Idiots on Airplanes and Other Travel Commentary

[fishbrains]

Vent or comment as needed.

Today: If you wake me up a third time in my aisle seat to get something silly out of your purse in the overhead bin, it's legit for me to finally just hand you the purse and point to the area below the seat in front of you where you're supposed to keep that $hit. Taking care of body functions is fine, but, jeesh, what you did was pretty damn rude.

And hey daddy, mommy, and two teen kids f*ckface family: Trying to run up the aisles from the back of the plane when the doors open to beat the rush is a total dick move, especially if the plane is on time (you ain't missing your connection, and people aren't gonna let you do that).

Customs and TSA people: Kick-ass job today keeping the lines moving in a professional and courteous manner. Much appreciated.

[Sun_Worshiper]

My blood pressure rises during deboarding when inconsiderate people rush to the front instead of waiting their turn.

[dismalist]

I always wait  patiently -- seated -- until the morons in a hurry, causing their own congestion, and hence delay, have finished torturing each other trying to get off the plane first.

The fundamental problem is the absence of property rights. The English solution is to have a queue. But how are places in the queue to be determined?  Have an auction -- buy your place in line! :-)

[Wahoo Redux]

If you do not want to wear your jacket in your seat, fine.  But (beginning conjunction) if you do not want to wear your jacket take it off before you actually board the plane so we don't all have to wait in the aisle while you ease out of your jacket...delicately fold it...carefully place it on top of the luggage that you took your sweet time adjusting...then straighten your shirt...glance at all the people who are waiting for you...and then ease yourself into your seat.

When you are getting out of your seat, yes, I understand that the #$%!ing airlines pack us in like pencils in a box, but remember that someone is sitting in the seat in front of you and so you should not grab onto the seat in front of you to haul your dumba** up. 

Don't blame the flight attendants for just doing their jobs.

And #@%! the airlines.  You all suck equally. 

[Hibush]

The fundamental problem is the absence of property rights. The English solution is to have a queue. But how are places in the queue to be determined?  Have an auction -- buy your place in line! :-)

If you have to pay extra to get on early, and to sit in a specific seat, why not also have a fee for getting out of the seat early? "We are now deplaning Titanium members only, everyone else, please remain seated."

[dismalist]

The fundamental problem is the absence of property rights. The English solution is to have a queue. But how are places in the queue to be determined?  Have an auction -- buy your place in line! :-)

If you have to pay extra to get on early, and to sit in a specific seat, why not also have a fee for getting out of the seat early? "We are now deplaning Titanium members only, everyone else, please remain seated."

Yo!

[Anselm]

Why can't they board the plane starting with the back seats instead of the front seats?

[mamselle]

I thought this was about people who refuse to wear masks when required and attack flight attendants.

M.

[dismalist]

Why can't they board the plane starting with the back seats instead of the front seats?

They could and some do. I've seen it done. So congestion is reduced entering, but there is an existential exit problem. Barring a similar enforcement procedure, we're gonna get chaos.

People follow their own interests, but we gotta coordinate. If we all  understood the consequences of our actions, we'd still need a mechanism, e.g. traffic lights. But then, it's a miracle we observe traffic lights at all. There are places on the planet where traffic lights are not observed. Such places tend to be poor. I don't go there.

Airlines could get better at using an equivalent of traffic lights. As they don't, I stay at the back of the bus until the hubbub is over.

[Langue_doc]

Why can't they board the plane starting with the back seats instead of the front seats?

They could and some do. I've seen it done. So congestion is reduced entering, but there is an existential exit problem. Barring a similar enforcement procedure, we're gonna get chaos.

People follow their own interests, but we gotta coordinate. If we all  understood the consequences of our actions, we'd still need a mechanism, e.g. traffic lights. But then, it's a miracle we observe traffic lights at all. There are places on the planet where traffic lights are not observed. Such places tend to be poor. I don't go there.

