Favorite student emails

[arcturus]

Hey - guys - can you please take your COVID discussion back over to the COVID thread? I come here for the heart-warming quotes from student emails...

[the_geneticist]

I'm getting the "I'm sick" emails, but with the BONUS content of describing their symptoms in icky detail. 
Please don't tell me the color of your snot.  If you say you think you have a sinus infection/the flu, I'll say I'm sorry to hear you are sick & suggest you please seek medical care.

I've heard it's like this only 1000x worse if you are teaching microbiology.

[AmLitHist]

A series, for your reading enjoyment:

Yesterday, 9:40 a.m.

Hi,
I was wondering if there was any chance, I could have a small extension on the assignments today I have been very sick recently and just went to urgent care. I can even get them done by tonight I just need alittle more time.
Thank you,

9:48 a.m.

Student,

I don't mind giving an extension, BUT, did you read the email I sent you via Canvas yesterday?  Here's a copy of it:

Student,

Tomorrow is the final day to withdraw from this class. Your current grade of 198 points means that you would need to earn an additional 502 points to pass with the lowest C (700 total points). Since there are only 490 points left in the semester, you cannot pass, and you should consider withdrawing.

Be sure to speak with an Academic Advisor and a Financial Aid Advisor before dropping this or any other class.

Prof. AmLitHist

You really should WITHDRAW from this class to avoid having the F on your transcript.  Today is the last day to do that—you must do it yourself, and the withdrawal must be made by 5 p.m.; the Registrar does not allow any extensions.

If you choose to remain in the class, you can have the extension, but again, it's not going to help you earn the C that you need to pass the class; you'll have to retake Comp I in the future if you earn a D or an F.

Let me know if you have further questions.

Prof. AmLitHist

5:21 p.m.

Hi professor AmLitHist,
Is there any way I can still withdraw? I've been so sick all day and have not been able to withdraw, is there someone I can email or talk to? I just barely missed it

7:09 p.m.

Not that I know of.  You can call Admissions on Monday, but I've been talking about today's deadline for a couple of weeks now, and it's been on the schedule since before the class started, so I seriously doubt they're going to be sympathetic.

Prof. AmLitHist

----------------

Context:

The LDW has been prominently posted in every Canvas module all semester.

The LDW is clearly stated on the course syllabus and the course schedule.

I've mentioned the LDW in every Friday's LVL class meeting since spring break.

We took class time a week ago to have each one of them calculate their grade-to-date, to see how many more points they needed to earn the grade they want for the semester (A, B, or C), and to calculate what % grade they'd have to earn on every remaining assignment to earn that final grade. Student was present in that class meeting.

I've sent this student at least 3 emails since midterm, explaining that they weren't going to pass.

I filed three early alerts with Advising, who contacted the student and told them they weren't going to pass.

This is Comp II, and the student has been here since Fall 2020. This is their FIFTH (seriously?) attempt at this class. So far, they have D/F in 16 classes, and it looks like they'll add another 4 F's this semester. based on their midterm grades.

------------

They're already on their second round of academic probation, so, buh-bye--they're out.  (I wonder if they're paying out of pocket?  I can't imagine financial aid hasn't already cut them off.)

[apl68]

I'm getting the "I'm sick" emails, but with the BONUS content of describing their symptoms in icky detail. 
Please don't tell me the color of your snot.  If you say you think you have a sinus infection/the flu, I'll say I'm sorry to hear you are sick & suggest you please seek medical care.

I've heard it's like this only 1000x worse if you are teaching microbiology.

No doubt...but surely if you're teaching microbiology you ought to have a much higher threshold of tolerance for this sort of thing than the average prof.

At least tell me the sick students aren't sending selfies....

[FishProf]

No doubt...but surely if you're teaching microbiology you ought to have a much higher threshold of tolerance for this sort of thing than the average prof.

Microbiologists are trained to see the cause of the ick, not the ick itself.  Nursing profs on the other hand....

[the_geneticist]

I'm getting the "I'm sick" emails, but with the BONUS content of describing their symptoms in icky detail. 
Please don't tell me the color of your snot.  If you say you think you have a sinus infection/the flu, I'll say I'm sorry to hear you are sick & suggest you please seek medical care.

