Favorite student emails

[Langue_doc]

Fishprof, I didn't know that students had "establishments" with professors.

Received this one: "Hi, I just wanted to know where I could find the reading [title of the reading]" (all lower case, despite the fact that the title includes proper nouns)

Reading, handout on background information on the reading, and another handout on the vocabulary are all on Canvas, in the first module. Stu hasn't completed any assignments so far.

This is going to be a long semester.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Fishprof, I didn't know that students had "establishments" with professors.

Received this one: "Hi, I just wanted to know where I could find the reading [title of the reading]" (all lower case, despite the fact that the title includes proper nouns)

Reading, handout on background information on the reading, and another handout on the vocabulary are all on Canvas, in the first module. Stu hasn't completed any assignments so far.

This is going to be a long semester.

I feel your pain. Lab reports must be one file and in one of three formats. These requirements are listed in the syllabus, the assignment folder where they turn in the lab and in the module instructions. Guess how many people submitted up to five files for a lab report?

Hint: It's not one.

[FishProf]

I have to put in my syllabus and announce, repeatedly, "I will NOT assemble your lab reports for you".

Maddening.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I have to put in my syllabus and announce, repeatedly, "I will NOT assemble your lab reports for you".

Maddening.

I agree. I've resorted to not quite draconian measures and just gave them zeros after a 2 email warning.

[Langue_doc]

Yet another one from Student who has apparently not read any of the information and who has not submitted any of the assignments:

"What do you need exactly by this week ? Im confused on what is to be handed in, I read the discussion post and the week 2 module, but still confused on it. Where can I find the [reading] as well?"

Perhaps read the first week's module? In my reply to Stu, I was tempted to add a sentence to the effect that the course is not taught through email.

[dr_codex]

This one was forwarded to a bunch of us by our Academic Dean:

I dont know if the problem is on my end but its been a full week of classes but none of the professors have contacted me for anything like a zoom call or other method of communication i dont know if im missing classes or not and i wish not to fall to far behind i wont be able to go to campus tomorrow because i am still waiting on my covid results if there is anyway you can help me please let me know

I'd love to know what Stu thought we were all doing, behind Stu's back. Or what made Stu finally twig that perhaps all of the faculty, administration, and staff were not the problem. Activate your email!

[Langue_doc]

This one was forwarded to a bunch of us by our Academic Dean:

I dont know if the problem is on my end but its been a full week of classes but none of the professors have contacted me for anything like a zoom call or other method of communication i dont know if im missing classes or not and i wish not to fall to far behind i wont be able to go to campus tomorrow because i am still waiting on my covid results if there is anyway you can help me please let me know

I'd love to know what Stu thought we were all doing, behind Stu's back. Or what made Stu finally twig that perhaps all of the faculty, administration, and staff were not the problem. Activate your email!

Perhaps Stu hasn't yet logged on to their online course? Or not turned on their notifications? Or waiting for their professor to add them to their Facebook account?

I'm getting ready to send an announcement to the effect that the modules are in fact the equivalent of class lectures and that students are expected to *read* the modules. All the so-called missing links and readings *are* in the modules! I suspect several of the students are using their phones instead of their computers and are just scrolling through the information without really reading anything.

[mamselle]

To enlarge that image only slightly, it seems as if some people just expect to scroll through life, in fact.

M.

[Charlotte]

I suspect several of the students are using their phones instead of their computers and are just scrolling through the information without really reading anything.

To be fair, I've found that quite a few of my students don't have access to a computer at home. With so many libraries and campuses trying to limit crowds, they've been struggling to get access to computers.

[RatGuy]

"I tossed my cookies during my workout today, so I won't be in class."

While I applaud her caution, I told her that she hasn't attended any classes yet so far (we're in week 3).

Fantasy reply: You can go to the gym before 8am but you can't attend class? Maybe you should toss the class as you're tossing those cookies.

[dr_codex]

This one was forwarded to a bunch of us by our Academic Dean:

I dont know if the problem is on my end but its been a full week of classes but none of the professors have contacted me for anything like a zoom call or other method of communication i dont know if im missing classes or not and i wish not to fall to far behind i wont be able to go to campus tomorrow because i am still waiting on my covid results if there is anyway you can help me please let me know

I'd love to know what Stu thought we were all doing, behind Stu's back. Or what made Stu finally twig that perhaps all of the faculty, administration, and staff were not the problem. Activate your email!

Perhaps Stu hasn't yet logged on to their online course? Or not turned on their notifications? Or waiting for their professor to add them to their Facebook account?

I'm getting ready to send an announcement to the effect that the modules are in fact the equivalent of class lectures and that students are expected to *read* the modules. All the so-called missing links and readings *are* in the modules! I suspect several of the students are using their phones instead of their computers and are just scrolling through the information without really reading anything.

Much more fundamental. New-Stu never set up a college email account. Virtually everything is linked to that, including CMS authentication.

Also, Stu never answered emails sent to a private account, nor phone calls from the Registrar.

Stu is a very, very good ghost.

[marshwiggle]

Much more fundamental. New-Stu never set up a college email account. Virtually everything is linked to that, including CMS authentication.

Also, Stu never answered emails sent to a private account, nor phone calls from the Registrar.

Stu is a very, very good ghost.

I dont know if the problem is on my end but its been a full week of classes but none of the professors have contacted me for anything like a zoom call or other method of communication i dont know if im missing classes or not and i wish not to fall to far behind i wont be able to go to campus tomorrow because i am still waiting on my covid results if there is anyway you can help me please let me know

Problem solved: It's on your end.

[research_prof]

Email from student:

Dear <research-prof's-name> [no title just plain--my first and last name],

I am not sure about the answers to the assignment questions. Can you take a look at the assignment (attached) before the deadline and let me know if they are correct?

<student's name>

1. Am I am a kindergarten teacher?
2. What is the purpose of me setting up piazza for questions?
3. The fact that I and 2 TAs hold office hours every week does not say much, right?

[marshwiggle]

Email from student:

Dear <research-prof's-name> [not title just plain--my first and last name],

I am not sure about the answers to the assignment questions. Can you take a look at the assignment (attached) before the deadline and let me know if they are correct?

<student's name>

1. Am I am a kindergarten teacher?
2. What is the purpose of me setting up piazza for questions?
3. The fact that I and 2 TAs hold office hours every week does not say much, right?

Email reply 5 minutes before the deadline:
"They're not."

[research_prof]

Email from student:

Dear <research-prof's-name> [not title just plain--my first and last name],

I am not sure about the answers to the assignment questions. Can you take a look at the assignment (attached) before the deadline and let me know if they are correct?

<student's name>

1. Am I am a kindergarten teacher?
2. What is the purpose of me setting up piazza for questions?
3. The fact that I and 2 TAs hold office hours every week does not say much, right?

Email reply 5 minutes before the deadline:
"They're not."

I would not do that. I just said that we would like to see his opinion about the questions and that we will provide feedback once we look at the assignment after the deadline. I cc'd the TAs and said "if you have specific questions, please feel free to let us know".

The questions are not hard. It is just that students might need to google a bit to answer one of them. And they are not willing to even do that.