Favorite student emails

[the_geneticist]

I have heard arguments like this one.   They do sound more ego-driven than most.   Obviously the woman agreed with my decision to write the papers the way I did, answering her question.  But like I said, had I written the paper that way and been flunked, I would have insisted she tell me which data and conclusions I had written could have been omitted, and have the paper been successfully written.  I would expect no less from my students, but then again I do not give them max pp limits.

Oh, I don't think you would have flunked.  You'd probably have hit most of the key items on the rubric, but lacked a conclusion.  That's easy enough for you to figure out for yourself.  It's rather arrogant of you to insist that the instructor would have to tell you what you would need to omit (I'd file that under "nope, not my job").  That burden is on you as the writer. 
But I'm sure that was in the distant past and none of us will have you as a student.

I stand by my original advice that following directions is an excellent skill. 

[AmLitHist]

I had a professor in graduate school who assigned huge topics (e.g. "describe the role of religion in this week's medieval text") with a hard 2 or 3 page limit. Those were the most difficult papers I've ever written, and I received some of the best feedback I've ever gotten. I think of that every time I apply for a grant or fellowship with a short page limit or word count. Great training for real life.

And I also would have stopped grading after page 5.

AR.

I had one of these, too, and I agree:  it was the best education I received at any point during my years and years as a student.

I post target lengths for all my Comp I and II and lit class essay assignments.  They get a 10% over/under cushion; if the paper is under or over that cushion, it earns 50% and doesn't get read.  They know it going in, and we spend a good deal of time discussing the rationale (i.e., concise use of language; clear focus; narrowing the topic to the space available). Good and necessary life and career skills--as is reading and following instructions.

[kaysixteen]

Since I was substantially brighter and more academically prepared for this class than the overwhelming majority of the students, the assignment really was not written with me in mind.  IIRC, the assignment was a paragraph-long list of questions that had to be answered.   I remember looking at it then and asking myself how to do all this, and maintain a max of 5pp.  I was right.  IOW, the assignment itself was a Catch-22-- it could not be correctly completed in the max paper length assigned.  Intellectually I was faced with a choice, and made the right one, if the point of the paper was actually to learn the questions asked.

It would certainly have been within my rights, further, as a student, had I received a poor grade owing to the length of the paper, to ask the professor what could have been legitimately omitted.   That would be her job, what she would have been being paid to tell me.   Which of course is one of the sorts of reasons I do not give stupid page maxes on assignments I give.

The issue of properly formatting job app materials, presenting prospectuses according to set specs, etc, is different.  Really it is.

[Hegemony]

Yeah, I've had a lot of students who insisted that everything they said was so essential that they couldn't have left anything out. Their opinion on this was different from mine.

[kaysixteen]

Then of course you would have to tell them why they are wrong.  You are the teacher.   You have to do your job, which you are being paid for.   Even if you think you have better things to do.

[ergative]

I had a professor in graduate school who assigned huge topics (e.g. "describe the role of religion in this week's medieval text") with a hard 2 or 3 page limit. Those were the most difficult papers I've ever written, and I received some of the best feedback I've ever gotten. I think of that every time I apply for a grant or fellowship with a short page limit or word count. Great training for real life.

And I also would have stopped grading after page 5.

AR.

I had one of these, too, and I agree:  it was the best education I received at any point during my years and years as a student.

I post target lengths for all my Comp I and II and lit class essay assignments.  They get a 10% over/under cushion; if the paper is under or over that cushion, it earns 50% and doesn't get read.  They know it going in, and we spend a good deal of time discussing the rationale (i.e., concise use of language; clear focus; narrowing the topic to the space available). Good and necessary life and career skills--as is reading and following instructions.

Huh--so what you're saying is that a student is guaranteed half credit of they paste in lorem ipsum to a length outside the +/- 10% cushion target. That won't work if it's all they do, but it's one way to ease stress of finals week if you have a grade cushion that can absorb a 50% on the last paper.

[the_geneticist]

Then of course you would have to tell them why they are wrong.  You are the teacher.   You have to do your job, which you are being paid for.   Even if you think you have better things to do.

If a student has written overly long, convoluted sentences with unnecessary detail, my job is to point out the first example or two and give comments.  I'm not going to re-write it for them.

Or if they were asked to provide "3-4 relevant, current examples" and they provided 12, I'd tell them to narrow it down to the most illustrative/controversial/etc.  I'm not going to pick for them.

This is a case for "read and apply the rubric".  Or "see the assignment instructions".   

