Favorite student emails

[Biologist_]

I just received an email that started with "Dear Name of Professor" and ended with "I can be reached at Email Address or at Phone Number."

There was content relevant to my course in the body of the email, but this really seems like a form letter...

Was the body of the email about changing a grade? Because if you scroll to the bottom of this page, you'll find a sample form letter that fits your description.

See, students can do the research and follow formatting guidelines!

Yep. That's it!

How was the student's project about the endangered frogs in this county?

[Langue_doc]

Not a voice mail, but an email.   It hit all the highlights:
1) Professor not teaching properly,
2) Other students think s too
3) I'm an A student
4) Something MUST be done immediately
5) If you won't help I'll find someone who will.

How do forumites respond to the complaints that "other students think that you are (fill in the blanks here). I once advised the student to have the classmates contact me directly if they had problems.

[OneMoreYear]

Not a voice mail, but an email.   It hit all the highlights:
1) Professor not teaching properly,
2) Other students think s too
3) I'm an A student
4) Something MUST be done immediately
5) If you won't help I'll find someone who will.

How do forumites respond to the complaints that "other students think that you are (fill in the blanks here). I once advised the student to have the classmates contact me directly if they had problems.

Exactly, I say something like "I cannot discuss other students in my meetings with you, just as I would not discuss you in my meetings with other students. Let's discuss your concerns/problem/performance in this class."

Now, with my some of my grad students (who work closely with me and I can get away with this), I say "Yup, word on the street is I'm a hardass. Now, what can I help you with today?"

[FishProf]

"2.)  When the quizzes were available they had a date of may 7th-21st so I was working to complete the work within that time frame because that is when I thought the assignments would close. Is there any way to reopen the assignments so I can complete them in order to pass the course? I am looking to graduate this semester and need to pass this course in order to do so. "

The due date was 7May21.  The Final is DUE Friday.

The data format was used all semester.  How did you not figure this out sooner?

[onthefringe]

"2.)  When the quizzes were available they had a date of may 7th-21st so I was working to complete the work within that time frame because that is when I thought the assignments would close. Is there any way to reopen the assignments so I can complete them in order to pass the course? I am looking to graduate this semester and need to pass this course in order to do so. "

The due date was 7May21.  The Final is DUE Friday.

The data format was used all semester.  How did you not figure this out sooner?

Did the student really think they had until well after classes ended to complete their work? Or does your semester run WAY later than mine.

[FishProf]

"2.)  When the quizzes were available they had a date of may 7th-21st so I was working to complete the work within that time frame because that is when I thought the assignments would close. Is there any way to reopen the assignments so I can complete them in order to pass the course? I am looking to graduate this semester and need to pass this course in order to do so. "

The due date was 7May21.  The Final is DUE Friday.

The data format was used all semester.  How did you not figure this out sooner?

Did the student really think they had until well after classes ended to complete their work? Or does your semester run WAY later than mine.?

Fixed that for you.

[the_geneticist]

Got this lovely exchange this morning:

My name is [student], I am a student in your [basketweaving] class. I would like to set up an appointment for office hours with you in order to talk about the [basketweaving] project.
If you could provide a good time for us to meet in the next week, preferably on the 21 or 22, that would be appreciated.

Dear [student],
Thank you for your email.  My Fridays are booked solid with meetings and I do not hold office hours on the weekends.  However, I am available on Mondays during my normal office hours [times] and [other times].  If you would like to meet during my office hours, just click the link in the syllabus.  If you'd like to meet Monday afternoon, let me know what time to expect you and I'll send a Zoom link.
Best,
Dr. [Geneticist]

Apparently "in the next week" did not include waiting until Monday.

The availability of people in my group causes the weekend to be the ideal time to work on, and finish, the project. If you are not available for office hours over the weekend, would it be reasonable to ask you a few questions through your email instead?

Again, my group will be too busy after sunday. If I may ask a question now, that would be preferred. I only have 1, though it could either be as simple as where to look or as inconvenient as you having to do some research and I understand that your time and schedule is important. If you reply granting me permission to ask my question, I will email you my question, if not, I will go over with my group and TA again to see if we can work something out.

OMG!  Just ask your d@mn question.  "permission to ask a question"? 

[mamselle]

It may be a cultural thing.

Some places are really more open to doing work-like stuff on weekends than we are, and some of those same places may instill a very specific kind of respect for instructors that could include not asking an unwarranted (as in unwelcome) question.

