Favorite student emails

[downer]

Student doesn't do one of the assignments, worth 10%.

Now the course is over, student emails asking how could they have got a C grade when they did fine on most assignments and only missed one.

That is the power of giving a 0 for work that you don't do! Math is so cruel!

Student writes back saying they still don't understand the grade. So far I have not been able to bring myself to reply. Wasn't there that line on the old fora, "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

I had a student a few semesters ago who couldn't understand why I had dropped a 100 they got for a quiz grade. I explained that I drop the two lowest quiz grades so the 100 gets dropped if there's nothing lower, but that, of course, this wasn't a problem and they had a 100 on the quizzes.

They just would not accept this explanation and were convinced this was somehow hurting their grade. I think I went through like 4 emails trying to explain this before they got their roommate to look at who convinced them that I was right...

I admire your persistence. I give the explanation once.

[lightning]

I just received an email from a student who didn't turn in the final report. It was part excuse and part manifesto. The email was really long. The word count of the email is longer than the word count of most of the reports that were submitted by the other students. I think the email took more time and thought for the student, than what students normally put into their final reports, unless the excuse-manifesto was created by ChatGPT . . . .

[history_grrrl]

Email just arrived from student who took a class with me last fall. He skipped the presentation and did none of the written work, so he failed the class with a 19/100. Grades were posted in December.

I hope you are doing well. I am sending this email to because I wanted to clarify my performance with the course. I fully intended to complete this course without any issues, but a lot of personal family issues arose and coupled with getting COVID and anxiety I was not able to perform the way I wanted to. I'm sorry I wasn't able to convey this sooner. I desperately need to pass this course. I immensely enjoyed the course and have all assignments fully completed. Could you please help me help so that I can obtain the credit for the course? Take care and look forward to hearing from you.

Well, it's a polite and well written message; I'll give him that. It's also about seven months too late.

[onehappyunicorn]

I am the immediate supervisor of our part-time folks, the semester ended last Friday and I have now received five separate emails from students about how they either missed their final exam or final paper.

In each case the instructor posted multiple announcements in their blackboard shell about the deadline.

One student acknowledged that they missed the deadline but asked for an exception anyway. When that was not granted they asked that they be given "grace" and receive an additional 2 points to their course grade so they could earn a "B". Some part of me very slightly admires the audacity, I mean there is no way that is happening, but I was amused just a bit.

We allow for two different types of formal appeal, for a single grade in the course and for the course grade overall. One student went ahead and filed both appeals, their appeal was based mostly around how they have a learning disability that prevents them from reading dates correctly so they got confused. Of course they do not have anything on file with the office of accessibility, their excuse is that they had IEP in high school and they thought that automatically transferred over. Sigh.

[history_grrrl]

I am the immediate supervisor of our part-time folks, the semester ended last Friday and I have now received five separate emails from students about how they either missed their final exam or final paper.

I rarely grant extensions outside emergency-type circumstances or accommodation. But I tend to hold the line pretty firmly on "if you can't meet a deadline, talk to me before X is due." That includes students with accommodations that allow extensions; I want them to take at least that little bit of responsibility, even if it's an hour before the deadline. After class is over? Um, no.

[the_geneticist]

Got this gem today from a student who has asked to come to my office to talk about why they did so poorly on their [basketweaving] exam.  They have already failed to show up 2 times.

Dear Professor [Geneticist]
Sorry that I didn't make it to your office hours today at 11:00. I just realized that I have a [pottery] exam during this time so that is the reason why I didn't come. Can I reschedule another time with you next Tuesday from 2-3 p.m. in the afternoon? Again I am very sorry about this and I apologize sincerely.
Thank you, Professor [Geneticist]
By [stu]

I think I know at least one reason why stu failed the [basketweaving] exam.

Hi [stu],
I'll be here.  One piece of advice I have for you is to go to class.  Planning to skip [pottery] to come talk with me about [basketweaving] would put you behind in [pottery].  And you should write down the dates of all "big" assignments - quizzes, exams, presentations, etc. in a calendar or day planner as soon as you know when they will be.
Dr. [Geneticist]

I'm guessing they won't show up next Tuesday, but I'll be in my office at that time anyway.  No way I'll spend an hour going over how to have better study habits, but I'll be here.

[RatGuy]

Do you have any least favorite ways that students close an email? I just received one from a student (absent from 75% of the summer session so far) asking for an extension on his homework (he hasn't submitted anything yet). His closing is "thanks regardless" and seems passive-aggressive given the content of his request. I'm also not fond of "TIA!" but that's probably just generational.

