Favorite student emails

[FishProf]

All quiet on the western front, but the [Disabilities Office] Director wants to chat and says the student was out of line.

[Caracal]

All quiet on the western front, but the [Disabilities Office] Director wants to chat and says the student was out of line.

That's good. The student might just be a huge jerk, but it's also possible this is someone who is really spinning out and needs help. Of course, it's also possible it's both...

[FishProf]

All quiet on the western front, but the [Disabilities Office] Director wants to chat and says the student was out of line.

That's good. The student might just be a huge jerk, but it's also possible this is someone who is really spinning out and needs help. Of course, it's also possible it's both...

The student had decided/been counseled that withdrawing at this point is their best option.

[the_geneticist]

My "it is not mathematically possible for you to earn higher than a C/not plausible that you will pass" student is refusing to ask to Withdraw.

They've already failed the course before.  Failing it again means they are out of the major. 

All the determination and wanting to do well is not enough to catch up on being absent for 4 weeks (and counting) in a 10-week quarter.

Stu, your situation is the reason we have a late withdrawal for medical hardships.  Stop asking for "extra time to get caught up" and DROP THE CLASS.

[Langue_doc]

All quiet on the western front, but the [Disabilities Office] Director wants to chat and says the student was out of line.

That's good. The student might just be a huge jerk, but it's also possible this is someone who is really spinning out and needs help. Of course, it's also possible it's both...

The student had decided/been counseled that withdrawing at this point is their best option.

Sounds like a sensible resolution for all concerned.

[FishProf]

A new headache a-coming.

I had to send Athlete progress reports.  Afterwards, I got this gem:

"Hello I was looking at the grades on the grade book and there were 5 quizzes that I miss that I was never told about there were no emails telling us there were any quizzes due and I don't remember you mentioning them in class the week before."

You are right, I didn't mention them.  That's the job of the schedule of topics posted next to the syllabus, AND the due dates listed for each item on the CMS. 

[Thursday's_Child]

It has finally happened to me, too:

- rambling email from student who can't read the syllabus, asking about our midterm exam & amazed that it hasn't been mentioned in class

- my reply " Dear student; There is not an exam tomorrow - it's just Midterm = the last day to drop any class with a W"

- SWCRTS:  "So, just for clarity's sake, there is no exam on Tuesday? That is just the midterm date for dropping the class?"

I hope my lack of a response was adequate, clear, and improved SWCRTS's understanding....

[downer]

I used to be dutiful about responding to requests from coaches about how their athlete students were doing. But my willingness to do extra work which is not required by deans has decreased. Often those emails disappear from the page of visible emails before I get around to responding, and they go unanswered.

[the_geneticist]

I have a student who didn't take the online, open note exam on Friday.

They emailed me the next morning to ask to "reschedule" the exam.
And said they had a fever.
Then said it was COVID.
Then said the "were taking so many exams online they passed out from exhaustion"


I don't want them to fail due to making a dumb choice, but I also don't want them to think that this decision has no consequences.
I'm leaning towards "come take the exam in my office, bring your notes.  It's on paper this time".

Thoughts?

[downer]

Sounds reasonable.

Chances are that student won't show up to the rescheduled exam if you have one. So you need to spell out consequences of that ahead of time.

Chances are student will fail exam when they take it. Then what?

[arcturus]

A new headache a-coming.

I had to send Athlete progress reports.  Afterwards, I got this gem:

"Hello I was looking at the grades on the grade book and there were 5 quizzes that I miss that I was never told about there were no emails telling us there were any quizzes due and I don't remember you mentioning them in class the week before."

You are right, I didn't mention them.  That's the job of the schedule of topics posted next to the syllabus, AND the due dates listed for each item on the CMS. 

We have to do intermediate grade reports for our Div I athletes. I find it helpful, as it encourages those that are failing to drop the class early in the semester. I've gotten a few gems of replies, including the student who wrote back (during the semester) to ask why I kept reporting them as "at risk of failing" when they could see that they were currently passing the class (intermediate grades were in the D/D- range), and then wrote (after the semester was over) to ask if they could earn extra credit, since they needed to earn at least a C in the class to remain eligible for their athletic scholarship.

This year, I had the pleasure of hearing the tv announcers laud the capabilities of one of my former students for his BB prowess. If only this student had applied even a teeny tiny bit of effort for my class...which he dropped half-way through the semester after earning 0 points total.

[the_geneticist]

Sounds reasonable.

Chances are that student won't show up to the rescheduled exam if you have one. So you need to spell out consequences of that ahead of time.

Chances are student will fail exam when they take it. Then what?

At least I can show I gave them the opportunity to try and pass.  They were actually passing the class before the exam.  I could also offer an Incomplete.

[the_geneticist]

Update: student lied

They didn't have any other exams that day, online or in person.  They also didn't have COVID (or else they had a miraculously quick recovery since they took an in-person exam today).

Damn it.  Time to email their advisor.

[AmLitHist]

Update: student lied

They didn't have any other exams that day, online or in person.  They also didn't have COVID (or else they had a miraculously quick recovery since they took an in-person exam today).

Damn it.  Time to email their advisor.

And this is why I'm a mean old hard ass.  I did my time in purgatory raising two teen-aged girls and being a human lie-detector 24/7; I was a lot younger and more energetic back then. I'll give the benefit of the doubt to students who've earned it, but others?  Nope.

[traductio]

Summary of an email I just received:

Dear Prof. Traductio,

I'm sorry for not coming to the exam today. My cat and dog got fight this afternoon.

That's a new one for me, but you know what? I'll take it. This semester has been rough for everyone (myself included), and I think the student is being honest and genuinely cares for her animals. So on the strength of that willingness to show compassion, I'll give her a makeup exam.

(I'm actually offering makeup exams to a lot of people, some of whom had -- or claimed to have -- Covid. I told them stay the heck home if they're sick, and I meant it.)