Anyone go to their high school reunions?

[Wahoo Redux]

I've got one coming up this summer.  Honestly, I'd forgotten about it except I saw something on social media.  From what I understand, the last couple were kind'a busts.  The first attempt was flooded with mailings and maps and lists of hotels (like we didn't all grow up in the same little town) and RSVPs and "Family Night" announcements and a list of names of "[Mascots] we are still missing."  I was only an hour away that summer, but I dutifully skipped. 

Don't get me wrong, these were ("are still," I assume) basically good people, but we weren't really all that into each other when we were all crammed into the same crummy high school in that boring little town.  Once we graduated, the majority of us decamped for college, the military, or other places and never really returned.  A few people, it seems, have kept in touch, but not the majority of us.

I've made contact with a few folks on social media, and we have exchanged a message or two over the years.

So, why would we all tramp back to our old stomping ground----which, ironically enough, has been torn down and replaced by a very modern building----just to see people we didn't care enough to keep in touch with in the first place?

Still, I find myself at that age when one becomes nostalgic for things one didn't really treasure at the time.  And I found myself surprisingly sad when I found out that a classmate I hadn't been particularly close to and hadn't talked to in 40 years unexpectedly died last year.  And I am a long way away from my home state and have been suffering through the pangs of homesickness for a while now. 

I'm just wondering if other people went to their high school reunions at any age and  what it was like for them.

[Parasaurolophus]

No.

I went to one of those British boarding schools you see in movies (as it happens, our dining hall was scouted for the Harry Potter movies, but Oxford won out; the school itself has been in a few movies, however). As a scholarship student, which... is not ideal in that environment. The pecking order is very much based on who your parents are and what kind of money they've got.

My parents are both doctors, and I only grew up with one of them, but even so, we were well off. But... you have no idea what that other world is like. The world of oil company owners, foreign nobility, media giants, big time politicians, the occasional mafioso, etc., all of whom send their kids abroad to be babysat 24/7 because they can't be bothered.

It's an absolutely shit environment. And I (still) loathe most of my classmates. I want nothing to do with that hellhole.

[spork]

My high school graduating class was 83 people. Many of them are dead or in prison. No.

[sinenomine]

I've never gotten word of my class reunions, although I know they've been held. Apparently the same clique of popular kids handles the invitations and PR, and those of us who were not in that group are skipped. I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall to see what classmates did with their lives, but that's about it.

[EdnaMode]

The only one I attended an event for was my 25th and only because I happened to be nearby on that weekend. My brother lives about 45 miles from where we both attended high school and I was visiting him to pick up some furniture and other things he had stored for me after our Dad passed. There was a dinner at a nice restaurant, quite a few people attended, so did some teachers, it was okayish. Everyone seemed to be talking about their kids and grandkids, and vacationing at [local area that's very popular for tourism], and I had very little to add to those conversations.

High school was not the peak of my existence, it wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either. Most of the people I want to be in touch with, I already am through social media. The few people I'd like to be in touch with but am not are the very same people that no one seems to be in touch with. If there's a 40th and the timing is convenient, perhaps I would consider attending. But perhaps not.

[little bongo]

Haven't been since the 20th. It wasn't terrible; most of my high school bullies found Jesus and were very polite. Might try to get to the 50th in 2031 if a) there is one, and b) nothing else is happening.

[bio-nonymous]

No, I really haven't spoken to any of those people since I moved away decades ago (no desire to ever return to that state either!). Our school was somewhat large (>2000 students), so I didn't know most of them, anyway. I don't feel any need to see them again, I actually have trouble remembering most of their names...even those who were in my close friend circle.

[onehappyunicorn]

My class was very small, somewhere around 50 total students, many of whom still live in the blue collar town we grew up in. We had a 25 year reunion back a few years ago, it seemed like maybe 20-25 people showed up.
I don't have much in common with most of them, we just happened to be in the same place at the same time. I don't do much social media but I do see postings from old classmates occasionally, some of them are remarkably the same person they were in high school, just older.
About five or six years ago when I was visiting my parents I ran into the woman who was our prom queen and her sister at a store. They recognized that I was their classmate but called me by the wrong name.
I don't mean to sound critical of the choices most of my former classmates have made, I genuinely hope they are happy. I doubt many of them are from what I have seen and read.

[apl68]

I was an extreme introvert who didn't make a lot of progress in developing socially until after high school, so I didn't have a very close circle of friends.  I did get along well with most of them.  It was a small town, and I knew some of them from Kindergarten all the way until graduation.  After that, school and work took us in different directions, and I did not stay in touch with any of my class.  My parents still live in the same town, so once in a while they give me some news about one or another of my old classmates.  On a rare few occasions I've run into one or another of them while back home for a family visit.

