The Venting Thread

[apl68]

We have now had our annual statewide professional association conference.  A VIRTUAL conference, which means two days of sitting in the office at work attending Zoom sessions and such.  It was awful.  Interaction with the speakers at Q&A time was very awkward, there were the technical glitches, no opportunity to talk shop and network in between sessions, etc.  Instead of a welcome break in the routine, the "conference" was more of an annoying distraction from it.  I feel so sorry for teachers and students alike who have been reduced to doing this sort of thing all the time.

The prize winner of all the sessions was the big business meeting.  One officer was Zooming from a guest room with a stuffed deer head looming over her shoulder the whole time, and a toddler niece out in the hall screeching now and then.  Another was in her car driving down the road (So THAT'S why they call it a "Zoom" session!).  We heard a third's dog barking while she was giving a report, and a fourth had a cat walk directly between her and her camera at one point.  It was rather entertaining as business meetings go.

[arcturus]

<unrelated>

I am grading a scaffolding assignment for the final class project in a large enrollment general education science course.  It is very clear that most students have done nothing so far on the project and their entries range from vague to down-right incomprehensible.

What I'd like to do: require the following verbal statement before students can access the course shell. Repeat after me: "The professor cannot care more about my education than I do. From now on, I will do the (very simple) work associated with this class. I understand that my education is my responsibility, and that the professor cannot care more about my education than I do."

What I am actually doing: writing comments to each student repeating the parameters of the final project and suggesting that they submit (via email) revised project descriptions to verify that their project will meet the minimum expectations for this major component of their course grade. Sadly, this will require even more time on my part, since I will have to read these revised descriptions and reply. If only they had done the work when it was required.

[paultuttle]

I am tired of my seasonal allergies. I am ready for them to stop.

That is all.

[Vkw10]

Sure, you can telecommute. After all, just 90% of your job is supply and equipment receipt, inventory, and distribution. You can telecommute as soon as you find a new job working for someone else doing something else. I'd rather have a vacant frozen position than have to deal with you whining about being expected to do your job.

[ergative]

I convene a large, team-taught undergraduate intro class. One of the lecturers, in particular, has been ignoring the documents and guidance I send out, and it came back to cause problems with a review activity. Students got confused, she apologized for the confusion to them, with lots of 'I don't know how this happened', and I had to do a lot of smoothing and 'oh, so sorry for the miscommunication'ing. Except there wasn't a miscommunication. I was crystal-clear about what I needed her to do for that review activity back in August. But for the sake of smoothness I pretended it was my fault and sent out a clarification to everyone.

Now I've goofed on something relatively minor, and she's acting as if it's evidence of more ineptitude on my part. It's really not. It's evidence of some ineptitude on my part, but the earlier evidence was me covering for her own ineptitude.

I'm so desperately frustrated by this whole task. It's a massive class, it has to be taught online for the first time, the students are all brand new to university, and I have to make all the moving parts work smoothly. There's friction. I knew there would be friction. I'm working so, so hard to minimize it, and I could really, really do with someone who works with me, rather than responding with unhelpful answers full of 'Oh, how I wish you'd told me this sooner'.

[mamselle]

Maybe book an appointment with her now, to go over the ways *she* fell down at the posts, not you--for meeting later, after it's all over, so it's more in the guise of a standard evaluation session?

Then plan every single sentence you want to say before then, thus focusing your sense of frustration on something--clear, uncompromising communication--about the issues and what you expect to be done about them in future. Keep a file and visit as needed.

Even if you don't do online teaching and learning to the same degree in future, she doesn't get a pass from ignoring instructions and then blaming her errors on the convener.

That's grade-13 behavior, you know?

M.

[Vkw10]

I convene a large, team-taught undergraduate intro class. One of the lecturers, in particular, has been ignoring the documents and guidance I send out, and it came back to cause problems with a review activity.

I'm working so, so hard to minimize it, and I could really, really do with someone who works with me, rather than responding with unhelpful answers full of 'Oh, how I wish you'd told me this sooner'.

I'm sorry you're dealing with unprofessional behavior.

Have you considered emailing information with a delivery receipt and read receipt required? Some people pay more attention if they see that sender has requested receipt. If you don't get receipts, you send ONE polite reminder that you need everyone to read class emails to ensure students get information needed to be successful. If that doesn't help, you now have documentation that you're being ignored so when lecturer tries to say it's all your fault, you have backup either that person received email but didn't follow instructions or that person isn't reading work email.

If you meet with person as mamselle suggests, I suggest having a follow up email drafted before you meet. Write out what you plan to say. After you meet, edit as needed before sending. My template is, "Thank you for meeting with me to discuss ISSUE. As we discussed, I expect you to DO WHAT by WHEN. Please let me know immediately if you need further explanation. Thank you for your cooperation in [helping our students succeed, complete this project, whatever]." Drafting the email in advance helps you plan conversation and makes documenting your conversation simple.

[mamselle]

^Ooh, good idea.

Like.

I'm thinking of a couple situations in which I'd find that useful elsewhere.

Thanks.