[AmLitHist]

I had a professor in graduate school who assigned huge topics (e.g. "describe the role of religion in this week's medieval text") with a hard 2 or 3 page limit. Those were the most difficult papers I've ever written, and I received some of the best feedback I've ever gotten. I think of that every time I apply for a grant or fellowship with a short page limit or word count. Great training for real life.

And I also would have stopped grading after page 5.

AR.

I had one of these, too, and I agree:  it was the best education I received at any point during my years and years as a student.

I post target lengths for all my Comp I and II and lit class essay assignments.  They get a 10% over/under cushion; if the paper is under or over that cushion, it earns 50% and doesn't get read.  They know it going in, and we spend a good deal of time discussing the rationale (i.e., concise use of language; clear focus; narrowing the topic to the space available). Good and necessary life and career skills--as is reading and following instructions.

Huh--so what you're saying is that a student is guaranteed half credit of they paste in lorem ipsum to a length outside the +/- 10% cushion target. That won't work if it's all they do, but it's one way to ease stress of finals week if you have a grade cushion that can absorb a 50% on the last paper.

No, if I get the right length of lorem ipsum, it earns a zero, because it doesn't address the assignment.

[ergative]

I had a professor in graduate school who assigned huge topics (e.g. "describe the role of religion in this week's medieval text") with a hard 2 or 3 page limit. Those were the most difficult papers I've ever written, and I received some of the best feedback I've ever gotten. I think of that every time I apply for a grant or fellowship with a short page limit or word count. Great training for real life.

And I also would have stopped grading after page 5.

AR.

I had one of these, too, and I agree:  it was the best education I received at any point during my years and years as a student.

I post target lengths for all my Comp I and II and lit class essay assignments.  They get a 10% over/under cushion; if the paper is under or over that cushion, it earns 50% and doesn't get read.  They know it going in, and we spend a good deal of time discussing the rationale (i.e., concise use of language; clear focus; narrowing the topic to the space available). Good and necessary life and career skills--as is reading and following instructions.

Huh--so what you're saying is that a student is guaranteed half credit of they paste in lorem ipsum to a length outside the +/- 10% cushion target. That won't work if it's all they do, but it's one way to ease stress of finals week if you have a grade cushion that can absorb a 50% on the last paper.

No, if I get the right length of lorem ipsum, it earns a zero, because it doesn't address the assignment.

Ahh, so you do read it, you sneaky prof, you!

[AmLitHist]

Ahh, so you do read it, you sneaky prof, you!

Dang, you caught me!  :-)

[polly_mer]

The issue of properly formatting job app materials, presenting prospectuses according to set specs, etc, is different.  Really it is.

It's not.  The fact that you think it is explains a lot about your career.

[FishProf]

Student email #1: Good evening [Fishprof First Name Last Name] this is [Student] I am a second year here at [Fishprof U] a resident I was wondering, I wanted to add an extra class in my schedule because right now I am taking two. I know that I am past the deadline but I was thinking about [Basketweaving] 266 OL because [Basketweaving] is my major. I have emailed both academic success and my teacher and they have told me to ask you about it.

My response #1: [Student]

[Basketweaving] 266 is not a class for [Basketweaving] majors.

Student email #2: Is that so can you explain I thought of taking it because it counted for some credits and it didn't require a prerequisite the other other [Basketweaving] classes were full unfortunately what can I do? 

My response #2: You can't take it.  As the add deadline has passed, you can't take anything else, either.  Unless you take a night course.  THAT deadline to add is the 15th.
Fishprof

What I want to say:  We've been in classes for two weeks now.  You are living ON CAMPUS.  Where have you been? (Residents have to be FT so now I wonder how THAT has happened, too)

[polly_mer]

(Residents have to be FT so now I wonder how THAT has happened, too)

My bet is someone dropped a course without checking all the rules and is now scrambling after an authority pointed out that residents must be full time.

[FishProf]

(Residents have to be FT so now I wonder how THAT has happened, too)

My bet is someone dropped a course without checking all the rules and is now scrambling after an authority pointed out that residents must be full time.

I strongly suspect you are correct.  Today I will learn if my mask also protects me from students crying in my office.

[MarathonRunner]

I would not give a pass to a freshman, even a first generation one, who asked if a textbook was needed.  Virtually all classes they would have had in hs, other than some non academic ones, would have required a text, so why would they assume college classes would somehow be textless?  I would mot be rude in response but would certainly make it crystal clear they had to have all required texts for college success.

Nope. When I was in high school plenty of my classes had absolutely no textbooks. We had textbooks for mathematics classes and novels to read for English and French but otherwise textbooks (provided by the school, not paid for out-of-pocket) were hit or miss. Some classes had them, plenty of others didn't.