Favorite student emails

[Puget]

Not one but several emails from students claiming to have tested positive for COVID.
Response, same as all semester: Sorry to hear that! Please see the instructions on [CMS] for providing your documentation letter from [university testing and contact tracing office].
Students: radio silence.

Earlier in the semester, students were readily providing their documentation letters (which we ask for not only to verify excused absences, but to make sure they actually do report positive tests to the university). I'm sure it's just a complete coincidence that students are having a hard time providing those letters the week after Thanksgiving break.

[mythbuster]

Puget, I'm surprised your Uni is still tracking Covid. We gave up on that over the summer.

[the_geneticist]

I miss the days of "take the [wellness] survey EVERY DAY and then do what it says".  Now, students are supposed to remember that IF they feel sick or test positive (or test negative) they are supposed to take [other survey] that is basically hidden in the depths of the university website.  Then they get an email that tells them what to do: isolate for X days, or no need to isolate at this time. 

I'm tired of students sending me a picture of a positive COVID test.  One, I don't need to see your medical information.  Two, there is NO WAY to know that the test is from you.  Three, that also doesn't tell me the dates you need to isolate.

Now I do what Puget does "Sorry to hear that!  Please fill out [other survey] and email me the reply."

[Puget]

Puget, I'm surprised your Uni is still tracking Covid. We gave up on that over the summer.

We stopped doing surveillance testing, but they are still supposed to go to the health center for testing if symptomatic and report positive rapid tests.
The thing is, if they just claimed to have the flu or something they wouldn't need to send documentation to be excused from class, so lying about a positive covid test is really stupid. 

[sinenomine]

I reached out to a student who missed a bunch of classes in a row and got this response:

Hello Dr.[misspelled]
I was feeling sick this week I had the glue and I just started feeling well today yes I'm trying to keep up. If there's for m to do please let me know

[Puget]

I reached out to a student who missed a bunch of classes in a row and got this response:

Hello Dr.[misspelled]
I was feeling sick this week I had the glue and I just started feeling well today yes I'm trying to keep up. If there's for m to do please let me know

I mean, having the glue, if it was applied to one's posterior, would certainly make it hard to get up and go to class.

[mamselle]

Ha!

Really needed that!

M.

[Anon1787]

I reached out to a student who missed a bunch of classes in a row and got this response:

Hello Dr.[misspelled]
I was feeling sick this week I had the glue and I just started feeling well today yes I'm trying to keep up. If there's for m to do please let me know

Sniffing glue is bad.

[apl68]

I reached out to a student who missed a bunch of classes in a row and got this response:

Hello Dr.[misspelled]
I was feeling sick this week I had the glue and I just started feeling well today yes I'm trying to keep up. If there's for m to do please let me know

Well you've got to admit, the glue will really slow you down.

[dr_evil]

I reached out to a student who missed a bunch of classes in a row and got this response:

Hello Dr.[misspelled]
I was feeling sick this week I had the glue and I just started feeling well today yes I'm trying to keep up. If there's for m to do please let me know

Well you've got to admit, the glue will really slow you down.

It leaves me feeling a bit stuck.

[aside]

I reached out to a student who missed a bunch of classes in a row and got this response:

Hello Dr.[misspelled]
I was feeling sick this week I had the glue and I just started feeling well today yes I'm trying to keep up. If there's for m to do please let me know

Well you've got to admit, the glue will really slow you down.

It leaves me feeling a bit stuck.

On the other hand, it's helpful for putting yourself back together.

[mamselle]

^Unrelated.

I have an excellent high schol senior student of good character who, after a very difficult lesson yesterday, acknowledged his own shortcomings, forgave me mine, and made space for us both to do better.

I'm archiving his text; encouraging to have when so many of his age must be disparaged (as they are, rightfully,  on this thread; they're not all angels...) and thankful to have an opportunity to teach him.

M.

[the_geneticist]

Hi Mr. [first name]
I can't find the study guide.  I've looked everywhere!  What do I do?
[find at finding things student]

It's on the LMS.  It's posted in the module for the week you have the exam.  It's also posted as a link in the Announcements page.  It's even attached to the email that was sent to you with said Announcement.

Also, your exam is TODAY.  "Better late than never" may not apply to studying for a Final Exam.

[Puget]

Hi Mr. [first name]
I can't find the study guide.  I've looked everywhere!  What do I do?
[find at finding things student]

It's on the LMS.  It's posted in the module for the week you have the exam.  It's also posted as a link in the Announcements page.  It's even attached to the email that was sent to you with said Announcement.

Also, your exam is TODAY.  "Better late than never" may not apply to studying for a Final Exam.

I suspect there is a very strong correlation between not being able to find the study guide and not looking for it until the day of the exam.

[the_geneticist]

Hi Mr. [first name]
I can't find the study guide.  I've looked everywhere!  What do I do?
[find at finding things student]

It's on the LMS.  It's posted in the module for the week you have the exam.  It's also posted as a link in the Announcements page.  It's even attached to the email that was sent to you with said Announcement.

Also, your exam is TODAY.  "Better late than never" may not apply to studying for a Final Exam.

I suspect there is a very strong correlation between not being able to find the study guide and not looking for it until the day of the exam.

Let's write an IRB and get a silly publication about the correlation between if/when a student downloads study materials and their grade.