Favorite student emails

[Anon1787]

Stu claims to have uploaded the wrong file for take-home essay question, which is usually done as a play for extra time. However, Stu has a habit of adding notes describing Stu's submission and the note suggests it was complete, so I am going to give Stu the benefit of the doubt and accept the correct file.

[MarathonRunner]

Hmmm... this brings up an interesting question in my mind, esp in the era of effective covid vaxxes: we do not say that someone who may or may not have influenza should necessarily skip class, esp if their symptoms are mild, and we do not have a flu test protocol either.   Mild cold symptoms could of course just be a mild cold.   Exactly for how long should we make anyone who has symptoms that might be covid isolate from the world?   Remember that in the world of low-wage workers, the time of (often mandatory) paid covid time off is long gone, and skipping work because of what might be a cold could be financially disastrous.

So back during the swine flu pandemic, many Canadian universities said that students no longer needed a medical certificate if they missed class, exams, labs, etc. They didn't want ill students spreading the virus and wanted students to rest and recover instead of dragging themselves to a physician or health services. Students who were genuinely ill did fine, students who weren't but used it as an excuse ended up doing poorly anyhow. Many now have the same attitude with COVID, especially since even symptomatic people aren't testing positive until day 3-6 with the new variants. I'd rather students with any symptoms or close contact with positive COVID individuals stay home. But I'm still wearing an FFP2/N95 whenever I'm outside my home. Haven't had COVID and don't want to.

[Puget]

Stu: I got a unsatisfactory midterm report and want to meet with you.
Me: I'm always happy to meet! Please sign up for a time during my office hours (lists hours), or if you can't do those times, send a list of available times.
Stu: I can't meet during your office hours, here are my times: Lists times that overlap with my office hours.

This happens surprisingly often.

[EdnaMode]

Hi Dr. Mode,

I was wondering if I can do anything to get my grade up at all I understand the assignments and stuff I just haven't had good study habits from highschool and I'm really trying my best to pass so I was wondering if there's any extra credit or anything I can do

Stu

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Fantasy response... Why would you do extra credit work when you're not doing the regular work? Oh! Shame on me. What you REALLY want is points for doing nothing so you can make up for the fact you currently have a grade of 45% in a class that has a median grade of 79%, and there's no way in h*ll you're going to pass. It's week 12, you haven't responded to any of my earlier feedback and suggestions for improving your grade, and now you're wanting to pass? With three weeks of class left? Ugh.

Actual response... I told him there was no extra credit in this class and gave him the link to our student resource center where he can get help with his study habits.

[OneMoreYear]

Student: The video is wrong. I can't do the assignment.
Dr. OMY: The video is correct. Everything you need for the assignment is recorded.
Student: Oh, I see. The [video system] has the video cued to the middle
Dr. OMY: To do the assignment, start all videos at the beginning.

My assignment instructions are incredibly detailed. Do I now need to add: Start the videos at the beginning to see the entire [task]?

This semester cannot end fast enough.

[sinenomine]

Student: The video is wrong. I can't do the assignment.
Dr. OMY: The video is correct. Everything you need for the assignment is recorded.
Student: Oh, I see. The [video system] has the video cued to the middle
Dr. OMY: To do the assignment, start all videos at the beginning.

My assignment instructions are incredibly detailed. Do I now need to add: Start the videos at the beginning to see the entire [task]?

This semester cannot end fast enough.

Another digital native...

[the_geneticist]

A student said they were in a "minor car incident" the morning of an afternoon lab and asked to have the day off.
I said they either needed a police note or to go to class.

Guess who decided to go to class.

[Puget]

This one really has all the classics. For context, Stu lost a lot of points on an assignment for copying directly from the papers they were meant to be summarizing in their own words. Emphasis my own:

Thanks for the response. I know I could view the turnitin report, however, I did not think 24% was much overlap at all, and I didn't know the criteria for the overlapping. I spent so much time on this assignment and tried to paraphrase as much as I could. I am definitely going to utilize office hours this week for some assistance with the next 2 assignments. In addition, I was wondering if there is absolutely anything I can do for any extra credit or anything like that to possibly bring my grade up. I really need to pass this class, and I feel as though I deserve to because of the amount of effort I put in.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

This one really has all the classics. For context, Stu lost a lot of points on an assignment for copying directly from the papers they were meant to be summarizing in their own words. Emphasis my own:

Thanks for the response. I know I could view the turnitin report, however, I did not think 24% was much overlap at all, and I didn't know the criteria for the overlapping. I spent so much time on this assignment and tried to paraphrase as much as I could. I am definitely going to utilize office hours this week for some assistance with the next 2 assignments. In addition, I was wondering if there is absolutely anything I can do for any extra credit or anything like that to possibly bring my grade up. I really need to pass this class, and I feel as though I deserve to because of the amount of effort I put in.

I can relate. I have a couple of students who are trying their damnedest to fail and succeeding! I have heard their excuses (everything except actually doing the work) throughout the semester and I anticipate more when they get their final grades.

[Harlow2]

Doctoral student AWOL for a week from an online class; then didn't respond to my "where are you" email for another 5 days. Submitted same response for both the discussion and the first assignment. Maybe thought I didn't read them?

[the_geneticist]

I am getting so many emails along the lines of:

The presentation guidelines say we need to do [task A]. We did [task A].  Is that OK?/can you look at it for us/did we do it right?

and

The presentation guidelines say we need to do [task A]. We did [other thing].  Is that OK?/can you look at it for us/did we do it right?

Not sure which is worse!

[OneMoreYear]

Today, I received the second email this semester that indicated a student planned on attending my graduate-level course while driving.  I don't remember anyone ever emailing me about this this previously. I assume it is partially due to the hyflex model I'm required to use (despite my courses being designated in-person). Anyone else getting these?

[Langue_doc]

Today, I received the second email this semester that indicated a student planned on attending my graduate-level course while driving.  I don't remember anyone ever emailing me about this this previously. I assume it is partially due to the hyflex model I'm required to use (despite my courses being designated in-person). Anyone else getting these?

Isn't this illegal in your state? If the student has an accident while "attending class" on the road, wouldn't the institution be held responsible?

Perhaps copy someone higher up when responding to Stu?

What's up with grad students these days!?

[the_geneticist]

Yikes!  That is incredibly dangerous! 
You might tell the students that this is:
1. Not safe
2. They will not be able to fully participate

And kick this up the chain of command.  I this the "hyflex/record everything/livestream" needs to end, especially for a GRADUATE course.

[OneMoreYear]

I told the student that they either needed to be in class or on a computer/tablet virtually b/c they would need to see the visual material I am showing and that their group would be discussing.  Student attended virtually; I am assuming not while driving, as they participated in the chat.

I lost the battle on the "hyflex everything" a long time ago. My colleagues view it as an equity issue. I had to offer a skills lab class in hyflex this semester, which has almost broken me given the level of work. Next semester, I teach stats, and I'm sure I'm going to get students not attending class in-person to practice using the analysis software on the computers during class. I'm almost ready to force them to hand calculate everything.