Student-Professor Sexual Relationships

[Effarre]

I've just learned that one of my now-former colleagues is in a relationship with one of our now-graduated alumni. Their relationship began whilst the student was still a student, about a year before graduation. Traditional-aged (young) student, obviously older professor. While I am having feelings and reactions to this, I am curious to hear voices that aren't my own. Is a prof-student relationship inappropriate in this circumstance, even if not mentioned in university policy manuals? Is there any circumstance in which it is acceptable?

[euro_trash]

In the Netherlands this is not uncommon. I find it gross and highly inappropriate, but it happens a good bit. Surprising is that students often drink socially with professors here, which is just a disaster waiting to happen. At the national level there is a move towards a common code of acceptable conduct, and I expect that new standards will be implemented.

[pigou]

I file this very much under "who cares," unless the professor was the adviser/instructor and they had a sexual relationship when he/she was a student. That's an obvious "do not cross" line. Aside from that... everyone involved is an adult and free to make their own decisions. If anyone is not comfortable with the age gap, that's their own problem -- much like anyone not comfortable with a same-sex relationship can't impose their view on the couple.

[Effarre]

I'm not fussed about the age gap, more the power imbalance inherent in a professor being in a sexual relationship with a student. They were collaborating, doing research together, etc. Does the power imbalance matter? Or is it simply assumed that the student was able to parse this and move ahead accordingly? [I suppose the other question is, if this is acceptable, why would they sneak around whilst doing it...?]

[Hibush]

The situation you describe is not permitted at my institution. The power imbalance is but one of myriad complications that result in a compromised educational environment for many students.

[aside]

If the relationship started while the student was under the professor's supervision, then the professor would be fired at my institution, tenure or no.

[mamselle]

But the student is now graduated, right?

Is the student working as a paid research assistant or in some other paid capacity?

The lines of reportage have something to do with whether this is OK, or not.

If they're employed by the school, and the prof is their supervisor, then I'd say, "No way."

And otherwise, I don't think it's a good idea, generally (and it should have waited until AFTER the student graduated, in all cases), but that horse has passed the gate.

So...hmmm....

The other issue is, are you asking because you think you should alert someone?

That's another....hmmmm....., I suspect. If it's an employee, maybe? Or maybe not...they being adults and all.

One of those things you'd probably rather not have found out, because now you have to figure out what to do about it, if anything...

M.

[Hegemony]

Four of the professors in my department (not just at our institution, but in one department) are married to former students.  They did not wait until the students had graduated to start the relationship.

Does this mean it's okay?  Hard to say.  Sometimes it's okay, sometimes it's a disaster, and when it's a disaster, it's almost always the student who suffers. I would say that the professor should never be the student's supervisor or professor, and that even then, it's highly inadvisable.  But ...

[fast_and_bulbous]

I worked in the same department as a guy who married his former undergraduate student. They were "dating" while she was a student and he was not allowed to assess any of her work but was allowed to have the relationship. Icky and weird. I think they've been married for 25 years now and have a kid. He's been retired for a few years, much to everyone's relief.

[downer]

Obviously some people are going to rush to judgment, some are going to say that there are warning signs in such relationships with power imbalances, and others are going to say that so long as there was no coercion, there are no problems. In order to make your own judgment, you need to formulate your theories of power in relationships, age and gender differences, patriarchy, and professorial responsibility.

I don't really think you will find many relationships without power imbalances, so if you want to condemn this particular one, you should probably condemn most relationships.

[spork]

I got into a relationship with my professor and after we were married became her department chair. It worked out ok.

One of the problems I've seen is a policy on student-faculty relationships, or sexual harassment (the former can be defined as being a form of the latter), being inconsistently applied by administration.

[mahagonny]

If people don't want to resist being in love, you can't stop 'em. (Thanks to Yogi Berra)

[Hegemony]

I find downer's reply disingenuous.  Many relationships may have power imbalances, but the university has a duty of care.  Saying that because many/all relationships have power imbalances, it's okay for a professor to, say, grade a student differently because he is in a relationship with her, or used to be in a relationship with her but now holds a grudge....  No, not okay.  Not even if he's giving her a superior grade out of favoritism.  Universities should ensure that the system is as fair as possible, and these situations are demonstrably unfair.  And for whatever reason, significant numbers of these professors are serial predators of young women, and vindictive to boot.  I think there is no question that these relationships are egregious and should not be permitted.

The gray area is where a professor and a student are in the same department, but the professor has no supervisory power over the student.  And of course the situations where the professor is mature, moral, and careful not to disadvantage the student.  If only there were some kind of geiger-counter test that could distinguish the predators from the reasonable people. But as we see every day, there is not.

[mamselle]

The Pelican Brief also comes to mind....

M.

[adel9216]

I don't know, it's a very complicated and ethical issue. I think these kind of things do happen, some people genuinely fall in love with one another. Was speaking with someone about a prof in my city who married his student, they've been together for 15 years. However, I am not comfortable at all if this happens while the prof is an authority figure to the student (meaning if the prof is currently teaching the student). I wouldn't encourage it, but depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't condemn it despite feeling uncomfortable with the idea.

Where I live, there's been a lot of advocacy for sexual violence on university campuses, a bill has been passed, but one of the criticism by many advocates was that the bill doesn't hinder student-professor relationships.