Favorite student emails

[AvidReader]

I know I don't check mine. 
Why didn't the student just click the Zoom link to join the class?

We are in person at half capacity here -- I have offered to open Zoom for any student who needs it, as I don't want to penalize someone for not coming to class (quarantine, illness, or whatever), but I don't start Zoom unless someone has asked for it. Department offers online synchronous and asynchronous options, hy-flex with half the class on live video, and hy-flex that runs like a real hybrid (what I do), so I am trying to give my students the best in-person experience possible. If one or two are on Zoom, that's fine; when nobody needs it, it is nice to focus exclusively on my in-person students.

AR.

[AvidReader]

Sorry to double-post. Two this morning.

#1 from a student who emails every Saturday asking if I can reopen all the past week's work so student can submit it late. (Last week, student wanted me to open all past work since the beginning of school). Every Saturday, I remind Stu that I don't accept late work, and list the new work worth about the same number of points that will be due in the coming week. We have now done this for five weeks. Stu has submitted *nothing,* but would still like me to reopen last week's work.

#2 from a student who has never attended and has done exactly one class activity (worth 5 points). In its entirety:
"Is there anyway I still can catch up ? "

Sigh.

AR.

[OneMoreYear]

Sorry to double-post. Two this morning.

#1 from a student who emails every Saturday asking if I can reopen all the past week's work so student can submit it late. (Last week, student wanted me to open all past work since the beginning of school). Every Saturday, I remind Stu that I don't accept late work, and list the new work worth about the same number of points that will be due in the coming week. We have now done this for five weeks. Stu has submitted *nothing,* but would still like me to reopen last week's work.

#2 from a student who has never attended and has done exactly one class activity (worth 5 points). In its entirety:
"Is there anyway I still can catch up ? "

Sigh.

AR.

AR, I am happy to reply to your students for you!

Student #1,
No.
--AR

Student #2,
No.
--AR

Done! Now turn off your email for the weekend!

[Langue_doc]

From Stu who always waits until the last minute to submit assignments, in response to my reminder that assignments should be submitted on Canvas and that I do not open attachments or click on links sent by students:

"..please make accommodations in my case, I'm sure if I asked the entire class if it was fair they would say yes."

Stu, your classmates do not get to decide course policies. A class is not a democracy.

Suggestions for a response would be greatly appreciated.

[fishbrains]

From Stu who always waits until the last minute to submit assignments, in response to my reminder that assignments should be submitted on Canvas and that I do not open attachments or click on links sent by students:

"..please make accommodations in my case, I'm sure if I asked the entire class if it was fair they would say yes."

Stu, your classmates do not get to decide course policies. A class is not a democracy.

Suggestions for a response would be greatly appreciated.

"Stu,

I can't make that accommodation for anyone. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Professor L_d"

My two cents: Just state the facts in the most simplest, non-apologetic, non-engaging manner possible. It took me about 15 years of teaching to learn this. And I still forget. I'm a little on the slow side.

[OneMoreYear]

From Stu who always waits until the last minute to submit assignments, in response to my reminder that assignments should be submitted on Canvas and that I do not open attachments or click on links sent by students:

"..please make accommodations in my case, I'm sure if I asked the entire class if it was fair they would say yes."

Stu, your classmates do not get to decide course policies. A class is not a democracy.

Suggestions for a response would be greatly appreciated.

"Stu,

I can't make that accommodation for anyone. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Professor L_d"

My two cents: Just state the facts in the most simplest, non-apologetic, non-engaging manner possible. It took me about 15 years of teaching to learn this. And I still forget. I'm a little on the slow side.

Agreed, I'd keep it short.  I tend to just re-state the policies, unless there is a specific reason to engage otherwise (but I've been accused of being mean, so you may not want to go with my version).  I'd go with something like:

Student,
All assignments for this course must be submitted to Canvas.  The next assignment (XXX) is due on DATE at TIME to the DROPBOX.
Professor L_D

I tried fishbrains' version once in a similar situation, and the student wrote back "You can make this accommodation; you are just refusing to help me.

[Aster]

From Stu who always waits until the last minute to submit assignments, in response to my reminder that assignments should be submitted on Canvas and that I do not open attachments or click on links sent by students:

"..please make accommodations in my case, I'm sure if I asked the entire class if it was fair they would say yes."

Stu, your classmates do not get to decide course policies. A class is not a democracy.

Suggestions for a response would be greatly appreciated.

Sometimes I find it more effective to just end the conversation without specifically responding to whatever whacky request that a student makes."

"Assignments are due at such and such time. Please refer to the course syllabus if you have further questions about course policies."

[Langue_doc]

Thanks, all. Will refer Stu to the syllabus. Stu got a pass earlier on a plagiarized assignment, and kept trying to negotiate until I told Stu to accept the zero or the decision by the academic integrity office.

[Charlotte]

Thanks, all. Will refer Stu to the syllabus. Stu got a pass earlier on a plagiarized assignment, and kept trying to negotiate until I told Stu to accept the zero or the decision by the academic integrity office.

Had a similar situation. Thought the student understood I was giving them a second chance by not reporting it and only giving a zero but turns out they went higher up and administration decided to back the student up since I didn't report it to the academic integrity office. Student's grade was changed and I learned a lot about the administration at my school that day.

[AvidReader]

AR, I am happy to reply to your students for you!

Student #1,
No.
--AR

Student #2,
No.
--AR

Done! Now turn off your email for the weekend!

Thanks, OneMoreYear!

AR.

[downer]

Student emails explaining their poor performance is due to social anxiety with Zoom.

But it is an asynchronous class. We don't use Zoom.

[research_prof]

Student emails explaining their poor performance is due to social anxiety with Zoom.

But it is an asynchronous class. We don't use Zoom.

I guess it's a boilerplate email that all the profs. of this student received.

[lilyb]

I don't understand.

Why would there be social anxiety regarding Zoom? They could turn their camera off or choose the "hide my image" feature if they can't bear to look at themselves.

[the_geneticist]

Student emails explaining their poor performance is due to social anxiety with Zoom.

But it is an asynchronous class. We don't use Zoom.

Wow, they are going to really hate in-person classes.

But in seriousness, I'd get them in contact with the counseling center.  It's going to be a rough rest of this academic year if they don't figure out how to participate.
I also agree that they probably sent the exact message to all of their instructors.

[FishProf]

Student emailed me at 6:30 tonight to request a zoom meeting to go over the lab from last Monday, before it is due this Monday.

Um, no.  Not meeting with you on the weekend.  Especially this weekend, where I am doing family stuff and NOT working.
Perhaps you should have done this sooner?