Favorite student emails

[kiana]

I usually have two or at the most three lost students in this course. This semester, there seems to be a disproportionate number of lost students.

FWIW, I saw a MASSIVE increase in the number of lost students last fall, and anecdotally a lot of my friends saw the same.

[Caracal]

To put it another way,  in a "normal" classroom, the instruction is (in principle) interactive (i.e lecture), and the student practice is done in solitude (i.e homework). In a "flipped" classrom, the instruction is done in solitude (videos or readings), and the student practice is interactive (discussions, tutorials, etc.)

The model only really applies to STEM, language and some social science disciplines. It really doesn't usually make sense in the context of humanities classes where students always do the reading outside of class.

[arcturus]

Student in asynchronous class emails me telling me that they can't learn the topic asychronously so can I include some synchronous lectures?

No, I reply. I suggest they consider dropping the class.

I think an alternative reply would be: You are welcome to come to office hours to discuss any of the material. My office hours and zoom link are posted in the LMS. I look forward to seeing you on [Friday].

[Langue_doc]

Double post: the quote function seems to have gone berserk in the above--tried to fix it, but had to give up.

Another one from another student sent [around 6 PM on Saturday]:

"Is there any way you can send the proper example of what you expect on the vocab, the ones that you put in the assignment description shows both wrong ways and not to have in our vocab assignment. I just want to see the proper way to have it in our assignment."

The directions for this assignment are very clear and include two examples submitted by students from a previous course. Students who completed this assignment earned full credit.

Students, you were required to look up the meanings of the words in your reading before completing the two other assignments.

Follow-up from Stu posted in the comments box of the assignment:
I sent an email of what you would expect on the vocab assignment and never got a response back, so I tried my best on this assignment and trying to figure out with the two examples you gave us that were shown to be incorrect, so I didn't know how you wanted to be and this is what i came up with the description you gave us on the assigment. Thank you.

Examples provided were models of correct responses. Response to Stu's 6:30 PM Saturday email went out at 8 AM today.

Posted by: arcturus
« on: Today at 07:09:12 AM »Insert Quote
Quote from: downer on Today at 04:38:32 AM
Student in asynchronous class emails me telling me that they can't learn the topic asychronously so can I include some synchronous lectures?

No, I reply. I suggest they consider dropping the class.
I think an alternative reply would be: You are welcome to come to office hours to discuss any of the material. My office hours and zoom link are posted in the LMS. I look forward to seeing you on [Friday].

Stu will expect a summary of what was covered so far.

[histchick]

Student in asynchronous class emails me telling me that they can't learn the topic asychronously so can I include some synchronous lectures?

No, I reply. I suggest they consider dropping the class.

I think an alternative reply would be: You are welcome to come to office hours to discuss any of the material. My office hours and zoom link are posted in the LMS. I look forward to seeing you on [Friday].

I agree with this alternate reply.  Even if (and that's not clear from the student's e-mail without more information about the student) Stu is convinced that nothing but synchronous lectures will do, then at least you've documented that you tried. 

Then again, what do I know?  Last night, I received a nasty e-mail from a student who then ended the rant by wishing me a "blessed night." That chain, and another from same student earlier in the week, went straight to my chair.  Haven't had to do that in years. 

[the_geneticist]

Langue_doc: I think we have the same students!! I'm always glad of the Outlook delay send function (no matter when they wrote to me, they're not getting a reply til 9am Monday).

bacardiandlime, you're much more considerate than me. Mine go out at 8 in the morning. Students with real concerns get an immediate response though. Your moniker reminded me that I need a drink.

Lol. Nobody is getting an email from me at the weekend.

No one is getting an email from me on weekends either.  But I also purposefully set up my classes so that nothing is DUE on weekends or Mondays. 
My syllabus says that emails received 8-4 M-F will be answered within 24 hours & that I do not answer emails on weekends.  I'm not "on call 24/7" and neither are my TAs.

[downer]

Student in asynchronous class emails me telling me that they can't learn the topic asychronously so can I include some synchronous lectures?

No, I reply. I suggest they consider dropping the class.

I think an alternative reply would be: You are welcome to come to office hours to discuss any of the material. My office hours and zoom link are posted in the LMS. I look forward to seeing you on [Friday].

Sure, that is a possible reply. Unfortunately I don't get paid to do office hours.

[marshwiggle]

No one is getting an email from me on weekends either.  But I also purposefully set up my classes so that nothing is DUE on weekends or Mondays. 
My syllabus says that emails received 8-4 M-F will be answered within 24 hours & that I do not answer emails on weekends.  I'm not "on call 24/7" and neither are my TAs.

That's like me. The dropboxes for students to submit are open from Tuesday to Thursday for all of my courses and labs, so nothing even can be submitted from Friday to Monday, so by definition no weekend email is urgent enough to need a reply before the workday on Monday.

[downer]

Student in asynchronous class emails me telling me that they can't learn the topic asychronously so can I include some synchronous lectures?

No, I reply. I suggest they consider dropping the class.

The good news is that the student did indeed drop the course.

[the_geneticist]

Got this one late Friday from a student who forgot to take their online quiz again.  And forgot to turn in their lab assignment until 3 days after the due date.  Again.

Hello Professor Geneticist,

Though I understand for worksheets, the fact that I missed quizzes hurts me in more ways than my grades. Last quarter, I took [Other Class] and the due dates for the quizzes were different. Thanks to this, I missed another quiz even though I was making sure I would take it that week. Though it is all my fault for not remembering the syllabus, it is a mistake that seriously hurts my grades. It has been very difficult to conform to my new schedule when it has been the third quarter being in quarantine.
I also learned recently that some students were allowed to take the [Basketweaving] midterm, even after they missed taking it on midterm day. Missing lab quizzes are less important than missing a midterm, and yet they were allowed to retake it.
I respectfully ask, one more time, if there is any way to redeem my lab quiz grades because it hurt my overall grade greatly. Please forgive me if I was ever rude in the email, I was in a small state of panic.

