Favorite student emails

[hamburger]

Two more today:

Goodafternoon Professor , when is [assignment] due ?

Stu, read the module and the syllabus. It's all there--due date and time (repeated twice in the same module and in the syllabus) and the date students can access the assignment folder.

Hi, do you ever allow students to email you papers for feedback before submission.

Students are allowed to revise and resubmit these assignments. Stu, what part of "I will not be opening emailed attachments" do you not understand? Review my comments on your topic, read the directions, the model essays, and the checklist.

These are polite emails, but no amount of politeness can substitute for actually reading the modules.

ETA Email from Stu 1 above timestamped 11:45 PM:
Good evening Professor , I saw that I got a 5/10 on my library assignment saying that it was incomplete. I did my best and followed the all directions to the assignment and it's was incomplete, what was incomplete about my work ? Can you please explain ? And when is [assignment] due? Thank you in advance.

Stu, read the modules and the examples in the directions for the assignment.

I had many students like that in my previous CC. Even I verbally mentioned countless number of times and also explicitly put on the front page of exam papers that they had to write down their name and student ID or else they would get a zero, half of the class did not do that.

One time I got a final repot from a group of foreign students. They only did half of the work. Even the parts they completed were not perfect. Two of them (from Ir*n) complained to the department head accusing me of giving them poor marks "due to discrimination". One girl pretended to cry and at the end, a director asked her what kind of marks she wanted and ended up raising the scores of the entire group without my consent nor knowing. I found that out later on. They also posted their version of the story on RMP.

Why schools keep accepting this kind of people as students? Is it for money? Is it for the so-called equality opportunity for all?  Why the education system is so desperate to keep them? If they can't even read the syllabus or don't bother to do it, they don't deserve to be students.

[downer]

The role of a CC is to accept all students who meet the entry requirements. Being a student is not a privilege, and if you ask prospective students whether they will read the syllabus, they will all say yes. Getting a scholarship is a privelege -- maybe these students don't deserve scholarships. And maybe these students won't pass.

[research_prof]

Message from student on canvas (despite having asked them to send messages on piazza so that other students who have the same question can see them):

Hey,

I am not sure about question 3 of the homework assignment. [...] Should the answer be 80 or 140? Please help!

---

I am not going to nag about the actual content of the message, which is what it is (the student probably thinks he is still in elementary school). I would like to ask the following: Have you ever been addressed by "Hey"?

[hamburger]

Message from student on canvas (despite having asked them to send messages on piazza so that other students who have the same question can see them):

Hey,

I am not sure about question 3 of the homework assignment. [...] Should the answer be 80 or 140? Please help!

---

I am not going to nag about the actual content of the message, which is what it is (the student probably thinks he is still in elementary school). I would like to ask the following: Have you ever been addressed by "Hey"?

I hate students addressing me as "Hey", "Dude", etc. Yet, they are better than those who did not even address me and put their demands up front.

[apl68]

Week 2 of classes:

Dear Dr [Reader],
I wanted to let you know I really am trying in your class even though I haven't shown up for class. [. . .] I just want to realize that it is okay to make mistakes and choices ha ha. I know that coming to your class is a choice, but I really am trying to get off of academic probation, and get a work study job. [. . .] I would just like some guidance as to what I need to be doing. Any advice I would accept because you were once a college student.
Sincerely,
[Always Absent Student]

I "really am trying" to become an olympic athlete; all I still need to do is pick a sport and practice.

Seems like Yoda once said something to the effect that there is no "try."  One does or doesn't.

[research_prof]

Message from student on canvas (despite having asked them to send messages on piazza so that other students who have the same question can see them):

Hey,

I am not sure about question 3 of the homework assignment. [...] Should the answer be 80 or 140? Please help!

---

I am not going to nag about the actual content of the message, which is what it is (the student probably thinks he is still in elementary school). I would like to ask the following: Have you ever been addressed by "Hey"?

I hate students addressing me as "Hey", "Dude", etc. Yet, they are better than those who did not even address me and put their demands up front.

Sure. But I feel this specific student believes he deserves some sort of special treatment compared to all the other students that post their questions on piazza. He has essentially started a common message thread with me on canvas from the beginning of the semester and has ignored the fact that I have asked him to post his questions on piazza as everybody else does.

Of course, no need to mention that all his questions are of that type (asking for solutions to assignments, asking for very minor clarifications, etc.). Not sure if he believes I will get to know his name this way and give him a better grade or something.. for sure, I have gotten to know his name, but not in a positive sense at this point.

[ciao_yall]

Message from student on canvas (despite having asked them to send messages on piazza so that other students who have the same question can see them):

Hey,

I am not sure about question 3 of the homework assignment. [...] Should the answer be 80 or 140? Please help!

---

I am not going to nag about the actual content of the message, which is what it is (the student probably thinks he is still in elementary school). I would like to ask the following: Have you ever been addressed by "Hey"?

