Is Queen Elizabeth in a coffin or casket?

[apl68]

I occasionally wonder about the coming time when my parents must be buried.  They seem to have some sort of arrangements made, but have yet to share them with me.  Making arrangements ahead of time is one of the best ways to curb the rapacity of the undertaker.

[Morden]

My parents had everything pre-paid except the coffin. When my parents died, I made the final arrangements. At the funeral home, they had a coffin showroom, with units starting $4000 CAD and running up to $8000 + accessories (why accessories, you might ask--it's to personalize the coffin). I asked for something cheaper, and wound up with a (rectangular) wooden box with lining for $1800. My parents were lovely, but frugal. There is no way they would have wanted the more expensive options.

[mamselle]

I occasionally wonder about the coming time when my parents must be buried.  They seem to have some sort of arrangements made, but have yet to share them with me.  Making arrangements ahead of time is one of the best ways to curb the rapacity of the undertaker.

There are four of us; when my dad died, my mom did all the arrangements, my sister (who lives nearest) helping, apparently with some pre-planning, since my mom was the planner in the family.

When she died, 4 years later, it appeared that she'd done detailed planning with my sister and our younger bother, who also lived nearby and was also her executor,  which she had told me in advance.

In both cases, there were odd, uncomfortable moments for me, who had been told who had the arrangements in hand, but not what some of them were.

They delayed my dad's service to the fourth day, so that our more distant cousins had time to attend. That was fine, but no-one told me until I had already booked my flights (I'd used up all my discretionary days visiting him a couple weeks before he died, expecting him to recover or at least rally for at bit; once there, I had to call my boss and ask for two more unpaid days off).

I only found out when the funeral director, to whom I'd applied for an advance of the obit to guarantee a bereavement discount on the flight, told me. Apparently,  I was just supposed to 'know.'

Other, sillier little things happened with both their deaths that were upsetting because everyone else seemed to know things I'd never been told about.

I showed up at in wake for my dad in my black suit, only to find that my mom and sister had decided that a white or beige suit with light blue accessories was what they wanted, both for that and the funeral. Even my distant cousins had been told; I hadn't packed anything like that and had to go buy something the next AM.

So, it was fine that others had made the arrangements (although I could have helped with music choices early on, but wasn't asked until the end, resulting in a mixup of tunes for one hymn in the bulletin that was avoidable with more notice) but the lack of considerate communication was weird, bordering on alienating.

Both times, I was made to feel like a distant family member rather than one of the sibs , and I was at some points left wondering if that was intentional or just a product of carelessness.

In fact, I think I know a bit of what Meghan and Harry go through at times: it's hard to concentrate on mourning and grief when it seems like you're being jerked around, every now and again...

So, whatever you do, find out surreptitiously or directly if anyone else has been helping to make plans, and don't be too surprised if you've been sidelined if, as I am, you're the big bad (regionalist slur) who's gotten herself jumped up with extra degrees and publications and turned Democrat on them, or some such....

Perhaps you can avoid some of that pain by asking around in advance. I hope so.

M.

[secundem_artem]

When my parents went, we were able to rent a wooden, typical looking outer shell.  At the crematory, they remove the shell and send it back to the funeral home.  The actual cremation was in a plywood liner inside the shell.  It makes for a less expensive funeral, but ye gods, the pallbearers (I was one) had some heavy lifting to do.

[nebo113]

The Queen's is lead lined, which is why it took 8 men to carry it.

[mamselle]

Yes, I just saw that....

   https://youtu.be/jajHTEDWMX8

M.