Favorite student emails

[OneMoreYear]

Consecutive emails from CONFUSED grad student, all on the same day:

Student Email #1: Is there a dropbox folder for [assignment]. I can't find it. I'm confused how I'm supposed to submit if there is no dropbox.
OMTY Email #1: The dropbox is entitled [NAME OF ASSIGNMENT]. (Note, there are only 1 dropbox open for this course in the student view).

Student Email #2: I'm confused about the data we should use. I found this [totally wrong thing on the LMS] and the numbers don't match.
OMY Email #2: I passed out the data in class today.  The [thing you found] is relevant to [correct thing it applies to].

Student Email #3: I got #X wrong on the quiz. I'm confused.
OMY Email #3: Look in [resource] to determine how to do question X.

Student Email #4: So, just to clarify, is the answer Z? I was confused because of [completely obvious thing].
OMY Email #4: Look in [resource] to determine how to do question X. You have 3 opportunities to take the quiz. (Note, low stakes quizzes with several attempts allowed).

Can't wait for the next installment of how I am so confusing.

[Anon1787]

Stu is seeking to withdraw from my GE course because Stu spends about 3 hours per week on homework for each course in Stu's major, which doesn't leave much time in Stu's schedule for my course.

Dear Stu:

According to federal regulations, a credit hour is defined as "the amount of work represented in intended learning outcomes and verified by evidence of student achievement that is an institutionally established equivalency that reasonably approximates not less than one hour of classroom or direct faculty instruction and a minimum of two hours of out-of-class student work each week for approximately 15 weeks for one semester." Hence you should expect to spend 6 hours per week on homework for a 3 credit hour course. If you're only spending half of that time on the courses in your major, then you should have plenty of time to do the work for my course!

[OneMoreYear]

Student: Hi Dr. OMY, I've completely messed up [specification for assignment]. Is that okay?

Me: ?????

[Langue_doc]

Student: Hi Dr. OMY, I've completely messed up [specification for assignment]. Is that okay?

Me: ?????

You're supposed to pat Stu on the head and say "There, there, there. Don't you worry about it. I'll see that you get full credit for this assignment."

[the_geneticist]

I am getting more emails than usual from students demanding to be excused from missing lab.  Not asking, not inquiring about options.
Nope. You options are: go to your class, get permission to attend another section, or complete an alternate version of the assignment that will probably take you just as long as if you actually went to class.
This is all in the syllabus.

The current "winner" is a student demanding to be excused from all labs for the rest of the quarter due to an upcoming minor surgery.

[apl68]

A lot of reluctance to go to labs being reported on the Fora this semester.

[dr_evil]

A lot of reluctance to go to labs being reported on the Fora this semester.

For my classes, I think it might be because I have one of the last hybrid sections. Since part of the class is online, the students want all of it to be online, I guess. I'm very cynical about the current group.

[OneMoreYear]

Two very different emails:

Yesterday, from PITA grad student (only lightly paraphrased): I think I have COVID or a sinus infection or a really bad cold. I need extensions on all of my work and also "if you could just [do thing for me that I already told her I would not do] that would be great."  I hear the boss from Office Space in my head reading her emails.

Yesterday, from grad student for whom my heart breaks give what they are going through this semester (paraphrased): I was informed yesterday that I need to take my mother off of life-support. I was wondering if it was possible to have a week's extension on the work this week. I should not need an extension for anything due next week.

[marshwiggle]

Two very different emails:

Yesterday, from PITA grad student (only lightly paraphrased): I think I have COVID or a sinus infection or a really bad cold. I need extensions on all of my work and also "if you could just [do thing for me that I already told her I would not do] that would be great."  I hear the boss from Office Space in my head reading her emails.

Yesterday, from grad student for whom my heart breaks give what they are going through this semester (paraphrased): I was informed yesterday that I need to take my mother off of life-support. I was wondering if it was possible to have a week's extension on the work this week. I should not need an extension for anything due next week.

The sad thing is that if the first student saw the second student's email, she probably wouldn't even clue in about how different her request is, and even more so, how different her attitude is.

[MarathonRunner]

Two very different emails:

Yesterday, from PITA grad student (only lightly paraphrased): I think I have COVID or a sinus infection or a really bad cold. I need extensions on all of my work and also "if you could just [do thing for me that I already told her I would not do] that would be great."  I hear the boss from Office Space in my head reading her emails.

Yesterday, from grad student for whom my heart breaks give what they are going through this semester (paraphrased): I was informed yesterday that I need to take my mother off of life-support. I was wondering if it was possible to have a week's extension on the work this week. I should not need an extension for anything due next week.

The sad thing is that if the first student saw the second student's email, she probably wouldn't even clue in about how different her request is, and even more so, how different her attitude is.