[AmLitHist]

Do you have any least favorite ways that students close an email? I just received one from a student (absent from 75% of the summer session so far) asking for an extension on his homework (he hasn't submitted anything yet). His closing is "thanks regardless" and seems passive-aggressive given the content of his request. I'm also not fond of "TIA!" but that's probably just generational.

"I'll be contacting the Chancellor/President/Department Chair/BOT about this!"  (I might have been known to cheerfully provide the necessary email address and/or link to the formal academic appeal form, once or twice or more.  Ahem.)

The passive/aggressive and "TIA" closings aggravate me sometimes, too. 

[FishProf]

"I'll be contacting the Chancellor/President/Department Chair/BOT about this!"  (I might have been known to cheerfully provide the necessary email address and/or link to the formal academic appeal form, once or twice or more.  Ahem.)

On two occasions, I replied "No Need, I am CCing them on this reply".  Calling their bluff did not go well for them.

[bio-nonymous]

Do you have any least favorite ways that students close an email? I just received one from a student (absent from 75% of the summer session so far) asking for an extension on his homework (he hasn't submitted anything yet). His closing is "thanks regardless" and seems passive-aggressive given the content of his request. I'm also not fond of "TIA!" but that's probably just generational.

"I'll be contacting the Chancellor/President/Department Chair/BOT about this!"  (I might have been known to cheerfully provide the necessary email address and/or link to the formal academic appeal form, once or twice or more.  Ahem.)

The passive/aggressive and "TIA" closings aggravate me sometimes, too.

As far as I knew TIA meant transient ischemic attack--I had to look up on the web to find out what it meant as an abbreviated closing...

[EdnaMode]

As far as I knew TIA meant transient ischemic attack--I had to look up on the web to find out what it meant as an abbreviated closing...

I previously only knew it as a transient ischemic attack, but when I first saw it in an email signoff thought it meant, 'that is all' until someone told me it was 'thanks in advance.' Shows how much I know about all these new-fangled abbreviations. In my School, the Dean's assistant often writes things in an email subject line such as, 'the water will be turned back on in the building by 7 AM tomorrow EOM' and it took me a while to figure out that EOM meant 'end of message,' because there was no actual content in the body of the email. 

[apl68]

Do you have any least favorite ways that students close an email? I just received one from a student (absent from 75% of the summer session so far) asking for an extension on his homework (he hasn't submitted anything yet). His closing is "thanks regardless" and seems passive-aggressive given the content of his request. I'm also not fond of "TIA!" but that's probably just generational.

"I'll be contacting the Chancellor/President/Department Chair/BOT about this!"  (I might have been known to cheerfully provide the necessary email address and/or link to the formal academic appeal form, once or twice or more.  Ahem.)

The passive/aggressive and "TIA" closings aggravate me sometimes, too.

As far as I knew TIA meant transient ischemic attack--I had to look up on the web to find out what it meant as an abbreviated closing...

I'd never heard of either of them.  I correctly guessed that in the e-mail context it meant "thanks in advance."  I can see how that might come across annoying and presumptuous.  It probably is indeed a generational thing.

Now I know what a transient ischemic attack is.  You can learn all sorts of things at The Fora!

[smallcleanrat]

Do you have any least favorite ways that students close an email? I just received one from a student (absent from 75% of the summer session so far) asking for an extension on his homework (he hasn't submitted anything yet). His closing is "thanks regardless" and seems passive-aggressive given the content of his request. I'm also not fond of "TIA!" but that's probably just generational.

Interesting. I would have read this differently.

"Thanks regardless" sounds to me like "thanks either way (i.e. even if you say no)." More "thanks for your time" rather than "thanks in advance." Like what someone might say when they know their request is a long shot and they aren't really expecting a yes?

[kaysixteen]

No, what is actually 'all' dear sprite, is 'no'.

[Caracal]

Do you have any least favorite ways that students close an email? I just received one from a student (absent from 75% of the summer session so far) asking for an extension on his homework (he hasn't submitted anything yet). His closing is "thanks regardless" and seems passive-aggressive given the content of his request. I'm also not fond of "TIA!" but that's probably just generational.

Interesting. I would have read this differently.

"Thanks regardless" sounds to me like "thanks either way (i.e. even if you say no)." More "thanks for your time" rather than "thanks in advance." Like what someone might say when they know their request is a long shot and they aren't really expecting a yes?

Yeah me too. I probably wouldn't phrase it that way, but I've definitely written emails where I'm trying to communicate to someone that I get that I might be requesting something that isn't feasible and if that's the case I'm not going to be grumpy about it. Of course, the trick is that you need to be requesting something that might not be possible, but isn't absurd or ridiculous.