"Favorite" student sentences

[polly_mer]

Rx: he copied the poster and presentation verbatim but turned the "word salad" thesaurus generator on the later work, fearing three well-written items would arouse suspicion...

How cynical one becomes...

M.

This doesn't even read like thesaurus abuse. 

I don't know what this is because even my non-native English speakers tended to be better than this as did my semi-literate general education students.

[the_geneticist]

I have these gems from the same paper.

1) The human tissue is very manageable and using its thermal effects to focus high – intensity on the specific area of interest is the main source of sonoluminescence.

2) Although this is a process for the determination of such live changing evidence, the total numbers varied between if the US was effective enough to capture the area of interest or if it was differed when compared to the HIFU devices.

3) Therefore, this specific treatment can't be a definitive method of therapy as it has many limitations, and the side effects are very dangerous when in comparison to diseases that are inclusive with the US therapy.

4) It has the ability to underestimate or potentially overlooked and the machines that are available via athletic trainers or sporting events aren't as effective as larger machines

5) The claim is that Non – thermal ultrasound will enhance their cell killing of hyperthermia, due to its general manageability in relation to tissue attenuation.

6) Neither group did not have any major differences in the tumor characteristics, but also no not severe complications were drawn from the HIFU treatment.

The student is livid and insulted that I said his paper was incoherent.

I've seen this sort of weird, meandering, convoluted writing once.  An ex of mine wrote like this.  He thought it made him sound super intelligent and that anyone who couldn't understand his writing was obviously an idiot.

[FishProf]

I have these gems from the same paper....

I've seen this sort of weird, meandering, convoluted writing once.  An ex of mine wrote like this.  He thought it made him sound super intelligent and that anyone who couldn't understand his writing was obviously an idiot.

Another sentence (the one that really tipped me off) was clearly a confunded attempt at paraphrase.

The source:  Treatment with A results in B, which then causes C, D, and E.

His writing: A is treatment with C and D, which causes B and E.

[polly_mer]

I have these gems from the same paper....

I've seen this sort of weird, meandering, convoluted writing once.  An ex of mine wrote like this.  He thought it made him sound super intelligent and that anyone who couldn't understand his writing was obviously an idiot.

Another sentence (the one that really tipped me off) was clearly a confunded attempt at paraphrase.

The source:  Treatment with A results in B, which then causes C, D, and E.

His writing: A is treatment with C and D, which causes B and E.

That's not even good Mad Libs.

[bento]

"Nature tends to vary, depending on where you are."

Essay on environmental ethics, winning my prize for terse understatement.

[writingprof]

"Nature tends to vary, depending on where you are."

Essay on environmental ethics, winning my prize for terse understatement.

If ever there was a sentence that should have started with "since the beginning of time" . . . .

[downer]

"Plato was a scholar conceived in Athens somewhere in the range of 429 and 423 B.C."

This is probably true, but it is an unusual way to date the philosopher.

[Parasaurolophus]

"We eat according to the taste of weather."

[apl68]

"We eat according to the taste of weather."

Well...nasty weather CAN spoil the appetite.

[AmLitHist]

From a Comp II paper:

By combining writing and editing, I prevent myself from getting into the flow of ether.

Oh, sweetie, after reading this kind of stuff all day, with some time out for engaging in a heated argument with two deans, I could use some of that ether myself right about now.

[smallcleanrat]

"With this type of brain injury, explicit memories are impaired while illicit memories remain intact."

[marshwiggle]

"With this type of brain injury, explicit memories are impaired while illicit memories remain intact."

Porn addiction? (I know, not an "injury", per se.)

[the_geneticist]

From a paper on invasive species:

"many plant species have been brought to various regions for their ascetic appeal with no regard to their impact on the local environment"

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

This excerpt is from a lab report about standing waves.

"This experiment is completed using an online stimulation with string attached to a hanging mass."

Apparently, there is also a "stimulation" website...

[Thursday's_Child]

A hypothesis must be falsifiable and testifiable.