Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[the_geneticist]

Dear TA,
You showed up late to teach your lab, never picked up your keys, emailed me after class started to ask how to use the projector (which you don't need to use), and didn't notice that you had an EXTRA STUDENT until halfway through class.  I'm concerned.  As in, how on earth did you make it into graduate school?!?

Bang! Bang! Bang!

And the finally noticed the fact that they had an extra student AFTER finishing grading.  Thankfully, it's a student who just went to class on the wrong day, and not a student who was taking another class who got lost (it's happened before).

[kiana]

We don't really have peer-to-peer interaction in the algebra classes, but there is plenty of professor-to-student interaction (one of the reasons even the online algebra classes are small at our CC).

Out of curiosity, what does your admin consider small? I have an online writing-intensive course with a 25 cap. It's killing me.

20 in developmental, 25 in credit-bearing.

But these are not writing-intensive classes. I have assigned papers in my liberal arts classes and those take FOREVER to grade.

[arcturus]

I am aware of the various web sites that sell papers, copies of assignments, etc. I have done my due diligence of googling my class name, number, etc and tried to convince these sites to remove my copyrighted content.

Today, however, a student informed me that she has always signed up for the GroupMe chats to which she has received an invitation (i.e., all of her classes since she started at this university). The invites are apparently based on the class rosters, which students can see in our LMS. Students are "sharing" their work on the assignments for my class in the GroupMe chats. While I actually want students to collaborate (building connections is a good thing, for a large enrollment online Gen Ed class...), this sounds like a place where they just copy each others work. Yet another example of the digital era making cheating a household name. Bang. Bang. Bang.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Lord have mercy!

Never ask introductory Astronomy students to do any kind of Math. It makes their heads explode.

Apparently, this student wanted to take an average of the average and was confused about how to do it. Yes, they do not know how to calculate averages. Combine this with a run-on sentence that is about a paragraph long and now I have an headache.

[arcturus]

<snark warning>

What?!!! You use math in your astrology classes?

</snark>

My university has a finite math/calculus requirement for all undergrads, but many of my Gen Ed science students cannot do simple algebra. I do not know how they managed to pass their high school math classes, let alone the one they need to pass to graduate college.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

<snark warning>

What?!!! You use math in your astrology classes?

</snark>

My university has a finite math/calculus requirement for all undergrads, but many of my Gen Ed science students cannot do simple algebra. I do not know how they managed to pass their high school math classes, let alone the one they need to pass to graduate college.

:D

I've had grown ass people call my Astronomy class an 'Astrology' class. Like do they think I have a crystal ball in my pocket (or I'm just happy to see them)? Maybe we'll do some phrenology too (good excuse to whack someone on the head?). Today, we will talk about that mysterious constellation in the Zodiac- Ophiuchus. When we talked about that in class, a few students looked a little panicked and wanted to know if their 'signs' would change.

YES! You too can learn how to read the Future! Take my class. :D

On a more serious note, it is sad that a lot of these kids cannot do a simple percentage or average. So much Math anxiety and shame about it...

[kiana]

Lord have mercy!

Never ask introductory Astronomy students to do any kind of Math. It makes their heads explode.

Apparently, this student wanted to take an average of the average and was confused about how to do it. Yes, they do not know how to calculate averages. Combine this with a run-on sentence that is about a paragraph long and now I have an headache.

Yep. The average of 4 and 5 is apparently 6.5.

[marshwiggle]

Lord have mercy!

Never ask introductory Astronomy students to do any kind of Math. It makes their heads explode.

Apparently, this student wanted to take an average of the average and was confused about how to do it. Yes, they do not know how to calculate averages. Combine this with a run-on sentence that is about a paragraph long and now I have an headache.

Yep. The average of 4 and 5 is apparently 6.5.

I imagine this student is from Lake Wobegone.

[Stockmann]

Nah, then the average would be 3.5.

[apl68]

Lord have mercy!

Never ask introductory Astronomy students to do any kind of Math. It makes their heads explode.

Apparently, this student wanted to take an average of the average and was confused about how to do it. Yes, they do not know how to calculate averages. Combine this with a run-on sentence that is about a paragraph long and now I have an headache.

Yep. The average of 4 and 5 is apparently 6.5.

Well, there has been an awful lot of inflation lately.  The student's trying to factor that in.

[mythbuster]

I have a new research student in my lab. Since the pandemic I have not been able to screen these students based on recommendations from lab instructors. It's showing.
     This one is totally incapable of recall from one day to the next. She couldn't even remember the location (two doors down the hall!) of the primary piece of equipment that she's learning how to use. This after the entire lab walked over to see it together. And the printed protocol for the kit assay she's doing may as well be in ancient Sanskrit. 
   I'm now revising my expectations for this project down to zero.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Stu gets upset with me because stu didn't know that the graph needed to be turned in with the lab report. Um, why did I ask you to do the graph?- for fun? Ok, that could be a possibility, but the dropbox explicitly states that you need to attach your graph to the lab report. Oh, and it's in the syllabus and I mentioned it in lab... I could go on...

Sheesh!!!

[mamselle]

The line at 2:33, and the section from there to about 2:55 seem to summarize some of the issues instructors also face these days....


   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM3GWjxIf2w

M.

[Aster]

We are 20 minutes into an exam. Instructions have been given out. Everyone is quietly puttering away. One student gets up and approaches me.

Stu Dent: "How much time left is there to take the exam?"

The student is literally standing 4 feet from a sign on the chalkboard stating when the exam is over. And a wall clock is above it and showing the correct time. Epic Fail #1. Can't Follow Child-Level Time Keeping.

Me: Pointing to sign on chalkboard. "You have until blah blah blah time to finish."

Stu Dent: "So how much time left is there to take the exam?" Epic Fail #2. Can't Follow Child-Level Time Keeping Even if Directly Prompted.

Me: Assuming that student cannot read an analog clock. "Well, it is blah blah time right now."

Stu Dent: "So how much time is left to take the exam?" Epic Fail #3. Inability to perform 3rd grade level subtraction.

Me: "If it's blah blah time right now, and you have until blah blah time to finish, then you've got blah blah minutes left."

Stu Dent: "Okay. Cool. Can I go to the bathroom?"

Perhaps this student's blood flow to the brain was redirected into bladder muscles.

[marshwiggle]

We are 20 minutes into an exam. Instructions have been given out. Everyone is quietly puttering away. One student gets up and approaches me.

Stu Dent: "How much time left is there to take the exam?"

The student is literally standing 4 feet from a sign on the chalkboard stating when the exam is over. And a wall clock is above it and showing the correct time. Epic Fail #1. Can't Follow Child-Level Time Keeping.

Me: Pointing to sign on chalkboard. "You have until blah blah blah time to finish."

Stu Dent: "So how much time left is there to take the exam?" Epic Fail #2. Can't Follow Child-Level Time Keeping Even if Directly Prompted.

Me: Assuming that student cannot read an analog clock. "Well, it is blah blah time right now."

Stu Dent: "So how much time is left to take the exam?" Epic Fail #3. Inability to perform 3rd grade level subtraction.

Me: "If it's blah blah time right now, and you have until blah blah time to finish, then you've got blah blah minutes left."

Stu Dent: "Okay. Cool. Can I go to the bathroom?"

Perhaps this student's blood flow to the brain was redirected into bladder muscles.

And this student can is permitted to drive and use power tools.