Favorite student emails

[the_geneticist]

I used to supervise a lab instructor who would lock the door so students could not arrive even five minutes late. Infantilizing, not to mention unsafe practice. Sometimes a student would leave to use the restroom and then couldn't get back in. Which is how I found out about it when they knocked on my door to ask for help getting back into the room.

I definitely understand the urge since it is disruptive when students routinely arrive late, but I have never heard of anyone actually doing it.

I am aware of instructors barring students from starting an exam after the first student has finished it and left the classroom, but no student has ever finished one of my exams in this course in 20 minutes (this was not the first exam, so students knew that my exams take longer than that).

The policy of no one starting after the first person leaves is pretty standard here too.  But with 300+ students, there's always one or two that finish that quickly.  Either a really high or really low score.
Apparently "speed running" the exams (trying to finish really fast) is a thing.  I don't get it.  It's not like we give bonus points for finishing first. 

[mamselle]

I would guess it's a misguided declaration of independence, like, "you can't make me stay here and do all this work, I'll show you!"

There may also be some degree of peer pressure/social standing where leaving early conveys some kind of stature in some classmates' minds--especially, say teammates or other internally bonded cohort groups for whom personal subjugation to academic strictures represent some kind of betrayal of the anomyous "pack."

Just theorizing...

M.

[kiana]

I also think that for some people it's "I have no idea what to do with any of this, I guess I'm more lost than I thought."

[Puget]

I also think that for some people it's "I have no idea what to do with any of this, I guess I'm more lost than I thought."

Sometimes students who really know the material also finish fast. I generally have TAs take the test ahead of time to catch any potential problems and they can usually finish in under half an hour for a test I allow 80 min for. Some of the best students do finish about that quickly too (though some of them then spend the rest of the time triple-checking everything).

[Caracal]

I used to supervise a lab instructor who would lock the door so students could not arrive even five minutes late. Infantilizing, not to mention unsafe practice. Sometimes a student would leave to use the restroom and then couldn't get back in. Which is how I found out about it when they knocked on my door to ask for help getting back into the room.

I definitely understand the urge since it is disruptive when students routinely arrive late, but I have never heard of anyone actually doing it.

I am aware of instructors barring students from starting an exam after the first student has finished it and left the classroom, but no student has ever finished one of my exams in this course in 20 minutes (this was not the first exam, so students knew that my exams take longer than that).

The policy of no one starting after the first person leaves is pretty standard here too.  But with 300+ students, there's always one or two that finish that quickly.  Either a really high or really low score.
Apparently "speed running" the exams (trying to finish really fast) is a thing.  I don't get it.  It's not like we give bonus points for finishing first.

Sure, in high school and in one or two college classes where history exams were multiple choice, I would finish in five minutes because my memory works very well for things like that-alas not so much for languages, science or anything else. If you know the answer right away, a multiple choice question takes no time at all. However, essay exams don't work that way-if you know more you have more to say and it should take you longer to organize your ideas and write it out. Students who finish really quickly almost always do badly in my exams.

[Langue_doc]

Email from Stu:

...I've never had an issue with writing. I've always excelled in composition and writing. What exactly is the concern about my writing and how do I finish this semester with a B or better in your class

Stu, are you reading the detailed feedback on your assignments? All the feedback? If you did so, you would understand the "concern" about your writing and what you can do to improve your grades.

[marshwiggle]

Email from Stu:

...I've never had an issue with writing. I've always excelled in composition and writing. What exactly is the concern about my writing and how do I finish this semester with a B or better in your class

Stu, are you reading the detailed feedback on your assignments? All the feedback? If you did so, you would understand the "concern" about your writing and what you can do to improve your grades.

Stu's right; it's not writing that's the big problem. Now reading, on the other hand...

[the_geneticist]

Location of Lab

Good morning Professor [Geneticist],
I hope you doing well. My name is [confused]. I am enrolled in the [basketweaving] at [time] in [Building X room 123]. Though yesterday I went to look for the lab room in [Building X room 123] and had a hard time locating the room. Would you please guide me or email me a map to find the lab room in [Building X room 123]? Thank you.

All the best,
[confused]

I'd say "come to my office, it's just down the hall from your lab", but I fear that won't help.

[Langue_doc]

Grade-grubbing Stu again:

My work was submitted on time. I think it's a little unfair that you won't give me the credit I deserve since it was Canvas' fault. Please reconsider.

Did Stu submit the assignment on time? Only about a third; the rest was uploaded in the comments box after the assignment was graded. It is always somebody else's fault.

[sinenomine]

Grade-grubbing Stu again:

My work was submitted on time. I think it's a little unfair that you won't give me the credit I deserve since it was Canvas' fault. Please reconsider.

Did Stu submit the assignment on time? Only about a third; the rest was uploaded in the comments box after the assignment was graded. It is always somebody else's fault.

I've got one right now who insists she both uploaded the paper in Canvas (it's not there) and sent me a Google docs link to it (nope). Now she's ghosting me.

[the_geneticist]

Grade-grubbing Stu again:

My work was submitted on time. I think it's a little unfair that you won't give me the credit I deserve since it was Canvas' fault. Please reconsider.

Did Stu submit the assignment on time? Only about a third; the rest was uploaded in the comments box after the assignment was graded. It is always somebody else's fault.

I've got one right now who insists she both uploaded the paper in Canvas (it's not there) and sent me a Google docs link to it (nope). Now she's ghosting me.

Time to put a 0 in the grade book and call it done.

I have students who apparently need CONSTANT reassurance.  "Your instructions say to do [X].  I did [X].  Can you check it for me?/did I do it right?"
NO.

[AmLitHist]

LDW is a week from tomorrow.  I've sent emails (AGAIN) to the ones who mathematically cannot pass. I'm sure my mailbox will fill up over the weekend with pleas for extra credit, requests to turn in work that was due in Week 1, 5, or 9, and so on.  Nope.

Destroyer of Dreams and Crusher of Souls. That's me.

[dr_evil]

Destroyer of Dreams and Crusher of Souls. That's me.

That is a wonderful title. I'm usually "Why Stu Can't Get into Med School."

I've been getting those requests to submit late assignments all semester. I think quite a few people decided they couldn't have enforced due dates due to the pandemic.

[marshwiggle]

Destroyer of Dreams and Crusher of Souls. That's me.

That is a wonderful title. I'm usually "Why Stu Can't Get into Med School."

So then "Saver of Lives" as well.

[OneMoreYear]

Destroyer of Dreams and Crusher of Souls. That's me.

That is a wonderful title. I'm usually "Why Stu Can't Get into Med School."

So then "Saver of Lives" as well.

Protecting the public, one F at a time.