I've heard it's like this only 1000x worse if you are teaching microbiology.

No doubt...but surely if you're teaching microbiology you ought to have a much higher threshold of tolerance for this sort of thing than the average prof.

At least tell me the sick students aren't sending selfies....

Thankfully, very few selfies.  But I'm getting some "blow by blow" detailed timelines (e.g. "I woke up at 6 with a bad headache, I drank water, it was too painful to move, I tried to sleep more, but my body is too achy, I have a very bad cough with wetness and the mucus is a bit green, etc.").  Just say that you are sick.

[FishProf]

The flood of pre-final exam terror emails has begun....

"....I want to do everything in my power to make sure I pass this exam. I feel as though what I am studying is too broad and it is becoming a huge stressor to me. My question for you, is if there is any possible way that it could be narrowed down which dinosaurs to focus on, or which topics to focus on the most. "

No.  Everything is fair game.  The written final is open note.  How much more do you want?

Fishprof

(the evil monster that refuses to provide study guides)

[mythbuster]

Oh yes, the terror of the comprehensive final exam. They all claim to never have seen one before! Even when I know for a fact that is not true.

[OneMoreYear]

The flood of pre-final exam terror emails has begun....

"....I want to do everything in my power to make sure I pass this exam. I feel as though what I am studying is too broad and it is becoming a huge stressor to me. My question for you, is if there is any possible way that it could be narrowed down which dinosaurs to focus on, or which topics to focus on the most. "

No.  Everything is fair game.  The written final is open note.  How much more do you want?

They don't want more. They want less.  Less work to do. Less information to study.

(the evil monster that refuses to provide study guides)

One year I had a class that just would not stop asking for a study guide, and finally I gave up. The 2nd slide in all of my slide decks was an outline of that day's lecture. I compiled all of those slides into one slide deck that I now called Study Guide and posted it.  A few students actually thanked me. 

[smallcleanrat]

As a TA, I once tried to be nice and made study guides for the lectures that covered the more difficult concepts. All that happened was I got complaints for not making study guides for ALL the lectures.

Not sure if I should have explained to those complaining students that I didn't have to make any study guides at all...

[the_geneticist]

My "study guide" is a list of the learning goals and questions from their lab worksheets.  They already have all of this information, but me putting it in one document is apparently some sort of magic.

[downer]

Have any of those fancy edu-researchers looked into whether study guides help or hinder students learning? I do remember seeing old copies of exams when I was a student, which gave me some idea of what to expect.

[Caracal]

My "study guide" is a list of the learning goals and questions from their lab worksheets.  They already have all of this information, but me putting it in one document is apparently some sort of magic.

Yep. I used to get complaints from students that they didn't know what was going to be on the exam. Now I just make a list of the lecture topics and the readings and call it an exam review. Now no complaints.

[apl68]

My "study guide" is a list of the learning goals and questions from their lab worksheets.  They already have all of this information, but me putting it in one document is apparently some sort of magic.

Yep. I used to get complaints from students that they didn't know what was going to be on the exam. Now I just make a list of the lecture topics and the readings and call it an exam review. Now no complaints.

Evidently for many students having something that suggests a structure for their exam preparation is really helpful, at least psychologically.  Sounds like the sorts of things you all are doing are a fairly simple and easy way to win points with students, and put their minds a little more at ease about studying for their exams.

Me, I never did worry much about studying for exams when I was a student.  By the time I'd done the readings, done the homework and projects, and attended and paid attention in class, I pretty much had all the material down for the exam.  Who knew it was that simple?

[history_grrrl]

Yep. I used to get complaints from students that they didn't know what was going to be on the exam. Now I just make a list of the lecture topics and the readings and call it an exam review. Now no complaints.

In other words, you give them the syllabus?

I've been giving take-home exams since spring 2020, which students have at least a week to work on, so no need for a study guide. But I've gotten my act together a little more with exam review on the last day of class. I take my big course objectives from my introductory lecture (not "know why such-and-such thing happened" but more like "understand that big shots weren't the only people who made history") and then quiz them for arguments and examples. They did surprisingly well with it this past term and sort of riffed off each other in the Q&A. I'm not sure it helped them on their actual exams, but my hope is that it gave them some practice in how to write answers. But these were strictly essay exams.