Since COVID is a death sentence for many, sadly, if the first student does have COVID, then they aren't that different. Apparently many have decided COVID doesn't cause mortality or morbidity, when the evidence shows it sadly causes both. 

[marshwiggle]

Two very different emails:

Yesterday, from PITA grad student (only lightly paraphrased): I think I have COVID or a sinus infection or a really bad cold. I need extensions on all of my work and also "if you could just [do thing for me that I already told her I would not do] that would be great."  I hear the boss from Office Space in my head reading her emails.

Yesterday, from grad student for whom my heart breaks give what they are going through this semester (paraphrased): I was informed yesterday that I need to take my mother off of life-support. I was wondering if it was possible to have a week's extension on the work this week. I should not need an extension for anything due next week.

The sad thing is that if the first student saw the second student's email, she probably wouldn't even clue in about how different her request is, and even more so, how different her attitude is.

Since COVID is a death sentence for many, sadly, if the first student does have COVID, then they aren't that different. Apparently many have decided COVID doesn't cause mortality or morbidity, when the evidence shows it sadly causes both.

But the request for the prof to do what the prof had already explicitly refused to do  suggests it's more about the student's sense of entitlement than their experience of COVID.

[OneMoreYear]

Two very different emails:

Yesterday, from PITA grad student (only lightly paraphrased): I think I have COVID or a sinus infection or a really bad cold. I need extensions on all of my work and also "if you could just [do thing for me that I already told her I would not do] that would be great."  I hear the boss from Office Space in my head reading her emails.

Yesterday, from grad student for whom my heart breaks give what they are going through this semester (paraphrased): I was informed yesterday that I need to take my mother off of life-support. I was wondering if it was possible to have a week's extension on the work this week. I should not need an extension for anything due next week.

The sad thing is that if the first student saw the second student's email, she probably wouldn't even clue in about how different her request is, and even more so, how different her attitude is.

Since COVID is a death sentence for many, sadly, if the first student does have COVID, then they aren't that different. Apparently many have decided COVID doesn't cause mortality or morbidity, when the evidence shows it sadly causes both.

But the request for the prof to do what the prof had already explicitly refused to do  suggests it's more about the student's sense of entitlement than their experience of COVID.

Student does not have COVID. I got the update 1 hour later after they tested negative.    I receive >20 emails from this student each week. I'll admit I'm annoyed when I see their name in my inbox.  I offered reasonable extension for medical illness, as I do for all students.  I do take COVID seriously. My mom is immunocompromised and on oxygen. When she was hospitalized during the pandemic, we were terrified. Students who are sick may come to my classes virtually. I do not require medical notes. Sorry if the vent was inappropriate.

[the_geneticist]

Two very different emails:

Yesterday, from PITA grad student (only lightly paraphrased): I think I have COVID or a sinus infection or a really bad cold. I need extensions on all of my work and also "if you could just [do thing for me that I already told her I would not do] that would be great."  I hear the boss from Office Space in my head reading her emails.

Yesterday, from grad student for whom my heart breaks give what they are going through this semester (paraphrased): I was informed yesterday that I need to take my mother off of life-support. I was wondering if it was possible to have a week's extension on the work this week. I should not need an extension for anything due next week.

The sad thing is that if the first student saw the second student's email, she probably wouldn't even clue in about how different her request is, and even more so, how different her attitude is.

Since COVID is a death sentence for many, sadly, if the first student does have COVID, then they aren't that different. Apparently many have decided COVID doesn't cause mortality or morbidity, when the evidence shows it sadly causes both.

But the request for the prof to do what the prof had already explicitly refused to do  suggests it's more about the student's sense of entitlement than their experience of COVID.

Student does not have COVID. I got the update 1 hour later after they tested negative.    I receive >20 emails from this student each week. I'll admit I'm annoyed when I see their name in my inbox.  I offered reasonable extension for medical illness, as I do for all students.  I do take COVID seriously. My mom is immunocompromised and on oxygen. When she was hospitalized during the pandemic, we were terrified. Students who are sick may come to my classes virtually. I do not require medical notes. Sorry if the vent was inappropriate.

Vent away!  That graduate student sounds like a PITA.  We still have students who think "I might have interacted with someone who might have COVID = get excused from all assignments or responsibility".

[kaysixteen]

Uni students, esp *grad* students, should not claim to have covid before they get a positive test for it.

[MarathonRunner]

Current tests for COVID, especially rapid tests, do not accurately reflect the variants circulating in many places in Canada, the US, and the EU. I would rather give students the benefit of the doubt, given the new variants and how immune evasive they are. I don't want a student with COVID symptoms, whether COVID or not, coming to class, feeling they have to work when they should be resting, or otherwise endangering their health or that of others. Tests aren't infallible. People test negative for many days until testing positive many days later.