Airlines could get better at using an equivalent of traffic lights. As they don't, I stay at the back of the bus until the hubbub is over.

dismalist, you haven't driven in NYC, have you? Drivers also ignore stop signs; the preferred "traffic" lane for scooters, electric bikes, and bikes is the sidewalk.

Didn't mean to derail this thread, but just this weekend got honked at, had someone on my right make a left turn without any warning or signaling, and was almost run over twice by cars refusing to stop or even slow down at stop signs.

[dismalist]

Why can't they board the plane starting with the back seats instead of the front seats?

They could and some do. I've seen it done. So congestion is reduced entering, but there is an existential exit problem. Barring a similar enforcement procedure, we're gonna get chaos.

People follow their own interests, but we gotta coordinate. If we all  understood the consequences of our actions, we'd still need a mechanism, e.g. traffic lights. But then, it's a miracle we observe traffic lights at all. There are places on the planet where traffic lights are not observed. Such places tend to be poor. I don't go there.

Airlines could get better at using an equivalent of traffic lights. As they don't, I stay at the back of the bus until the hubbub is over.

dismalist, you haven't driven in NYC, have you? Drivers also ignore stop signs; the preferred "traffic" lane for scooters, electric bikes, and bikes is the sidewalk.

Didn't mean to derail this thread, but just this weekend got honked at, had someone on my right make a left turn without any warning or signaling, and was almost run over twice by cars refusing to stop or even slow down at stop signs.

Not in many, many years. I thought it was more civilized there than in the DC Metro area. I guess it isn't anymore.

What I did see a lot of was clogging the box, which is the same problem as getting off an airplane.

[apl68]

The very few times I've flown, I've never witnessed any rude or foolish behavior by fellow passengers.  My last flight to date was in 2007.  Things evidently weren't as bad back then.

My biggest problem in flying has always been serious earaches.  On a couple of flights I've been in pain throughout the flight, and could hardly hear until the next day.  It hasn't happened every time I fly, but it's part of why I wouldn't mind it if I never had a chance to fly again.

[Wahoo Redux]

My last flight to date was in 2007.  Things evidently weren't as bad back then.

I've been flying since 2000.  The passengers have not changed, the conditions on the airliners have changed.

[dismalist]

On a transatlantic flight inbound, a long, long time ago, some dork sitting in front of me leaned his seat back fairly forcefully. Unfortunately, my knees were pinned and I could not move them. Dork gets up, turns around, and starts yelling at me to get my knees out! I yelled back. Stewardess came by and told me to get my knees out, or else. I explained why I couldn't. Dork moves seat forward, I get my knees out, and he leans back happily.

Not too much later, on a flight from DC to Chicago, same thing happens. Instead of resisting, because I had meanwhile learned that victimhood pays off,  I started screaming out in mock agony, ow, ow, ow. Dork II jumps up and starts apologizing profusely. All the passengers turned to my screams, but they were looking at him. Did he ever get evil eyes!

The problem is similar to getting off the plane, but not identical: Who owns the space above my knees? Apparently the guy sitting before me! The advent of Premium Economy transatlatlantically has more or less solved this particular problem by allowing us to buy more space above our knees!

[Hibush]

Why can't they board the plane starting with the back seats instead of the front seats?

That is actually very slow. The fastest approaches are the ones that have as many people as possible in the process of getting in their seats. The rear-first approach has only a few people getting in their seat and a lot of people standing in the aisle, not getting in their seat, and eventually a lot of empty aisle at the back. 

Surprisingly one of the fastest is to have seating be nearly random, perhaps with a weighting of window seats at the beginning. That pattern means that people are getting into their seats along the whole length of the plane. Another is not to assign seats, as Southwest does, and it goes very fast.

One of the airlines' objectives is to stroke the egos of the big spenders, and meeting that objective definitely slows boarding. (And deplaning as well if they adopt my scheme upthread.)