Favorite student emails

[the_geneticist]

I've had a bunch of students e-mail asking me about this that or the other, without telling me which class they were asking about.

Same!  I have a template to copy and paste back. 
Dear student,
Thank you for your email.  I teach several classes.  Please tell me which exact class and section you are taking.  I need to know who you are so I can best answer your questions.
Best,
Dr. Geneticist

[Aster]

I've had a bunch of students e-mail asking me about this that or the other, without telling me which class they were asking about.

Same!  I have a template to copy and paste back. 
Dear student,
Thank you for your email.  I teach several classes.  Please tell me which exact class and section you are taking.  I need to know who you are so I can best answer your questions.
Best,
Dr. Geneticist

Yeah, lazy incomplete student emails are just not something that one should have to tolerate in Higher Ed.

My template reads as an automated spam response.
"incomplete message archived into bad email folder".  And then I chuck the email into a folder called "bad email" that I never look at again. All of my course syllabi require that students send me emails that are written in business etiquette, or else they won't be responded to and their messages will be archived and not answered.

I picked up that technique from this forum. It saves me so much time and also teaches students to adult up.

[Puget]

Not emails but I just got the info forms with mini-bios for my first-year advisees. Most are pretty standard, some a bit braggadocios, some charmingly nerdy and/or naive, but a few of them-- holy inappropriate levels of self-disclosure batman!

[the_geneticist]

I'm getting the "Help!  You MUST let me take your class emails".

The [Basketweaving for basket weavers 101] has OPEN SEATS.  Just.  Pick.  One.  I know you don't WANT to take a class that starts at 9/is on a Thursday/is taught during lunch/some other picky reason.  Too bad.  Welcome to college!

The [Baskets for non basket folks] is full.  But no one NEEDS this specific class. Take something else!

So glad I do not have the ability to add, drop, or change their registration.

[ciao_yall]

I'm getting the "Help!  You MUST let me take your class emails".

The [Basketweaving for basket weavers 101] has OPEN SEATS.  Just.  Pick.  One.  I know you don't WANT to take a class that starts at 9/is on a Thursday/is taught during lunch/some other picky reason.  Too bad.  Welcome to college!

The [Baskets for non basket folks] is full.  But no one NEEDS this specific class. Take something else!

So glad I do not have the ability to add, drop, or change their registration.

And the "I am an international student and must have 12 units..." email.

Typically these happen 3rd or 4th week when said student figures out they were dropped for non-attendance from their enrolled classes.

The aforementioned instructor is not really interested in re-engaging them, just to have to drop them again and hear all about it when finals roll around.

[Parasaurolophus]

I get about 60 or so of those every semester. It's awful, and made worse by the fact that I do control the waitlist and, thus, am functionally responsible for denying these students their study permits. Sigh.

[adel9216]

"Your class was the best class I ever took" emails :)

[apl68]

"Your class was the best class I ever took" emails :)

Very nice!

[FishProf]

In it's entirety:

"Subject: Helop!
just how to nativage through links on blackboard and quiz dates and scheduled date and times"

Online courses can be tough...

[Langue_doc]

Oh dear! I should be more appreciative of my students, none of whom have ever misspelled "help".

ETA: Stu upthread who emailed me "And when do we have to get the textbook by ?" earned 0 in an assignment because Stu didn't submit the same. Stu now emails me within minutes of that assignment being graded: "Hi, you gave me a 0 on of the assignments. Can you tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it?" Stu, read the syllabus and the module. Read the directions for that assignment. See my comment to the effect that the assignment was not submitted. Please review capitalization conventions as lower case first-person singular pronouns are an abomination!

[cathwen]

None of mine have, so far, either.  One thing to be grateful for!

On the other hand, I received this today:

Good Morning Professor, I have a question about the first quiz? What do we need to read before taking the quiz because the reading that is on the modules doesn't fit with the questions being asked to answer. I hope this email reaches you. Thank you.

Well, sometimes I make bone-headed mistakes, so I immediately looked at the quiz announcement that specified the material to be covered (it is correct); I went to Student View and checked that the readings were available (they are); and I checked the quiz, which covers exactly what I said it would cover.  I can't imagine what he's referring to!  I have written back, but as yet he has not responded.

[apl68]

In it's entirety:

"Subject: Helop!
just how to nativage through links on blackboard and quiz dates and scheduled date and times"

Online courses can be tough...

Maybe you should try adding a tutorial for your students on how to nativage, if you don't have one already?  I'd have been lost when I took online classes years ago if it hadn't been for the instructor's clear tutorial on how to nativage.  Nativaging isn't really that hard once you've had it explained to you.

[Langue_doc]

In it's entirety:

"Subject: Helop!
just how to nativage through links on blackboard and quiz dates and scheduled date and times"

Online courses can be tough...

Maybe you should try adding a tutorial for your students on how to nativage, if you don't have one already?  I'd have been lost when I took online classes years ago if it hadn't been for the instructor's clear tutorial on how to nativage.  Nativaging isn't really that hard once you've had it explained to you.

Canvas is quite straightforward. The first page directs students to click on the "Start here" link which brings them to a page describing how "nativage" Canvas, Canvas training videos and contact information for tech support, the syllabus, and a list of strategies for being a successful online student. At the end of that page, they have to click on "Next" which brings them to the first module. These are digital natives!

[FishProf]

In it's entirety:

"Subject: Helop!
just how to nativage through links on blackboard and quiz dates and scheduled date and times"

Online courses can be tough...

Maybe you should try adding a tutorial for your students on how to nativage, if you don't have one already?  I'd have been lost when I took online classes years ago if it hadn't been for the instructor's clear tutorial on how to nativage.  Nativaging isn't really that hard once you've had it explained to you.

It's there.  And for every single item that gets posted, an announcement, with a link, is generated.

And it is in the syllabus.  And the tutorial video.

[mamselle]

In it's entirety:

"Subject: Helop!
just how to nativage through links on blackboard and quiz dates and scheduled date and times"

Online courses can be tough...

Maybe you should try adding a tutorial for your students on how to nativage, if you don't have one already?  I'd have been lost when I took online classes years ago if it hadn't been for the instructor's clear tutorial on how to nativage.  Nativaging isn't really that hard once you've had it explained to you.

It's there.  And for every single item that gets posted, an announcement, with a link, is generated.

And it is in the syllabus.  And the tutorial video.

I think the point in apl68's answer was the spoof on the mispelled?/neologism:

"nativage"

;--》

M.