Favorite student emails

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

What syllabus, indeed. And what about the handouts, videos, readings, and other information in the modules? Who looks at them? I have students completing assignments without reading any of the instructional content or the detailed directions in the modules.

Pardon the vent, but I've had a flurry of emails over the weekend from Stus who clearly haven't read any of the above. Stus' philosophy: it doesnt' hurt to ask; ask and ye shall receive.

Like EPW, I too don't respond to emails after 5 PM on weekdays or on weekends. I waited until after 9 AM this morning to give them the rinse and repeat reminders about course policies and where to find them (the syllabus and assorted modules).

Same. I've been slammed with emails asking if they passed. How can you get into college and not know how to calculate your course grade? It's not that hard. I thought I made it pretty easy. Just add up the points and look at the table. I know I've bitched about this before, but it's just so damned frustrating and annoying.

[downer]

Student who missed a deadline just wrote an email explaining why.

His dog died. He has had it since he was 8 years old.

He also included a picture of the dog.

Curious, and a first for me. No one ever sent me a picture of their recently deceased grandparents either.

[marshwiggle]

Student who missed a deadline just wrote an email explaining why.

His dog died. He has had it since he was 8 years old.

He also included a picture of the dog.

Curious, and a first for me. No one ever sent me a picture of their recently deceased grandparents either.

That's interesting, especially given the well-documented phenomenon of dead grandparent syndrome.

[Puget]

Student who has had one excuse after another all semester for why she can't attend class, and currently has a D,  informed me that she can't attend the last two classes this week because she was a close contact and has to isolate. I then forwarded her the updated university policy which now requires only precautions and testing, not isolation, if they are asymptomatic. Suddenly she reports that she's symptomatic, a mere hour after saying she was only a close contact. Of course, I told her to follow the protocol for symptomatic individuals, but that's some fast and strategic onset of symptoms right there!

[the_geneticist]

Student who has had one excuse after another all semester for why she can't attend class, and currently has a D,  informed me that she can't attend the last two classes this week because she was a close contact and has to isolate. I then forwarded her the updated university policy which now requires only precautions and testing, not isolation, if they are asymptomatic. Suddenly she reports that she's symptomatic, a mere hour after saying she was only a close contact. Of course, I told her to follow the protocol for symptomatic individuals, but that's some fast and strategic onset of symptoms right there!

I'd forward this to their advisor or contact their other instructors.  On the off chance that they are being truthful, then they need to send you the documentation that they are needing to isolate.

[Puget]

Student who has had one excuse after another all semester for why she can't attend class, and currently has a D,  informed me that she can't attend the last two classes this week because she was a close contact and has to isolate. I then forwarded her the updated university policy which now requires only precautions and testing, not isolation, if they are asymptomatic. Suddenly she reports that she's symptomatic, a mere hour after saying she was only a close contact. Of course, I told her to follow the protocol for symptomatic individuals, but that's some fast and strategic onset of symptoms right there!

I'd forward this to their advisor or contact their other instructors.  On the off chance that they are being truthful, then they need to send you the documentation that they are needing to isolate.

I'm in close contact with her advisor, have been all semester. As far as documentation, we can request they send us a screenshot of their "red" passport, but all you have to do to make it turn red is report symptoms on the daily health questionnaire, so. . .

Heck, the symptoms probably are real, but may well be psychosomatic. The real problem is this student has severe anxiety, including health anxiety. She tried to get an accommodation to zoom in to her classes this semester, and it was denied (rightly so-- there has been no documented transmission in classrooms here, and the worst thing you can do for anxiety is allow avoidance). So, she has instead been reporting various reasons she can't come to class all semester (she has stomach problems, a relative is sick, etc.). Some may well be real, and I always try to give students the benefit of the doubt. I'm not really interested in policing her reasons. The natural consequence is that she is very unlikely to get the minimum C- for the course to count toward the major. In the end, she has to make her own choices.

[the_geneticist]

Got this one from a student wanting to be excused from missed assignments:

Woke up feeling very sick and nauseous on the morning of my lab. 

Nothing unusual there. 
But, they sent it at 10:30pm the night before their lab.  Either they are a time traveler, psychic, or they never intended to go to class and forgot to use the "delay send" on that email.
My money is on #3.

[Anon1787]

Got this one from a student wanting to be excused from missed assignments:

Woke up feeling very sick and nauseous on the morning of my lab. 

Nothing unusual there. 
But, they sent it at 10:30pm the night before their lab.  Either they are a time traveler, psychic, or they never intended to go to class and forgot to use the "delay send" on that email.
My money is on #3.

Not knowing what time & day it was proves how just how deliriously sick Stu is!

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I received an email asking if a student could change a lab grade from a lab that was due in February because the grade was too low (Yes, a 16% is quite low.)! Another student wants me to open up labs that I told stu (several times via email over two months ago) were too late to open for partial credit.

Are reading comprehension skills in the toilet, or are they trying to pull a fast one? Or maybe both?

Signed-

Too Tired And Mentally Exhausted To Care Right Now.

[Langue_doc]

It's a combination of poor or non-existent reading comprehension skills and the "rules don't apply to me" mentality. I've never had so many students demand that I just open closed assignment folders so that they can upload their late submissions, and also repeatedly email their assignments.

[kiana]

Well, after all, it got them through high school didn't it?

*sigh*

[the_geneticist]

It's a combination of poor or non-existent reading comprehension skills and the "rules don't apply to me" mentality. I've never had so many students demand that I just open closed assignment folders so that they can upload their late submissions, and also repeatedly email their assignments.

Or demand that I remove late penalties or be allowed to turn in assignments after they have already been graded to "make up" the missed points.  I have decided to just keep all assignments open with an automatic late penalty.  After 10 days, it's so late that it's 0 points, but they can still turn it in!

And I have more students than usual that forget to turn in their lab assignments before leaving lab.  Why?!  They say "but I participated! why is my grade a 0?"  Because. you. didn't. turn. in. your. assignment.
Most students only forget once, apologize/beg for mercy, and never forget again.  This time I have someone who has forgotten every week.  I just don't understand.

[Langue_doc]

Email sent after 7 PM on Friday:

I just woke up and read your email. Can I work on the rest of the discussion post and the revising assignment?

Deadline for these assignments? 5 PM
What's the usual deadline for these assignments? 5 PM
How many weeks until the end of the semester? 1

According to Stu's earlier email, hu was recovering from the flu. Stu was given extensions earlier in the semester because of documented medical issues.

Stu and a few others in this online course think that I monitor the course and by extension the emails 24/7.

[fosca]

Can you tell it's the last day of the semester?

Message from a student: "I just wanted to clarify if the reflection assignments are extra credit or mandatory assignments. I would also like to ask of they are extra credit can they harm our grade or just help it."

My answer:  The reflections are extra credit, which why they are labeled extra credit.  Not doing an extra credit assignment won't hurt your grade.

[fosca]

Sorry to double-post, but this one is classic: note the positive reinforcement before the anxious (and unlikely to happen) request:

I wanted to thank you for a great, very informative semester in which you pushed me to learn a lot more information than I expected to learn. You were definitely one of my most dedicated professors, so I really appreciate it. I was wondering if after you manually take away my lowest discussion grade, if my grade is an 86 or above, if you'd consider rounding it to a 90 to maintain my GPA? Again, I really appreciate your effort in each individual student this semester. 


I replied if they're at 89.0001 I'll round up, but not 86.