It might not, also, hard to know.

But that is a possibility.

M. 

[the_geneticist]

Students are presenting this week.  I am getting a bunch of emails along the lines of "the presentation guidelines say to include [thing A], [thing B], and [thing C].  Do I need to include all of them?"  or "I read I'm supposed to have [thing A], [thing B], and [thing C].  Can I put in [thing D] instead?"

It's sort of a victory since they at least read the guidelines.  Now, they just need to follow them!

[ciao_yall]

Students are presenting this week.  I am getting a bunch of emails along the lines of "the presentation guidelines say to include [thing A], [thing B], and [thing C].  Do I need to include all of them?"  or "I read I'm supposed to have [thing A], [thing B], and [thing C].  Can I put in [thing D] instead?"

It's sort of a victory since they at least read the guidelines.  Now, they just need to follow them!

Yeah, it's kind of my plagiarism check. At least if they found something online, they had to reread and reorganize it and use my buzzwords enough that they did enough real work on it to grade them appropriately.

[the_geneticist]

And the first of the "if I turn in ALL of my missing assignments by [date], can I pass?" emails are arriving.
1. No
2. Late work from more than 1 week ago is so late it earns a score of 0 points anyway.
3. It is not mathematically possible for you to pass, even if you earn 100% on the final
4. No

I don't know why these students didn't drop the class given the super, duper late deadline to drop. 
Looks like I'll have a bunch of repeaters in Fall.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Student emails me and wants me to explain why stu has a midterm grade of "C." Not sure if the student is questioning why stu didn't get a "D" (considering both test grades were "D" grades). Basically, homework bumped this student up to a low "C" and I will attempt to explain that to stu. Wish me luck.

[dismalist]

Student emails me and wants me to explain why stu has a midterm grade of "C." Not sure if the student is questioning why stu didn't get a "D" (considering both test grades were "D" grades). Basically, homework bumped this student up to a low "C" and I will attempt to explain that to stu. Wish me luck.

Long long time ago, famous professor was confronted with a student's accusation that the F grade given was unfair. Famous person agreed, saying to the student that F was the lowest grade the administration allowed him to give.

[apl68]

Student emails me and wants me to explain why stu has a midterm grade of "C." Not sure if the student is questioning why stu didn't get a "D" (considering both test grades were "D" grades). Basically, homework bumped this student up to a low "C" and I will attempt to explain that to stu. Wish me luck.

Long long time ago, famous professor was confronted with a student's accusation that the F grade given was unfair. Famous person agreed, saying to the student that F was the lowest grade the administration allowed him to give.

Peppermint Patty's teacher once gave her a "Z" grade.  Patty protested.  "Ma'am, that's not a grade, that's sarcasm!"

On another occasion she was excited to see that she had gotten an "N" score.  Then she found out that she had accidentally turned the paper sideways....

[the_geneticist]

Hi Ms. or Mr. [first name],

This is [Hopeful Student], and I have enrolled in the fall course [Basketweaving 101], and also the Lab that will be instructed by you. I have a question, is it possible for me to take this lab course via online? Here are some of my reasons:

1. Because I am not in the country now, and I will come back to the US in fall. But the city where I live is now in a suspicious status, which means that lots of Covid-19 positive people were found. I do not want to risk anything.

2. According to the new U.S. policy, any people from a certain country (mine, [Country A]) will have to spend 15 days in another country first, like [Country B]. Then when I come back to the U.S. I have to spend another 15 days in quarantine. That is too much trouble.

3. I only need this Fall quarter to graduate, and afterward I will have to come back to my country again since that is the time when my Visa expires. So if I can take this class online (so far I only have this lab), I can save myself from buying flight tickets.

Please let me know soon, thank you.

Best,
Hopeful Student 

No one NEEDS this particular class.  It's one of many options to fulfill the graduation requirements for non-basketweavers.  And thankfully our admin has said that we do not have to offer an online option for our in-person classes.  I don't think students (or admin folks or folks who didn't have to create online classes) really understand that creating & teaching an online lab is just as much work as in-person.  I'm not doing twice the work for the same pay, especially not when I know that we have more than enough demand to fill all of the in-person sections.

Dear Hopeful Student,
Thank you for your email.  [Basketweaving 101] labs will all be taught in-person in Fall 2021.  I suggest you talk with your academic advisor on how to best fulfill your graduation requirements.
Best,
Dr. [Geneticist]