Favorite student emails

[Langue_doc]

I wrote a polite but firm no-and-heck-no response.

I usually copy advisors on such emails. That way, Stu's goose is indeed cooked and my behind covered.

[cathwen]

So far, no pushback from the student.  If there is, then I will surely contact the adviser. I was in touch with her adviser early in the semester and at midterm.   I told the student that I plan to enter a grade of UW (unofficial withdrawal) rather than an F, since she has zero equity in the course. 

[research_prof]

Seriously?  Does she think I have nothing better to do with my time than read a pages of hastily thrown together blather?  Does she think she will pass the course if I give her credit for that?

Yes, she does. And guess what: you are just an obstacle for her to get a college degree, which I guess she has heard it might be useful in her life (probably she saw it on Facebook, instagram, Tik Tok, etc.). You just described all the undergraduate students in my class this semester.

[Ruralguy]

I guess I feel a little lucky that only some of my students feel that way, and even some of those that do can be convinced otherwise.

[secundem_artem]

Student wants to appeal her B.  She's certain she got "all A's" on every assignment. 

1.  She's wrong with "all A's".  She's a mix of A's B's C's and an occasional F.

2.  The deadline for a grade appeal is 3 days after grades are posted.  Which in this case would have been late December.

[RatGuy]

Student emails saying that he's going to miss class on Friday for a charity event. He wants permission to submit a writing assignment early. I say he can, but that can't submit more than one assignment at a time, and he must be in class to submit a response. So if he misses on Friday, then he'll only have one opportunity to submit a response (today). His replies

Hey Dr. [no name]
Thanks for the reply! Unfortunately, I still need to submit two responses! I understand what you have said and what is in the syllabus, but I would greatly appreciate if you could have some mercy on me during this Easter week. I did not know it would come to this, and I want to do what I can to fulfill my responsibilities in this class as well as possible. I hope you can understand and come to a decision that benefits the both of us. I have a friend in the slot before whom I could give my Whitman entry to on Friday and have them deliver it safely into your hands.

I tell him that would not be fair to the other students if I made an exception for him and that I have stick to the guidelines on the assignment sheet.

Dr. [misspelled name],
Life is not fair! No wise person ever claimed it was. Does your heart not cry out for compassion for your fellow man? I assure you that my classmates will not mind. I can ask them for us in class today if you would like! The law of charity trumps the law of syllabi. Whom would it harm to be kind to me in this instance? Should I just let all those homeless people starve?

[mamselle]

Dan'l? Dan'l Webster?

Is that you?

M.

[the_geneticist]

Student emails saying that he's going to miss class on Friday for a charity event. He wants permission to submit a writing assignment early. I say he can, but that can't submit more than one assignment at a time, and he must be in class to submit a response. So if he misses on Friday, then he'll only have one opportunity to submit a response (today). His replies

Hey Dr. [no name]
Thanks for the reply! Unfortunately, I still need to submit two responses! I understand what you have said and what is in the syllabus, but I would greatly appreciate if you could have some mercy on me during this Easter week. I did not know it would come to this, and I want to do what I can to fulfill my responsibilities in this class as well as possible. I hope you can understand and come to a decision that benefits the both of us. I have a friend in the slot before whom I could give my Whitman entry to on Friday and have them deliver it safely into your hands.

I tell him that would not be fair to the other students if I made an exception for him and that I have stick to the guidelines on the assignment sheet.

Dr. [misspelled name],
Life is not fair! No wise person ever claimed it was. Does your heart not cry out for compassion for your fellow man? I assure you that my classmates will not mind. I can ask them for us in class today if you would like! The law of charity trumps the law of syllabi. Whom would it harm to be kind to me in this instance? Should I just let all those homeless people starve?

Dear student,
The instructions are in the syllabus.  Your choice of whether to follow them or not

I'd also forward that email to their advisor and the dean.  The student sounds like they are a bit off.

[lightning]

I got one today where the student said he was "confused" about the instructions and expectations.

This is on the easiest assignment of the entire course.

I told him, read the corresponding assigned reading for the week, and the expectations will be obvious. Yeah, that's exactly what I typed.

[Istiblennius]

I have a student who has sent me a couple of emails that are either very reasonable information (to let me know that they were attending a school concert and would miss class and get the alternate assignment) or to ask a question (about a deadline that I mistakenly added to our LMS). The amusing thing is that they always close with "Thank you for taking time out of your life to read this message". I don't know why it strikes me funny, but it does - I feel like they think my life is far busier and more glamorous than it actually is.

[waterboy]

I had this one the other day - makes me wonder how they managed in the actual winter.

Hello,
Sorry I won't be in class today. The snow is bad and I currently don't have the proper clothing for the weather. Just wanted to let you know.
Thanks

[mamselle]

I have a student who has sent me a couple of emails that are either very reasonable information (to let me know that they were attending a school concert and would miss class and get the alternate assignment) or to ask a question (about a deadline that I mistakenly added to our LMS). The amusing thing is that they always close with "Thank you for taking time out of your life to read this message". I don't know why it strikes me funny, but it does - I feel like they think my life is far busier and more glamorous than it actually is.

Maybe one of their folks is a prof and they realize how much goes on.

M.

[Thursday's_Child]

"Hello,

I am confused about assignment 3 which is due. Can you explain in detail the assignment?

Thank you."

Ummm, assignment 3 was due the end of February - two months ago.  It was part of the scaffolding for a large assignment that you have already completed.  So, there is no point in worrying about it now....

I rechecked what Stu turned in for large assignment - the side effects of a lack of attention to the scaffolding assignments were quite evident.

[Langue_doc]

I am emailing you to let you know that I am having trouble with my lap top and will submit the draft when I fix the problem. Hopefully by tonight.

When was the assignment due? 5 PM
Was Stu aware of the deadline? Yes, for more than two weeks.
Can Stu submit hu's assignment "hopefully by tonight"? Alas, no, because the assignment folder was locked at 5 PM.

[RatGuy]

Student emails saying that he's going to miss class on Friday for a charity event. He wants permission to submit a writing assignment early. I say he can, but that can't submit more than one assignment at a time, and he must be in class to submit a response. So if he misses on Friday, then he'll only have one opportunity to submit a response (today). His replies

Hey Dr. [no name]
Thanks for the reply! Unfortunately, I still need to submit two responses! I understand what you have said and what is in the syllabus, but I would greatly appreciate if you could have some mercy on me during this Easter week. I did not know it would come to this, and I want to do what I can to fulfill my responsibilities in this class as well as possible. I hope you can understand and come to a decision that benefits the both of us. I have a friend in the slot before whom I could give my Whitman entry to on Friday and have them deliver it safely into your hands.

I tell him that would not be fair to the other students if I made an exception for him and that I have stick to the guidelines on the assignment sheet.

Dr. [misspelled name],
Life is not fair! No wise person ever claimed it was. Does your heart not cry out for compassion for your fellow man? I assure you that my classmates will not mind. I can ask them for us in class today if you would like! The law of charity trumps the law of syllabi. Whom would it harm to be kind to me in this instance? Should I just let all those homeless people starve?

Student told me in class that he planned on going to my program director so he could make me "make the prudent choice" in letting him have an exception. Then late last night I received this from the student

I talked to the program director and was able to switch my shift to Saturday and can now attend class. I appreciate you for who you are, and I know that you are trying your best to fulfill the responsibilities of your job. Your identity is perfect, and found most fully in Truth, where the fullness of your being is waiting for you. I hope you come to embrace this identity more and more with every passing moment and become the happiest person you can be.