Favorite student emails

[marshwiggle]

I just had an email from a student asking about an assignment in which they are suppose to compare and contrast two readings from class. They wanted to know if they could use the same reading for this assignment. Instead of using two readings, only use one reading. I'm not quite sure what the thought process behind this request might have been.

"But, like, why would readings say DIFFERENT things???? Shouldn't they all say the same thing???? How would you know what was right?"

[the_geneticist]

I just had an email from a student asking about an assignment in which they are suppose to compare and contrast two readings from class. They wanted to know if they could use the same reading for this assignment. Instead of using two readings, only use one reading. I'm not quite sure what the thought process behind this request might have been.

"But, like, why would readings say DIFFERENT things???? Shouldn't they all say the same thing???? How would you know what was right?"

Bwahaha!  You made me snort my tea out my nose!!
"But why would they write something that is WRONG?!?!?"

[apl68]

I just had an email from a student asking about an assignment in which they are suppose to compare and contrast two readings from class. They wanted to know if they could use the same reading for this assignment. Instead of using two readings, only use one reading. I'm not quite sure what the thought process behind this request might have been.

"But, like, why would readings say DIFFERENT things???? Shouldn't they all say the same thing???? How would you know what was right?"

Bwahaha!  You made me snort my tea out my nose!!
"But why would they write something that is WRONG?!?!?"

More teachable moments.  Well it is supposed to be a school, after all.

Who knew that getting an education required learning so much stuff?

[dr_codex]

Good morning professor,

I'll be in class today but I'd like to ask if you cannot call on me today because my girlfriend just broke up with me and I just don't feel like talking at all. Thank you.

[downer]

Good morning professor,

I'll be in class today but I'd like to ask if you cannot call on me today because my girlfriend just broke up with me and I just don't feel like talking at all. Thank you.

That melts my heart.

[Anon1787]

You can only teach the students you have, not the students you wish you had.

The overwhelming majority of students I have (many of them have work and other obligations) manage to arrange their schedules so that they can be present at the scheduled class meetings for class activities. Allowing work schedule as an excuse would open up the floodgates for special accommodation requests.

[traductio]

I just had an email from a student asking about an assignment in which they are suppose to compare and contrast two readings from class. They wanted to know if they could use the same reading for this assignment. Instead of using two readings, only use one reading. I'm not quite sure what the thought process behind this request might have been.

Are you by any chance reading both Cervantes' and Pierre Menard's Don Quixote?

[Caracal]

You can only teach the students you have, not the students you wish you had.

The overwhelming majority of students I have (many of them have work and other obligations) manage to arrange their schedules so that they can be present at the scheduled class meetings for class activities. Allowing work schedule as an excuse would open up the floodgates for special accommodation requests.

Stuff like this is why I have policies that never result in some dire result if a student misses one class, or one test. Obviously, work can't be an excuse for missing class, but stuff happens.

[Charlotte]

I just had an email from a student asking about an assignment in which they are suppose to compare and contrast two readings from class. They wanted to know if they could use the same reading for this assignment. Instead of using two readings, only use one reading. I'm not quite sure what the thought process behind this request might have been.

Are you by any chance reading both Cervantes' and Pierre Menard's Don Quixote?

Now that would be an interesting thing to talk about in class! But no, these readings are mostly short poems.

[apl68]

I just had an email from a student asking about an assignment in which they are suppose to compare and contrast two readings from class. They wanted to know if they could use the same reading for this assignment. Instead of using two readings, only use one reading. I'm not quite sure what the thought process behind this request might have been.

Are you by any chance reading both Cervantes' and Pierre Menard's Don Quixote?

That's got to be better than reading Cervantes and watching that awful movie version of Man of La Mancha.

[Aster]

Stu Dent? "Professor, this is in regard to the exam that everyone took. it is absolutely imperative that I make this up. Please let me know when you will drop it off at the testing facility."

This message came from personal email with no class ID identifier on it. There was no subject line either. I sent a terse response that this email was incomplete and to follow-up with a correctly written email, using the correct university email system. I expected a quick response back, but crickets.

Hours later, just for funs, I went through all of my class rosters to figure out who this person is and what class he was referring to. I checked all of my classes twice. This guy is not enrolled as a student with me...

And now I just completed a virus scan on my computer, just in case someone tried to hack me. Super.

[AvidReader]

And now I just completed a virus scan on my computer, just in case someone tried to hack me. Super.

Honestly, this would be a lot more useful to hackers than the "dean needs a gift card" emails. I get this sort of email all the time and reply almost exactly as you did.

AR.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Apparently, I cannot take even a day off from student email. I received this gem today:

"hey professor, can you reply to my emails, so that I can finish my lab report!!! Please"

I guess, I'm holding this student back from doing the lab report? Maybe I should be disciplined somehow. BTW, the student sent me one email yesterday and then two more today.

[science.expat]

I wonder why students don't realise that they sabotage themselves with repeated emails.

I received an unsolicited email recently from a potential PhD student. Normally I bin these straight away but this person actually looked quite interesting. I put it in my to be looked at in the next few days pile and moved on. Two days later I received a follow up, which I ignored. Three days after that I received a further follow up to which I responded that I didn't have any available opportunities. Simply because the person was being a pest.

[kaysixteen]

OK, I  see your point about students' being pests.  That said, if the potential PhD  student looked interesting enough to be potentially considered, why didn't you spend ten seconds to email him back on his first contact, telling him that you would be considering him further asap?