M.

[mamselle]

Unrelated double post.

I need my head examined.

I've just agreed to a Zoom dinner meet-up with my Michigan-based siblings on the night before the elections.

We don't see eye-to-eye on certain political issues and personalities, and they're not reticent about their views.

I can usually avoid bloodshed by biting my tongue, but it's hard to chew ones food that way.

Pondering a re-book, but they're saying they will be having blizzards soon and one has to drive to the other's home to use the wifi to be online.

I'm a dummy.

M.

[AmLitHist]

Mamselle, darn the luck--isn't it just too bad that [your internet went down, Zoom crashed, your electricity got knocked out when someone hit a power pole] just at that exact time?  And it didn't get restored until the next morning!  Ah, well, stufff happens......

(NOT that I might ever have used such an excuse myself, you understand.  Well, not more than once or twice so far this year.)

[mamselle]

Don't tempt me.

M.

[Cheerful]

Unrelated double post.

I need my head examined.

I've just agreed to a Zoom dinner meet-up with my Michigan-based siblings on the night before the elections.

We don't see eye-to-eye on certain political issues and personalities, and they're not reticent about their views.

I can usually avoid bloodshed by biting my tongue, but it's hard to chew ones food that way.

Pondering a re-book, but they're saying they will be having blizzards soon and one has to drive to the other's home to use the wifi to be online.

I'm a dummy.

M.

Could you all agree to have a politics-free discussion?  Seems reasonable.  You could say there's been politics overload and it would be refreshing and nice to catch up on other things -- books read, tv shows enjoyed, neighbor updates,  new recipes and foods enjoyed, and so on.
So sad when politics damage family interactions.

[the_geneticist]

I have family members that are so certain that "herd immunity" will mean the pandemic will end very soon.  Like by January soon.  Because "lots of folks" have already had it.
Current cases: 8.2 million
Current deaths: 221,000

If you think that's bad, let's look at what it would take to get herd immunity without a vaccine:

The best-estimate threshold for herd immunity is 70% Immune.  That means that 70% of folks have been sick.  With a current mortality rate of 1% and the US population at about 315 million people, so-called natural "herd immunity" from infections will mean:

222 million MORE cases of COVID-19
1.75 million MORE deaths

And it doesn't include the # of hospitalizations, the number of folks who have long-term damage from the disease, etc.
And that's just in the US.  This is a global disease.  It's only the beginning.

[mamselle]

Unrelated double post.

I need my head examined.

I've just agreed to a Zoom dinner meet-up with my Michigan-based siblings on the night before the elections.

We don't see eye-to-eye on certain political issues and personalities, and they're not reticent about their views.

I can usually avoid bloodshed by biting my tongue, but it's hard to chew ones food that way.

Pondering a re-book, but they're saying they will be having blizzards soon and one has to drive to the other's home to use the wifi to be online.

I'm a dummy.

M.

Could you all agree to have a politics-free discussion?  Seems reasonable.  You could say there's been politics overload and it would be refreshing and nice to catch up on other things -- books read, tv shows enjoyed, neighbor updates,  new recipes and foods enjoyed, and so on.
So sad when politics damage family interactions.

Even broaching the question of a politics-free discussion could open the outer can of worms in which the inner can of worms is hiding....and creamed angleworms on toast was not what I had in mind for my dinner menu that night....

I may be able to ask my brother separately--he's a bit less rabid about things--but my sister would have probably put their governor on the raft and rowed her out to the middle of the lake herself.....so, I dunno.

But thanks for the vote of confidence in quiet, non-political conversations.

'Tis devoutly to be wished.

M.

[Vkw10]

Unrelated double post.

I need my head examined.

I've just agreed to a Zoom dinner meet-up with my Michigan-based siblings on the night before the elections.

We don't see eye-to-eye on certain political issues and personalities, and they're not reticent about their views.

I can usually avoid bloodshed by biting my tongue, but it's hard to chew ones food that way.

Pondering a re-book, but they're saying they will be having blizzards soon and one has to drive to the other's home to use the wifi to be online.

I'm a dummy.

M.

Could you all agree to have a politics-free discussion?  Seems reasonable.  You could say there's been politics overload and it would be refreshing and nice to catch up on other things -- books read, tv shows enjoyed, neighbor updates,  new recipes and foods enjoyed, and so on.
So sad when politics damage family interactions.

Even broaching the question of a politics-free discussion could open the outer can of worms in which the inner can of worms is hiding....and creamed angleworms on toast was not what I had in mind for my dinner menu that night....

I may be able to ask my brother separately--he's a bit less rabid about things--but my sister would have probably put their governor on the raft and rowed her out to the middle of the lake herself.....so, I dunno.

But thanks for the vote of confidence in quiet, non-political conversations.

'Tis devoutly to be wished.

M.

I have a list of questions to ask at events involving certain family members. I'd much rather get a ten minute update on Aunt Zoni's pet chickens, Uncle Bob's bursitis, and cousin Joan's quilting club than hear political rants. Questions about deceased relatives work well, too, especially when they died before I was born.