"Favorite" student sentences

[FishProf]

TESTIFY!

you'll never hear someone in church yell FALSIFY!

I might, but I'd get kicked out...

[the_geneticist]

A hypothesis must be falsifiable and testifiable.

Aww, I kind of like that one.

[apl68]

A hypothesis must be falsifiable and testifiable.

In other words, don't make any hypothesis that you're not ready to swear to in court.

[mythbuster]

From a lab report about testing antibiotic susceptibility. "The lab manual does not include cutoff values for E. coli and penicillin because the FDA has not done enough tests on this combination".

Yeah. The most studied bacteria on the planet and the first ever antibiotic. We haven't tried that one yet.

[writingprof]

"If college were free, the ratio of students to professors would skyrocket, which would harm teaching quality."

Yes, friends: Even in purely hypothetical worlds, the number of tenure-track positions cannot be increased.

[fourhats]

From my first years in teaching, a pro-life essay (a topic I told the class to stay away from):

"As Darwin said in his work on the survival of the fetus...."

I think that course also yielded my first "it's a doggy dog world."

[writingprof]

From my first years in teaching, a pro-life essay (a topic I told the class to stay away from):

"As Darwin said in his work on the survival of the fetus...."

That student is so stupid and ignorant that s/he almost rounds the corner and becomes brilliant.

[Stockmann]

A hypothesis must be falsifiable and testifiable.

In other words, don't make any hypothesis that you're not ready to swear to in court.

But can you take the fifth?

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

"Also, with the addition of Mercury barley having an atmosphere, the planet can't hold gases and the temperatures would be insane..."

I know the student meant 'barely', but the idea of a well-placed comma (and a few other changes) leads one to think that Mercury has vast fields of barley.

[marshwiggle]

"Also, with the addition of Mercury barley having an atmosphere, the planet can't hold gases and the temperatures would be insane..."

I know the student meant 'barely', but the idea of a well-placed comma (and a few other changes) leads one to think that Mercury has vast fields of barley.

But if it can't hold gasses, it won't make good beer.

[present_mirth]

"[Other thing] is the same thing as being bedridden, minus the part of having to stay in bed."

[Juvenal]

"[Other thing] is the same thing as being bedridden, minus the part of having to stay in bed."

Yes.  I've often felt that way.

[apl68]

"[Other thing] is the same thing as being bedridden, minus the part of having to stay in bed."

Yes.  I've often felt that way.

Well, not having to stay in bed would make being bedridden less inconvenient.

[writingprof]

"When thinking about famous pieces of writing, most people in America might think of the Constitution, the Twilight series, or People magazine."

The thing that's so discouraging about this sentence is that it's not even wrong.

[Charlotte]

"When thinking about famous pieces of writing, most people in America might think of the Constitution, the Twilight series, or People magazine."

The thing that's so discouraging about this sentence is that it's not even wrong.

I don't know if I should laugh or cry at this!