Favorite student emails

[RatGuy]

Class hasn't started and I've already received:

"Hey there! I'm in your class MWF at 2pm. I have a class that ends at 1:50pm and I wanted to know if it was ok if I was a little late everyday or if I need to make other arrangements."

[the_geneticist]

Class hasn't started and I've already received:

"Hey there! I'm in your class MWF at 2pm. I have a class that ends at 1:50pm and I wanted to know if it was ok if I was a little late everyday or if I need to make other arrangements."

Fantasy reply: you could try walking faster.

[dr_codex]

Class hasn't started and I've already received:

"Hey there! I'm in your class MWF at 2pm. I have a class that ends at 1:50pm and I wanted to know if it was ok if I was a little late everyday or if I need to make other arrangements."

I would give that student an A. Mine never figure this out until the first week.

[kaysixteen]

Depends on whether the campus is big enough to not reasonably able to walk between class locations.

But you ought to work on 'hey there' nonetheless.

[quasihumanist]

Class hasn't started and I've already received:

"Hey there! I'm in your class MWF at 2pm. I have a class that ends at 1:50pm and I wanted to know if it was ok if I was a little late everyday or if I need to make other arrangements."

Fantasy reply: you could try walking faster.

Other Fantasy Reply: I see you have Professor Runsover.  I promise to smack him in the head twice a day every day until he lets his classes out on time.

[marshwiggle]

Class hasn't started and I've already received:

"Hey there! I'm in your class MWF at 2pm. I have a class that ends at 1:50pm and I wanted to know if it was ok if I was a little late everyday or if I need to make other arrangements."

Fantasy reply: you could try walking faster.

Other Fantasy Reply: I see you have Professor Runsover.  I promise to smack him in the head twice a day every day until he lets his classes out on time.

Provided it's not the stop at the coffee shop between classes that's causing the problem.....

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Interthreaduality.

Stu email says, 'Hi. I'll most likely miss the 1st week of class due to Covid.' This is a high school student taking college courses.

Damn semester hasn't even started yet.

[Caracal]

Class hasn't started and I've already received:

"Hey there! I'm in your class MWF at 2pm. I have a class that ends at 1:50pm and I wanted to know if it was ok if I was a little late everyday or if I need to make other arrangements."

Is that an unreasonable question? My campus has classes on opposite ends of a large campus. The buses back up and you can't reliably get to the other side of campus in ten minutes. I tell students to do their best, but I won't count them as late.

[the_geneticist]

Interthreaduality.

Stu email says, 'Hi. I'll most likely miss the 1st week of class due to Covid.' This is a high school student taking college courses.

Damn semester hasn't even started yet.

Wait, when do your classes start?  If it's next week and the student is currently sick, then I'd tell them to "rest up and feel better soon".
Otherwise, they need to provide more information.  "due to Covid" is not a blanket excuse for missing class.
My money is on the student being on vacation that week & not wanting to admit that they will be in Vegas/Cabo/where ever.

[Charlotte]

Student says they will be absent for four weeks out of the semester due to being on vacation and needs leniency on late work for that period.

Students states they are a very good student who has made the Dean's list every semester. In fact, the dean reportedly told student they "must absolutely go on the vacation this semester despite missing so much class." The students academic advisor apparently also told the student they must go on this four week vacation during the semester.

[research_prof]

Student says they will be absent for four weeks out of the semester due to being on vacation and needs leniency on late work for that period.

Students states they are a very good student who has made the Dean's list every semester. In fact, the dean reportedly told student they "must absolutely go on the vacation this semester despite missing so much class." The students academic advisor apparently also told the student they must go on this four week vacation during the semester.

LOL

[Puget]

Student says they will be absent for four weeks out of the semester due to being on vacation and needs leniency on late work for that period.

Students states they are a very good student who has made the Dean's list every semester. In fact, the dean reportedly told student they "must absolutely go on the vacation this semester despite missing so much class." The students academic advisor apparently also told the student they must go on this four week vacation during the semester.

It apparently does not occur to some students that we communicate with one another and also know more about how college actually works than they do. These same students are generally surprised that we can see their activity (or lack thereof) on the LMS.

[dr_codex]

Student says they will be absent for four weeks out of the semester due to being on vacation and needs leniency on late work for that period.

Students states they are a very good student who has made the Dean's list every semester. In fact, the dean reportedly told student they "must absolutely go on the vacation this semester despite missing so much class." The students academic advisor apparently also told the student they must go on this four week vacation during the semester.

That gives me an idea...

Dear Chair:

As you know, I'm a very good employee. In fact, the dean told me that I "must absolutely go on the vacation this Fall despite missing so much class." [etc. etc.]

See you in October, suckers.

dc

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Student says they will be absent for four weeks out of the semester due to being on vacation and needs leniency on late work for that period.

Students states they are a very good student who has made the Dean's list every semester. In fact, the dean reportedly told student they "must absolutely go on the vacation this semester despite missing so much class." The students academic advisor apparently also told the student they must go on this four week vacation during the semester.

Good Lord! The entitlement...

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Student says they will be absent for four weeks out of the semester due to being on vacation and needs leniency on late work for that period.

Students states they are a very good student who has made the Dean's list every semester. In fact, the dean reportedly told student they "must absolutely go on the vacation this semester despite missing so much class." The students academic advisor apparently also told the student they must go on this four week vacation during the semester.

That gives me an idea...

Dear Chair:

As you know, I'm a very good employee. In fact, the dean told me that I "must absolutely go on the vacation this Fall despite missing so much class." [etc. etc.]

See you in October, suckers.

dc

Damn, I wish this could work for me.