Favorite student emails

[mythbuster]

Dear Dr. Buster,
   Good evening, I'm trying to get home to do the peer reviews asap, however i'm stuck on [XXX Interstate Highway] without my laptop and i'm unable to do the editing on my phone. I've been sitting on the highway for over an hour and they have just shut the part of the highway that i'm on down. I have no idea how long i'll be stuck here, I just wanted to reach out to let you know i am trying to get home to do the peer reviews and I didn't want to be pentalized for it

Ummm. . . trying to your your homework on your phone in your car on the highway. NOT a good plan.

[fleabite]

The highway was probably masquerading as a parking lot at the point Stu wrote their message, so defaulting from driving to schoolwork would not be an unreasonable option.

[apl68]

The student should take a deep breath and remember that whatever the problem is with the interstate highway, it's probably not on the same level as what Los Angeles is going through right now.  Unless perhaps it actually IS in Los Angeles.

[mythbuster]

No, not I-10, although it does run through town here.

[the_geneticist]

Dear stu,
Asking a professor if you can "skip their class" is not a way to make a good impression.  No, I will not give you permission to attend another class at the same time as this one.  Just because you thought of the idea doesn't mean it will happen.

[Chemystery]

This reminds me of a student from many years ago.

Student sent me an email at 9:50 am, asking if we could meet at 10:00 am. I was not in front of my computer at that time.  When I got back to my office at 10:15, I saw the email and replied that I was available if they wanted to stop in.  The student came to my office shortly after noon.  He explained that he had an out of state event that weekend and had wanted to meet with me to find out what we were doing because he wanted to miss class and drive there early.  Since I had not been available to meet with him at 10:00, and it was now so late in the day, he supposed he would just come to class (at 1:00).  The ensuing silence and look on his face told me that I was supposed to apologize for inconveniencing him, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize for not being available at a drop of a hat or that he would be attending class.

[apl68]

Dear stu,
Asking a professor if you can "skip their class" is not a way to make a good impression.  No, I will not give you permission to attend another class at the same time as this one.  Just because you thought of the idea doesn't mean it will happen.

A good place for a lesson on the importance of "framing" to make what one says come across in the best possible way.

[sinenomine]

From a student with a 32% grade on the final week of class: "Hi sorry if I haven't been on track in your class. I am currently going through somethings that is currently affecting me. Ehh I know it shouldn't get in the way of my progress in class. I'll also do paper 5 and the presentation and about the getting deeper into research I use the internet I don't really know much about using the library. So yeah I deeply apologize for not communicating with you earlier."

I'm not expecting great things.

[mbelvadi]

From a student with a 32% grade on the final week of class: "Hi sorry if I haven't been on track in your class. I am currently going through somethings that is currently affecting me. Ehh I know it shouldn't get in the way of my progress in class. I'll also do paper 5 and the presentation and about the getting deeper into research I use the internet I don't really know much about using the library. So yeah I deeply apologize for not communicating with you earlier."

I'm not expecting great things.

Please inform this student that there are people called "librarians" whose job is to help students learn "much about using the library". In my day (GenX), undergrads were not given access to librarians routinely; today, there is no excuse for not seeking help - there are online tutorials, class presentations by librarians, and many opportunities to make individual appts for research consultation.

[sinenomine]

From a student with a 32% grade on the final week of class: "Hi sorry if I haven't been on track in your class. I am currently going through somethings that is currently affecting me. Ehh I know it shouldn't get in the way of my progress in class. I'll also do paper 5 and the presentation and about the getting deeper into research I use the internet I don't really know much about using the library. So yeah I deeply apologize for not communicating with you earlier."

I'm not expecting great things.

Please inform this student that there are people called "librarians" whose job is to help students learn "much about using the library". In my day (GenX), undergrads were not given access to librarians routinely; today, there is no excuse for not seeking help - there are online tutorials, class presentations by librarians, and many opportunities to make individual appts for research consultation.

Oh, I did that repeatedly. This is a case of leading a horse to water and seeing it not drink...

[waterboy]

...and horses are typically smart enough not to drown. This one...?

[mythbuster]

My twist on that statement is leading a horse to water (to drink) and then watching it drown.

Last day of the semester. I had the following emails today:

Begging email for me not to fail the blatant case of plagiarism because they are supposed to graduate next week.
Request for feedback on the paper draft that was due 32 days ago.
Request for extra credit that starts with " I know you say in the syllabus no extra credit. But. . . ."

I need to game show voice over to tell me what I've won with all three in 1 day!

[Hegemony]

Students' papers were due yesterday. Yesterday evening — not having gotten far on the grading yet, for obvious reasons — I got an escalating flurry of emails. "There is no grade listed for my paper on the LMS! That means it will register as an F! I don't deserve an F! I did all the work! I am attaching all my assignments so you can see I did the work all term!" And so on and so on. I think maybe somebody had a little too much to drink or indulged a little too much in substances. Six emails later, despite my reassurances, they are still coming. "You are counting all my assignments, right?" Jeepers, kid, calm DOWN.

[kaysixteen]

Ok, but is there some glitch in the LMS software that will automatically record an F until the professor changes it?

[FishProf]

In our LMS, we can set it to count ungraded work as ZERO (running total) or not counted AT All. In that scenario, if only a letter grade is displayed, it will show an F for purposes of calculating final grades, but still just show a nothing for that assignment.

Hard to say which is in play here.