Our class for a long time didn't have anybody who took it upon themselves to try to organize a reunion. Then somebody succeeded in getting together a 30-year reunion.  I went to that one.  Most of the class was there.  (Several were deceased or in prison.  One of the guys I used to know best missed due to a family medical issue). It was good to see people, and find out what sorts of things they'd been doing. Some were recognizably the people I remembered.  A few not so much so.

Several members of our class went into education in one way or another.  I guess it makes a certain amount of sense, given that we were one of the higher-achieving cohorts at our school (The class right after us didn't so so well...).  Even the class clown was now a member of a school board--and still the class clown when he was around friends. 

Haven't kept in touch with anybody since then.  I don't do social media, and I've got a lot to keep me occupied in the community where I now live.  But I'm glad I had the chance to see everybody.  I'd be glad to go another reunion, should somebody organize one.

[lightning]

I've attended two of them. Both were pleasant and entertaining. It certainly was not a waste of time. The first one that I attended was more like a traditional reunion, in that social media had not taken over yet as the primary medium for staying connected with people from high school. I caught up with people that I had not heard from in years. I maintained contact with them via social media. I was not an early adopter of social media, but after the reunion event, I went all in.

The organizers for the second more recent reunion that I attended were brilliant, in that they acknowledged how social had media replaced a lot of what high school reunions were used for, so the reunion event was shorter, much less formal, and a lot cheaper. I even brought SO Lightning. Folks were friendly. Any enmity or anxieties from the old days did not re-surface.

I'll be honest. Returning to a high school reunion as a tenured full professor at a widely recognized university with recognized D1 athletics, was an ego boost, when re-connecting with the "cool" kids and my clique of "smart" kids, both of whom peaked & had their best years of their life in high school . . . . .

There, I said it. Hate me.

[aside]

No. I'm pretty sure no one missed me.  Besides, I had a fish tank to clean or underwear to iron.

[hmaria1609]

Left for college and grad school, came back, got my job at the library. I did see a few of my high school classmates but they all were in serious relationships. Others I lost track.

I'm sure Facebook has been used for everyone to keep in touch, near and far. I'm not on it so if there's been reunions for my class year, I wouldn't know.

John Kelly, now retired columnist at the "Washington Post," featured upcoming reunions for some of the DC area's big name high schools in his columns. It was amazing how many alumni group years that were going strong!

[secundem_artem]

I've attended two of them. Both were pleasant and entertaining. It certainly was not a waste of time. The first one that I attended was more like a traditional reunion, in that social media had not taken over yet as the primary medium for staying connected with people from high school. I caught up with people that I had not heard from in years. I maintained contact with them via social media. I was not an early adopter of social media, but after the reunion event, I went all in.

The organizers for the second more recent reunion that I attended were brilliant, in that they acknowledged how social had media replaced a lot of what high school reunions were used for, so the reunion event was shorter, much less formal, and a lot cheaper. I even brought SO Lightning. Folks were friendly. Any enmity or anxieties from the old days did not re-surface.

I'll be honest. Returning to a high school reunion as a tenured full professor at a widely recognized university with recognized D1 athletics, was an ego boost, when re-connecting with the "cool" kids and my clique of "smart" kids, both of whom peaked & had their best years of their life in high school . . . . .

There, I said it. Hate me.

Closest I came to a high school reunion was coming across the contact details of my high school girlfriend.  I sent a short message of greeting.  Reply came back to the general effect of "That's nice.  Next time, don't call us, we'll call you."  So much for happy memories of a sadly non-misspent youth.

I am not aware of any high school reunions, but I get an invite to my undergrad class reunion every few years.  I've never been able to go, but I also do what lightning does and humble brag my arse off.  I was NOT a stellar undergrad, but it's a lot of fun to email them using my uni address and sig line, plus links to Research Gate, Google Scholar and LinkedIn along with "sorry I can't make it. I have a flight to Johannesburg that day." 

Anybody who gets a chance to rub it in the faces of the "cool kids" (and I was most assuredly not one) should take it.

There, I said it.  You can hate me too.

[Volhiker78]

I went to my 45th Reunion and had a good time.  I'm introverted but made an effort to talk to people that I knew and also introduce myself to people I didn't know.  I think 🧐 general rules like staying away from hot topics (politics) in conversations,  watching your alcohol intake, and not expecting too much in regards to emotional connections apply. 

[lightning]

I went to my 45th Reunion and had a good time.  I'm introverted but made an effort to talk to people that I knew and also introduce myself to people I didn't know.  I think 🧐 general rules like staying away from hot topics (politics) in conversations,  watching your alcohol intake, and not expecting too much in regards to emotional connections apply. 

45th makes sense for an academic. No academic wants to attend their 10th reunion, because who wants to say that they are still in school.