A) Step me through how you got to 80, and then how you got to 140. Compare your steps to the book. What do you think you might have done wrong?

Usually the level of effort to explain what they did is enough to turn them off from ever emailing me again.

[research_prof]

Message from student on canvas (despite having asked them to send messages on piazza so that other students who have the same question can see them):

Hey,

I am not sure about question 3 of the homework assignment. [...] Should the answer be 80 or 140? Please help!

---

I am not going to nag about the actual content of the message, which is what it is (the student probably thinks he is still in elementary school). I would like to ask the following: Have you ever been addressed by "Hey"?

A) Step me through how you got to 80, and then how you got to 140. Compare your steps to the book. What do you think you might have done wrong?

Usually the level of effort to explain what they did is enough to turn them off from ever emailing me again.

I asked him to read through the lecture slides and watch the lecture videos. I have something very similar there, he just did not bother doing any of that first I suppose.

[the_geneticist]

Message from student on canvas (despite having asked them to send messages on piazza so that other students who have the same question can see them):

Hey,

I am not sure about question 3 of the homework assignment. [...] Should the answer be 80 or 140? Please help!

---

I am not going to nag about the actual content of the message, which is what it is (the student probably thinks he is still in elementary school). I would like to ask the following: Have you ever been addressed by "Hey"?

A) Step me through how you got to 80, and then how you got to 140. Compare your steps to the book. What do you think you might have done wrong?

Usually the level of effort to explain what they did is enough to turn them off from ever emailing me again.

Or it sometimes will make a student realize that they CAN check their work themselves.  Or that you are teaching them a process.  They sometimes think that "good students" will just have answers pop into their heads.  I've coached a lot of students through some basics like "write down what is given/what formulas could you use/draw a diagram/estimate an answer/what units does your answer need to be in". 

[AvidReader]

I would like to ask the following: Have you ever been addressed by "Hey"?

I hate students addressing me as "Hey", "Dude", etc. Yet, they are better than those who did not even address me and put their demands up front.

I occasionally get "Hey" on its own, but I am far more likely to get "Hey Dr. Reader." Since my email guidelines recommend salutations, I count that as a win.

With email on phones now, I imagine that "Hey" carries over from text messages and that they don't even think about it.

For the "common message thread with [you] on canvas," I would reply to every single message with the boilerplate text, "Thank you for your message. In accordance with class policies, please post your message to our class discussion on piazza. Thank you!"

AR.

[RatGuy]

For Spring 2021, classes that are designated "HYFLEX" are required to have some sort of in-person component. Instructors who were concerned about COVID were allowed to teach classes designated "AVSync," meaning synchronous online. The Provost's Office sent out an email reminding faculty of the in-person requirement.

Now grad students are using the departmental listservs to voice displeasure....in a most unprofessional manner as possible. The emails will likely be my "favorite" of this term. Luckily I'm not part of the graduate faculty, so I don't have to deal with these students specifically.

[Langue_doc]

Email from student apologizing for plagiarizing. This was a low-stakes assignment, so I just highlighted the first plagiarized sentence and copied and pasted the original sentence along with the URL. There were three instances of plagiarism, but only one acknowledgment.

Good for you, Stu. You will do well in this course.

[onehappyunicorn]

A student emailed me at the beginning of this week because they couldn't find the course content on blackboard I was talking about in my introductory email to the class. As proof that the content didn't exist the student sent several screenshots. They were screenshots of a completely different class.

[Caracal]

For Spring 2021, classes that are designated "HYFLEX" are required to have some sort of in-person component. Instructors who were concerned about COVID were allowed to teach classes designated "AVSync," meaning synchronous online. The Provost's Office sent out an email reminding faculty of the in-person requirement.

Now grad students are using the departmental listservs to voice displeasure....in a most unprofessional manner as possible. The emails will likely be my "favorite" of this term. Luckily I'm not part of the graduate faculty, so I don't have to deal with these students specifically.

Not wise, but I don't think the University can get off the hook by just saying "you had your choice back in September, you miscalculated about what the situation would be now, so sucks to be you-go teach some classes in person."

[Langue_doc]

A student emailed me at the beginning of this week because they couldn't find the course content on blackboard I was talking about in my introductory email to the class. As proof that the content didn't exist the student sent several screenshots. They were screenshots of a completely different class.

I'm not sure if I posted this already, but here is a similar story.

Summer intensive course, the first day of class. Disruptive student kept disruping all through the first hour or so of class when I was going over the syllabus, assignments,course materials and readings, and the grading policies. Sent Stu to the office as Stu's name wasn't on the roster -- this was a multiple-section course. A day or two later I ran into Stu and asked if Stu had found the right section. Turned out that Stu was enrolled in the equivalent of engineering whereas I was teaching the equivalent of painting.