Thank you,
Panicked Student

Fantasy reply:
The entire point of the pre-lab quiz is to prepare you for lab.  Read the lab manual, take the quiz, earn the points.
How is this hurting you in more ways than your grade?
Yes, different classes have different assignment due dates.  Why is this a surprise? 
If this is your third quarter of online classes, you should be better at this.
Lecture isn't my responsibility.  FYI, those students had prior arrangements to take the exam later.  It wasn't a "retake" since they took it once just like everyone else.
Your late worksheets are hurting your grade way more than your missed quizzes.
Get a damn day planner.

My actual reply was diplomatic.  This remote learning is really hurting students who need the structure of in-person classes.  It's really hard to miss a quiz when you are handed a paper copy in class.

[spork]

Got this one late Friday from a student who forgot to take their online quiz again.  And forgot to turn in their lab assignment until 3 days after the due date.  Again.

Hello Professor Geneticist,

Though I understand for worksheets, the fact that I missed quizzes hurts me in more ways than my grades. Last quarter, I took [Other Class] and the due dates for the quizzes were different. Thanks to this, I missed another quiz even though I was making sure I would take it that week. Though it is all my fault for not remembering the syllabus, it is a mistake that seriously hurts my grades. It has been very difficult to conform to my new schedule when it has been the third quarter being in quarantine.
I also learned recently that some students were allowed to take the [Basketweaving] midterm, even after they missed taking it on midterm day. Missing lab quizzes are less important than missing a midterm, and yet they were allowed to retake it.
I respectfully ask, one more time, if there is any way to redeem my lab quiz grades because it hurt my overall grade greatly. Please forgive me if I was ever rude in the email, I was in a small state of panic.

Thank you,
Panicked Student

Fantasy reply:
The entire point of the pre-lab quiz is to prepare you for lab.  Read the lab manual, take the quiz, earn the points.
How is this hurting you in more ways than your grade?
Yes, different classes have different assignment due dates.  Why is this a surprise? 
If this is your third quarter of online classes, you should be better at this.
Lecture isn't my responsibility.  FYI, those students had prior arrangements to take the exam later.  It wasn't a "retake" since they took it once just like everyone else.
Your late worksheets are hurting your grade way more than your missed quizzes.
Get a damn day planner.

My actual reply was diplomatic.  This remote learning is really hurting students who need the structure of in-person classes.  It's really hard to miss a quiz when you are handed a paper copy in class.

This is not a gripe at you, but at the culture: as we further infantilize the post-secondary educational experience, instructors will at some point in the near future be asked by "student life professionals" to give students wake-up calls to remind them that they have a class that day at such-and-such time.

[AvidReader]

Week 2 of classes:

Dear Dr [Reader],
I wanted to let you know I really am trying in your class even though I haven't shown up for class. [. . .] I just want to realize that it is okay to make mistakes and choices ha ha. I know that coming to your class is a choice, but I really am trying to get off of academic probation, and get a work study job. [. . .] I would just like some guidance as to what I need to be doing. Any advice I would accept because you were once a college student.
Sincerely,
[Always Absent Student]

Week 3 of classes:

Dear Dr [Reader]
Hello, my name is [Always Absent Student] and I want to know before it's too late in the semester if I can do a bonus assignment to get the grade I need to raise my grade point average? If not I understand, you've made yourself clear in the syllabus. I just have a lot of work to do, and I'm trying to manage my time wisely. Have a good day!
Sincerely,
[Always Absent Student]


Stu does get bonus points for politeness. Should I tell Stu to turn in this week's large assignment for a "bonus" on the grade??? Stu has turned in 3 of my 6 easy-points early activities. *Those* are the bonus activities. Turn them in for credit. Really.

AR.

[marshwiggle]

Week 2 of classes:

Dear Dr [Reader],
I wanted to let you know I really am trying in your class even though I haven't shown up for class. [. . .] I just want to realize that it is okay to make mistakes and choices ha ha. I know that coming to your class is a choice, but I really am trying to get off of academic probation, and get a work study job. [. . .] I would just like some guidance as to what I need to be doing. Any advice I would accept because you were once a college student.
Sincerely,
[Always Absent Student]

I "really am trying" to become an olympic athlete; all I still need to do is pick a sport and practice.

[AvidReader]

My favorite part of this email is actually that Stu will accept my guidance "because [I was] once a college student."

Stu did not accept follow last week's guidance.

AR

[Langue_doc]

Two more today:

Goodafternoon Professor , when is [assignment] due ?

Stu, read the module and the syllabus. It's all there--due date and time (repeated twice in the same module and in the syllabus) and the date students can access the assignment folder.

Hi, do you ever allow students to email you papers for feedback before submission.

Students are allowed to revise and resubmit these assignments. Stu, what part of "I will not be opening emailed attachments" do you not understand? Review my comments on your topic, read the directions, the model essays, and the checklist.

These are polite emails, but no amount of politeness can substitute for actually reading the modules.

ETA Email from Stu 1 above timestamped 11:45 PM:
Good evening Professor , I saw that I got a 5/10 on my library assignment saying that it was incomplete. I did my best and followed the all directions to the assignment and it's was incomplete, what was incomplete about my work ? Can you please explain ? And when is [assignment] due? Thank you in advance.

Stu, read the modules and the examples in the directions for the assignment.