tries.

Um, I don't write up this crap in the syllabus for fun. It's only on the first page of the quiz- if you do it twice, then your grade is the average of both attempts.

Why do students ask these inane questions? Do they learn to do this shit in high school?

Grump. Grump. Grump.

Yes, because they've been conditioned to the idea that it's the effort that counts and that it doesn't hurt to ask.

[AmLitHist]

Just when I think I've heard everything. . .

Student presumed that I'd give him an extension on an assignment, despite the no-late-work policy.  I explained that offering him this exception that all other students didn't receive would be unethical and unfair to all the others in the class.  His follow-up:

     Makes sense. Thank you for explaining it.

    Would I be able to get an A in the class even though I missed this assignment?

    If not, is it possible to extend the due date on this one for everyone so that it's fair for all the students?

o_O

I gently (?) replied that it was already fair for all the students as I'd originally handled it, and reminded him that poor planning/time management on his part does NOT constitute an emergency on my part.

I must be burned out/past caring at this point.  Years ago, his request would have at least gotten a rise out of me.  I will admit, though, that my first thought was to reply with, "Why, hell, yes. I'm happy to do as you ask!  In fact, let's just cancel all those deadlines for the entire class for the whole semester--just turn things in if and whenever you feel like it!"

But I didn't. Clearly, I'm losing my touch.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Just when I think I've heard everything. . .

Student presumed that I'd give him an extension on an assignment, despite the no-late-work policy.  I explained that offering him this exception that all other students didn't receive would be unethical and unfair to all the others in the class.  His follow-up:

     Makes sense. Thank you for explaining it.

    Would I be able to get an A in the class even though I missed this assignment?

    If not, is it possible to extend the due date on this one for everyone so that it's fair for all the students?

o_O

I gently (?) replied that it was already fair for all the students as I'd originally handled it, and reminded him that poor planning/time management on his part does NOT constitute an emergency on my part.

I must be burned out/past caring at this point.  Years ago, his request would have at least gotten a rise out of me.  I will admit, though, that my first thought was to reply with, "Why, hell, yes. I'm happy to do as you ask!  In fact, let's just cancel all those deadlines for the entire class for the whole semester--just turn things in if and whenever you feel like it!"

But I didn't. Clearly, I'm losing my touch.

Damn. Well, it's all part of the 'customer service' we need to give. ;)

[Anon1787]

Just when I think I've heard everything. . .

Student presumed that I'd give him an extension on an assignment, despite the no-late-work policy.  I explained that offering him this exception that all other students didn't receive would be unethical and unfair to all the others in the class.  His follow-up:

     Makes sense. Thank you for explaining it.

    Would I be able to get an A in the class even though I missed this assignment?

I dislike the expectation that a student should be able to miss an assignment or fail an exam and still be able to earn an "A" in the course. IMHO, the highest grade is supposed reflect a consistently high level of performance.

[apl68]

Just when I think I've heard everything. . .

Student presumed that I'd give him an extension on an assignment, despite the no-late-work policy.  I explained that offering him this exception that all other students didn't receive would be unethical and unfair to all the others in the class.  His follow-up:

     Makes sense. Thank you for explaining it.

    Would I be able to get an A in the class even though I missed this assignment?

I dislike the expectation that a student should be able to miss an assignment or fail an exam and still be able to earn an "A" in the course. IMHO, the highest grade is supposed reflect a consistently high level of performance.

Even simple completion of all assignments in accordance with the broad outlines of the requirements ("I wrote x number of words and cited x number of sources on my paper, just like you said!") shouldn't be an automatic A.  Although from what I've seen on these threads here and at the old Fora, apparently many students believe it should.  And have perhaps learned that that is the case in their K-12 experience.

[marshwiggle]

Just when I think I've heard everything. . .

Student presumed that I'd give him an extension on an assignment, despite the no-late-work policy.  I explained that offering him this exception that all other students didn't receive would be unethical and unfair to all the others in the class.  His follow-up:

     Makes sense. Thank you for explaining it.

    Would I be able to get an A in the class even though I missed this assignment?

I dislike the expectation that a student should be able to miss an assignment or fail an exam and still be able to earn an "A" in the course. IMHO, the highest grade is supposed reflect a consistently high level of performance.

The problem with the "miss an assignment" restriction on being able to get an A is that many people use the practice of dropping one (quiz, assignment, whatever) as a way to not have to vet every potential excuse. Requiring every assignment to be submitted gets back to having to vet every excuse, because even the worst students think they can get an A thanks to the Dunning-Kruger effect.

[the_geneticist]

Just when I think I've heard everything. . .

Student presumed that I'd give him an extension on an assignment, despite the no-late-work policy.  I explained that offering him this exception that all other students didn't receive would be unethical and unfair to all the others in the class.  His follow-up:

     Makes sense. Thank you for explaining it.

    Would I be able to get an A in the class even though I missed this assignment?

I dislike the expectation that a student should be able to miss an assignment or fail an exam and still be able to earn an "A" in the course. IMHO, the highest grade is supposed reflect a consistently high level of performance.

Meh.  I'm just fine building in enough small assignments that a student can do poorly on a handful and still earn an A.  Everyone is allowed a "bad week" or being a casualty of the learning curve.

[kiana]

I dislike the expectation that a student should be able to miss an assignment or fail an exam and still be able to earn an "A" in the course. IMHO, the highest grade is supposed reflect a consistently high level of performance.

I guess it would depend on what you mean by "assignment".

In the lower-level math classes, I have a fair amount of formative assignments that are deliberately low-stakes, and it'd be possible to miss a few and still get an A. An exam? Nah.